Thanks! They are going to take the transmission apart tomorrow to see what’s wrong. I’m sure it won’t be cheap. But the car is worth the investment since it has a lot of life left.
1 Like
Love potato salad 
1 Like
I do have a way to stay busy, but I’m not going to enjoy it. My entire apartment went to hell during my bender, I’m in the process of cleaning it now. Also got some music. The urges are slowing down, but still a bit there. Thanks for getting back!
1 Like
Let me know if it helps…
My anger and resentment from yesterday has turned into sadness. I feel depressed. I know I’ll get through this. The weather doesn’t help. Cold and stormy and we lost power for 5 hours today. I feel badly because I don’t feel like I’ve been the best mom today. I’m trying to hold it together. I’ve explained to my daughter im feeling off today. I don’t like who I am today. I’m trying to breath and reframe my thoughts. I should do another meditation for myself. I know things will get better. I just have a hard time moving forward sometimes after my heart has been hurt.
15 Likes
Day 107. Its blah outside so its been a lazy day.
10 Likes
Me too. This was my grams recipe. Looks simple,and so many ppl just put egg and potato and that’s it. This has celery. Onion, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, and celery and little paprika, and boiled eggs it’s the best
7 Likes
Checking in on day 311. Had a bit of a rough one. Had a fight with my partner, which is always a trigger for me and a reason for me to shut down and disengage. Caught myself legitimately craving for the first time in a while. Plus the winter will Just. Not. Go. Away. up here. We got five inches of snow last night and the temperatures won’t go much above 40F (4C) this week. The dreary weather is getting me down.
I am worried about those little seeds of relapse again. I went to an online meeting and now I am checking in with you fine people. Trying to remember that everything will pass.
Congratulations on 20 @Alycia! The first 20 were super tough for me, and you are doing awesome.
That potato salad looks super good @anon53116147!
Nice towel @Charlie_C! Didn’t know you were a rescue swimmer. Respect!
16 Likes
Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. Thinking of you and wishing you peace during this time.
Thank you Michael 
Hey Mark, how are u doing now? I Kistler swear ur post and u posted an hour ago. What are u feeling? Anxiety or stress or…?
Don’t feel bad about slipping, I was so close to slip today and I’m on 32 days. I had a really bad argument with my husband before going into work 1 to 10 p.m. and my best friend got in a car accident but she is fine but still all the emotions really got to me and I was so close to drinking but on my lunch I composed myself and just cried in my car and now I feel a lot better in the urge is gone but it just sucks when gets to be that overbearing. I still have the urge but I’m trying so hard not to slip since I’ve come so far.
6 Likes
Glad to ser u posting Mike! That potato salad looks fabulous!!! I didn’t know u were into cooking 
2 Likes
My son was considering applying/trying out/testing for for the PJs, and the swim training was the absolute worst! I’m in awe of your specialty. Thank you
1 Like
This too shall pass my friend…
But I do hear what ur saying tho. Some days we are just not at our best and it SUCKS SO MUCH to feel that way 
but u are a good mom!! And a good person!!! If u weren’t, u wouldn’t be trying so hard to improve ur life which in turn improves the lives of everyone around u. Hugs!!! I hope this passes soon for u
2 Likes
Wow!!! So much is happening for u right now! I am hoping, praying, and wishing u only the best outcome. I hope ur wife will be supportive of u for whatever the outcome is. I see that u need a diff job sooooo badly. It’s so important to be happy (for the majority of it lol) at work (especially since people spend sooo much time there). Wishing u all the best! Can’t wait to hear the outcome
2 Likes
Yay!!! Congratulations on 20 days
I’m feeling a lot of things right now, thanks for asking! 
I’m feeling both anxiety and stress, and the usual guilt and defeat that comes with relapse. This time though I’m also feeling fear: I lost the best job I’ve had in 10 years, my housing assistance isn’t helping with my rent and my savings will hold for 2 month, max. I feel like I’ve made an irreversible mistake.
2 Likes
Hello! First time poster here… Day 3 in who knows how many restarts since the beginning of the year. But this time feels different. I dont know if it’s because I have the worst sinus infection on the planet or if it’s bc im truly motivated to stay the course this time. Ive noticed that when I have the first shot, it turns into a half bottle quite quickly, sometimes more. And i start thinking about it before I even get off work! Used to be worse, i used to drink at work or wayyyyy overdo it at parties, and I had an incident with my car (no one hurt but a bush) and went cold turkey for 3 months about 3 years ago. And have maintained responsible drinking(is that a thing?), but still consistent drinking, since the sobriety broke then. I don’t necessarily get drunk all the time, save that for the weekend right!? I just maintain one level above buzzed. After that much alcohol I should be drunk. And doing that almost daily! Why am I drinking if the goal isn’t to get drunk? Sex drive? Completely gone. Instead I’ve been using the booze to distract me from the very real, small but getting bigger, problems, in my otherwise dam near perfect relationship! It has effected my motivation to even exist some days. My brain feels like it’s in a forever fog. I feel like I’m murdering my organs and have developed all kinds of food sensitivities bc im literally killing my gut. How do folks deal with the initial trigger to drink? Coming home is a trigger. Not bc home life is bad, but bc I grew up with the whole “it’s 5 wheres my beer” mentality from my parents. I can’t drink beer so I one upped my parents and do buckets of wine or straight alcohol. Mostly alcohol tho. I just need some advice on how to get over this initial hump of the beginning. Thanks.
10 Likes
That sounds incredibly scary and overwhelming. It probably feels like the end of the world right now and that it is irreversible. But luckily… things are always changing. We truly have no idea what the future will hold. We can only take the next right action If I can offer something to maybe help? Hope that’s ok. It has helped me to gain some sense of understanding and peace when shit goes crazy anyway lol But when really horrific stuff happens (even stuff that isn’t that serious but is super crappy news), I was told that everything can be a learning experience. They say everything happens for a reason. Sure relapse may have had a role to play in what happened, but maybe there is a new and better job awaiting for u. Maybe doors will begin to open up! Maybe there’s a reason behind ur savings being held up. I know for me in the past, I was supposed to get a larger sum of money and I was sort of not very firm in my recovery at that point (using at least once every 3 days). Funny enuff I never got it until WAY later (like months later lol). I was super pissed off but grateful bcuz I probably would’ve spent it all on drugs and nothing that it was supposed to even go to. Idk if this even helps lol but even in the shittiest of situations, we can usually find the silver lining in one way or another. It could always be worse (praying it never will, but it could). Hope ur evening gets better!
2 Likes