…1542. First day off in 13 days. Helping clean the house, then the gym…then Taking Ms. Monkey fishing for her very first time. I think about how today could have been if I were still drinking. I would still be in bed…when I wake up I would have a nasty hang over, and would do absolutely nothing today. I will take a sober life over that!
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You’ve got this 
it’s good to have tools in your back pocket for those hard moments and this community is definitely a fantastic one 
I believe in you!
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Today is my day 7! First full week since I tried going sober back in February. It feels good 
I hope for you all to have a wonderful day of sobriety!
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Huge congratulations to you on 1 whole month!!! Keep going!
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Yes Mel!!! So proud of you! This is exciting news. A whole week 
one day at a time, keep those days coming!
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Checking in 6 weeks free from weed and alcohol!! Sobriety feels good. There are tough days but the positivity and growth outnumbers those bad days. I feel like in sobriety my mental health meds are actually working. Feeling so blessed and happy to share my progress with you all!!
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I have been thinking alot about ur post and I want u to know how much I appreciate it. The first part about asking the question… do we always need to feel strong? And honestly for me anyway the answer is no. Why do I need to be? I think I was such on survival mode constantly back then that it was just a natural thing for me to be “on” all the time and surviving. I literally lived day to day (which I think alot of us can relate to). But now I am able to live and just be free and not be chained to addiction. And I am not placing myself in situations to be hurt or putting myself in dangerous spots. I think I do need to feel some sense of strength somewhere but I don’t think I need to have it constantly be apart of me (as uncomfortable as that is for me). The gym makes me feel like I’m on top of the world! It’s an inner and outter strength thing and it’s often very spiritual for me to lift weights and work out. But my HP also gives me strength and I forget that too. I’m just really appreciative of what u said. I apologize for not responding sooner but I needed to think about vulnerability and strength in that hope u have a wonderful day!
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Day 1
PMO addiction
Gaming addiction.
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I don’t know what you mean about SMART.
What’s that ?
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Self-Help Addiction Recovery Program | Addiction Support Groups (smartrecovery.org)
I have heard great things about it on here. From what I know, 100% secular, and much more focused on the individual.
This is the international site
SMART Recovery Online Meetings — SMART Recovery International
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Morning Check in
Day 118
It’s a beautiful morning today. Really crisp fresh air and I’m grateful today for being coherent enough to enjoy it. I am still clean and sober… another thing to be grateful for. I prayed this morning to my HP and surrendered, reminding myself of my powerless over my addictions, people, places, things, and situations. Asked for guidance in my recovery and help in turning over my thinking and acting to my HP. Asked for help in being a joyful, positive, and motivated person and asked that my HP show me how to be of service to others today. I feel like a completely different person right now… much better than yesterday. I really hope this stays lol At work for another shift. Will get more of a change to read and check in later!
Hope everyone has as addiction free day+
Hugs TS fam 
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Me too @Butterflymoonwoman the good thing is that there is also an equal amount of those who make it as well and I need to focus on that more too. Thank you 
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Day 23 - Another early check in for me. My son is off at a friend’s house so I have finally had some time to stop and just be. I am currently sat in a park enjoying the wonderful sunshine and feeling positive about things. Mainly due to reading about everyone’s progress. It really does help pull me along on the bad days.
This weekend with my son has been excellent. I’ve really enjoyed bonding with him again and we have absolutely filled the time with activities we both enjoy as well as some jobs and some homework. I may mostly see him on the weekends but I want to keep things as grounded as I can. We can’t always be doing exciting things every second of every day. I’m a big believer in balance.
Whilst I’ve had this brief time to myself I’ve been doing some self reflection. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have always struggled with self esteem and self worth. With both of these being defined by:
- How people view me
- Whether people like me
- By the completion of arbitrary goals (e.g. If I swim a mile or if I finish writing that book I will feel like I have succeeded or that I am enough).
A lot of this comes from an innate embarrassment about the hobby’s and things I enjoy. I’m a massive geek and I have always been super cautious about letting people know about my love of sci fi and fantasy films and literature games like Dungeons and Dragons, painting miniatures etc. It has always been a stumbling block for me. I have always felt that people will laugh at me for the things I enjoy or just stop liking me.
It’s entirely irrational and as a 30 something I should be able to see past this. That my self worth should not be defined by other people’s view of me.
So I have a new goal. To learn to love and accept who I am as a person. I believe if I can do this it may help me to build a foundation from which I can grow as a person and fight back against my addiction.
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That’s so very true. One of my clients a year or so ago AWOLed and went and used. She was missing for 3 days and everyone was out looking for her including the police. The police found her 
she overdosed. It was very upsetting. But we have to remain positive and solution focused on those who are currently trying to quit. I bet ur amazing at what u do! U have so many skills and self lived experience that can really be of benefit to others! Keep doing a great job!
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Congratulations Drew 
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Day 666 
Have a nice Sunday everyone 
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Omg Congrats!!!
Check in!
Alright- What a week it was. Flew to Memphis, Tennessee and Southern California for interviews. The owner of the Memphis job was a real prick. I had to take a personality profile exam and he thought I was too much a “people pleaser” and “Salesman”. Well, let me tell you! Leadership requires meeting the expectations and ensuring everyone is cohesive. So, he is full of shit. One doesn’t need to be a dominant personality to be a leader.
I LOVED SoCal!!! Southern California is where I grew up and where I belong. I really want that job. Cross your fingers! The recruiter received positive feedback, so I’m optimistic!
Well, I fly to St. Petersburg Florida for a lunch interview tomorrow. Could be a good job? This interviewing is a lot of work! Geez…
On the turntable…
Brother Jack McDuff
“Moon Rappin’”
1970
Blue Note Records
Style: Groove
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Checking in on Sunday. Been doing a lot of soul searching of what my triggers are and how did I start off so well, and was so proud, only to crash and burn.
Pain is a big trigger, having RA is a challenge, I’ve had for 28 years, I was diagnosed pretty young. I’ve had several surgeries and need a couple more. I do have RA damage, anyone who watches regular TV probably has seen the tons of RA medicine commercials, they sound great. Problem is, all the name brands cost more a month than my mortgage. I was on a generic for a few years, then one summer I tested with both strains of the flu at the same time, nurse said she’s never seen that before. My son thought I was going to die. I ended up with pneumonia, coughing up blood, laryngitis, every day was something new. One day I woke up with pink eye, seriously?! Needless to say, the new meds do the same x10, suppress your immune system. My Mom also was on the same med as me, for even longer. She died of cancer 22 years ago. It’s a side effect, but no Dr will say that was it. But her mom was a smoker, and lived to 93, so I think it was a factor. I rarely share about my disease, because I hate when people say, awe, or feel sorry for me, last thing I want. So last time I will bring it up 
Next, my Mom passed May 29, 2005. Around the time I started failing. She was truly my best friend. I talk to her still, but there’s a sadness I’ve never lost.
I’m lonely, had 2 failed marriages, surprisingly it wasn’t my drinking, the drinking happened to escape the days. 4 years ago I got away from #2, RELIEF is all I can say about it. I’m still digging out of debt, but I do see a light.
I have faith in God, always try to see a good spin on things, keep away from negative people. I pray, talk to God daily for help to keep me sober. Even though my blood tests don’t look good due to all the damage I’ve done to my body, I have faith it can turn around.
So that’s what I came up with, so now I’m working on how to deal. Someone on here said to someone, make a list of things to do when the drinking thought sneaks in, and I have done that. I plan on coming back daily, sorry for the length of this one. Thank you all for being you, and being here to share. 
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Awe u are such a sweetheart! Thank u for helping me last night my friend. It was absolutly so appreciated. Huge HUGE hugs! Ur a beautiful person inside and out! Ur support on here does not go unnoticed! Have a wonderful day!
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