Today’s the day! The sun is shining! My mom is moving in! GASP my mom is moving in!
Let me know if you get the reference
But for real that’s kind of how I feel about today. I’ve been preparing for her arrival all week and now that it’s actually happening I feel… worried? About losing my independence somehow. I don’t want things to be how it was before I moved out on my own - the whole overbearing, 20 questions, need to know where you’re going and with who and for how long etc really ground my gears as a teen and still does.
However, I’m not going to dwell too much on these feelings and just take them as nothing more but jitters. I’ve been seeing a lot of signs in the form of angel numbers that I’m moving in the right direction in my life, and I’m going to trust those signs.
I hope everyone has a lovely day and finds a smile or an honest laugh!
Day 29 - This weekend I have got away to see my parents. Being back here and away from all the highs and lows of restarting my life has been good and grounding.
The voice that is my addiction is still there but I am choosing not to listen. It feels good to be able to do that today. At the same time I am not taking this for granted. I have won today but I will keep taking things one day at a time.
Love your positivity! Restarting can be scary, humbling, and exciting all at the same time. I hope you find your way and experience signs that reassure you of your path, whatever it is.
Every day sober is another step up on a ladder that we build ourselves to bring us farther away from our voices of addiction. Congratulations on adding another rung to yours!
First 24 hours behind me! I feel OK, a bit “bored” in the evening if you know the feeling, but OK in general. I filled my day with cooking, cycling and reading. Also reading what you share here:) it helps a lot.
I’m back after 6 months of drinking beers from time to time, lately while travelling it turned into drinking beer every single day, even when I stayed at the hotel alone. Binge eating goes together with it, it’s “automatic” for me when I drink. I see that it’s happening every day now, I have less and less energy to deal with problems and challenges at work, I get irritated easily, in the evenings after drinking and eating I’m useless - no power or will to do anything other than watching TV. So I decided to give sobriety another try.
In september 2021 I tried for the first time in my life - I was able to stay clean for 3,5 months, and then some “special occasions” started to appear… and you know how it goes:)
What really helped me at that time, was this app and reading this forum, and everything you share and say here. So I’m very happy to be back, join your community as a more active member, and support you as well on your journey to health and peace. Thank you.
I’m physically burned out today. All that work this week to prep the yard sale and three people showed up Sat outside in this humid heat from 8am to 2pm when I decided to fold. I did make $45 though so I can get that surprise five year medallion for my granddaughter at the NA convention. About 30 minutes after we got everything inside the heavens opened up so badly our screened in Florida room flooded. I sat back there reveling in the glory of Mother Nature watering the earth. It renewed my spirit. I adore storms. So all in all it’s been a productive week for me even if it wasn’t financially lucrative. I set goals, I fulfilled them. I stopped and rested when needed instead of pushing through. I’m satisfied.
Problem is between yesterday and today I wasn’t here much and boy has everyone been talkative lol. Is there a way to go to last read message in a thread so I don’t have to scroll and scroll to see what I missed? Going to catch up for awhile, chow down on homemade lasagna and hit the sack early.
I hope all of you had a blessed and sober day. You guys matter to me. You are members of my recovery family
I am struggling with this professional transition. My entrepreneurial project is opening its doors July 6 and I have a long list of things I still need to do. I’m scared.
Checking in Day 124
Hi TS fam! It’s 430 pm here and I have done nothing all day! I had a 3 hour nap which i rarely do, just super exhausted. I don’t like it that I’m like this, bcuz I have so much to do. Was too tired to even eat. But I did manage to eat a little something and drink some coffee to get myself going… knowing that once I get moving and doing things I will feel better. I have already recieved compliments on the bday treats, so that makes me feel good. Just trying to get my day started… at 430pm
Hope everyone is having a good addiction free day!
That’s such a nice picture!!! Sounds like u had such a productive day it’s amazing also that ur profile pic looks almost exactly like u in real life! How cool is that!
Naps are great! I had some coffee last night after 7pm and I was awake till 3. Woke up before 7. Naturally I took a nap and didn’t wake up till 2:30 so yeah my day is starting a bit late.
Everybody have a great Saturday!
I’m trying to fix things, but I realize now that I’ve thrown all efforts towards recovery and getting better out the window. I’ve been doing everything I know I shouldn’t. Luckily I haven’t self harmed but I’ve had some close calls. I’m not eating. I’m not sleeping. I’m hardly showering. I can’t be bothered to do my laundry. Honestly I need to be inpatient considering how poorly I am doing. However that’s not an option. Money aside, I start work on the 27th so that’s not going to happen. I just have to figure things out myself.
Please stay in touch! I’ve had hundreds of times where nothing felt like it was worth doing. Not eating, sleeping, showering. Speaking for myself, I enter into that self neglect right before I relapse. You may be different, but I’m worried nonetheless. Stay in contact, okay?
Last couple days I keep getting thoughts of just drinking again like I used to. Looking at/ thinking about drinking a beer bottle already gives me a special feeling.To be honest though I’ve seen alot of beer bottles around me those days so I could’ve done more to keep these thoughts away, as I’m sure that’s one of the reason it gets triggered. I would never have thought it’d annoy me that my dad would keep drinking but it’s starting to make me feel jealous of him. Even though he also drinks too much and its not doing him much good either. I don’t know what to do with the thoughts, I just keep ignoring them everytime but what if I keep getting them more. What if the day comes I have a ‘valid’ excuse to drink.
I understand. Im around alcohol a lot because I live in a rooming apartment at this time. Sometimes I wish I could get everyone to stop but that’s not within my control. They need to stop drinking because they want to which is extremely hard to accept for some. I just remember my reasons to keep going for sobriety. Not really reasons to stop drinking but reasons to continue sobriety. Sobriety will change anyone’s life but they need to stick with it. I don’t know if you have a higher power. Mine is the univers. I’ve just seen lots of magic in this sober journey. Things that just can’t be managed worked out for the better
You got this
If you can be sober for even 1 second it’s a huge victory
And when the cravings pass, which they always do it feels amazing
Not bad at all. Valeo, the local MH people have a cool service called “Peer Support”. People that have long term recovery hang out with you and help you socialize and have fun without alcohol. My guy Brian came by at 3, and we hung out for a couple hours. It’s always great to hang out with him.
I can’t imagine how hard that would be to see someone close to u drinking. I wouldn’t be able to be around it at all. I’d most likely cave unfortunately. U do have alot of strength to stay sober being around alcohol and beer bottles. But strength only goes so far in my opinion… bcuz alcohol and drugs are super sneaky and baffling and powerful. I have had some relapses where I couldn’t even tell u what happened but when looking back, could see that addiction working its way in. This is just my opinion… but ignoring the trigger or urge only works for so long (for me anyway). I find when I ignore it or try to distract myself from those thots, they end up slowly getting bigger and stronger until at some point I cave. I would hate to see u in that position and having you reset ur timer. Honestly, what has helped is actually facing the urge head on. So I literally ask myself, “what’s going on here? Why am I wanting to use/drink?”. Then sort of think about what’s been going on lately. Once I figure that our I can remove what’s bothering me or I remove myself from the situation if I can’t control the environment. I’m glad u came on here and spoke about it instead of stewing in these thots. Remind urself of why u quit. I also feel that jealousy sometimes. But the reality is… is that I AM an recovering addict and I will never be able to drink or use like the everyday average person. I need to really accept that internally. Moderation doesn’t work, setting rules for myself don’t work, once I start I keep going and it goes downhill fast. There’s a reason u quit and sometimes we just need think of how bad it gets when we use substances. It’s an awful feeling having to reset the timer and go thru those negative emotions, the guilt n shame n disappointment, the physical effects… I know u don’t want it. Don’t let that addiction sneak it’s way un my friend
Thanks, yeah not a single relapse have been worth the feeling of shame/guilt, and feeling like a failure afterwards. Yet staying sober will always give a slight feeling of accomplishment/pride. I’m still thinking about my higher power
Another fight with the hubby…i just asked for a hand preparing dinner and he gave me attitude and said “you said you were cooking dinner”. I thought this was a partnership. I feel undervalued and like this isnt a partnership. Makes me not want to cook for him…we shall see what next week holds lol
Thinking through this, he knows im upset and apologized and helped a little. But theres an immature piece of me that doesnt want to cook for him in the near future. Doing that would be petty and draw out this fight. But damnit he would realize how much i do. Idk. Just working through it here
I feel OK, a bit “bored” in the evening if you know the feeling, but OK in general. I filled my day with cooking, cycling and reading. Also reading what you share here:) it helps a lot.
Sat outside in this humid heat from 8am to 2pm when I decided to fold. I did make $45 though so I can get that surprise five year medallion for my granddaughter at the NA convention. About 30 minutes after we got everything inside the heavens opened up so badly our screened in Florida room flooded. I sat back there reveling in the glory of Mother Nature watering the earth. It renewed my spirit. I adore storms. So all in all it’s been a productive week for me even if it wasn’t financially lucrative. I set goals, I fulfilled them. I stopped and rested when needed instead of pushing through. I’m satisfied.
