Checking in daily to maintain focus #46

Will be Day 44 tonight. Still having some anxiety and trouble sleeping. Been trying different CBD products.

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20D

I finally got my Jeep back up and running yesterday. I replaced the fan radiator, fan relays and coolant sensor. Today, I took it to work and when everyone left (I had to stay late), I cleaned it up really good. Came back home, bought dinner for the family and proceeded to clean out the van as well. Keeping myself busy by doing something productive and meaningful.

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You do whatcha gotta do to stay sober. Keep going!

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Day 172 again

Day off tomorrow, and only have therapy. Tomorrow I work again, painting at the same place. I dont mind it. Ill bring another lunch. Had pasta for dinner that was good. Need to eat the bagel i made earlier.

Dissociated and sad.

Im resigned this year to just. Processing. It wont feel good. Ill have thoughts and feelings ill hate. Better to feel them now than never, but need to handle myself. Idk. Idfk. One day at a time, until march, and beyond. If nothing else ill be sober and in the habit of putting dishes away. 6 months will be a whirl of grief like all the other milestones.

Its best for everyone if i stay present and not petty. I have to fill my head with good things to learn. And not circular bullshit to nowhere. Was sent a link to housing history of my new town. It would be very good to know more history of this place.

The heartbreak tonight is physically painful. Shout out to those keeping head above water. It is exhausting.

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Daily check in,

Not sure :thinking: how I am feeling or if I am feeling anything at all 2 be completely honest. Since Sunday I really havenā€™t had any feelings, absolutely none.

I know that after my over 50ā€™s group today I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, only because I did open up about how I was feeling on the group topic and then I was getting feedback from my pierā€™s and I took it and I couldnā€™t argue only because 1 they were right, i have known a lot of them for over a yr now and they have seen me change in my recovery over the last 1.5 yrs but, hearing all of what they had to say really felt like the truck of bricks :brick: were coming at me and it was so overwhelming.
Then having to check into my relapse prevention group just now I really couldnā€™t share when it was my turn cause i was so overwhelmed, plus i was picked to lead is off tonight.

I guess you can say that now i am feeling a bit overwhelmed now :woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face: so i am feeling something now. I am coloring to keep me focused. This is my 2nd page in 2 days.

1y 4d no alcohol & 44 days no weed

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Tonight will be day 176 of no self harm

Sorry for the lack of check ins been pretty busy. I got a new job at the daycare near me!!! Itā€™s finally a job Iā€™m passionate about and Iā€™m confident Iā€™ll be there long term. Iā€™ve been doing online trainings and I finished today so my first day is tomorrow. Iā€™m so excited. The daycare will actually pay for me to get my early childhood development license so Iā€™ll be working towards earning that.

Iā€™ll admit the trainings were very heavy. SIDS, child abuse, human trafficking, etc. But Iā€™m going to hang out with my best friend for a little bit to help lift my mood.

I hope you all are well

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Oh my God!!! Yes I am so excited for u! Ur going to do amazing! This really sounds like an awesome position for u. Something super positive and it will give u the opportunity to reach other goals that uv been wanting to reach :slight_smile: really thrilled for u girl!

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Thank you! It feels like a meaningful job. I want to run a foster care center for kids who are considered ā€œtroubledā€ one day so Iā€™m really excited that Iā€™m actually working towards that. This could really be a new start for me :relaxed:

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Welcome back. :blush:

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Checking in -Day 6
We experienced many ā€œwinsā€ today at work! So many good things are happening at my retirement community. Big wins! So, I got the team together and talked about gratitude and ā€œenjoying the winsā€. Great day today at work.

I was weepy in the morning as I miss my wife and daughter. I pulled it together and listened to Pastor Joel Osteen on SiriusXM radio on my way to work. He is encouragingā€¦.

Had my second appointment with my new Psychiatrist and it went well. Going to try a new med for depression. Iā€™m encouragedā€¦.

I know I need to pull it together. My wife informed me this morning that she will no longer live her life with me in such a state of self pity. BIG WAKE UP CALL! So, I also found a therapist who accepts my insurance today. Iā€™m encouragedā€¦

My son is struggling in Southern California as there are too many people and he is getting paranoid. We talked that he could go back to Michigan to live with his Mom and he is contemplating it. Ughā€¦.He is just having a hard time. I feel for him.

Another day sober and I feel goodā€¦I think Iā€™m going to stay sober for the long haul. Being connected to this community is encouraging.

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Congratulations on your new position. Big win!

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Thank you!:heart:

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I too am living in a new place. Very stressful. One has to build their whole ā€œinfrastructureā€ up again. It is exhausting. Iā€™m here with youā€¦

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Checking in on day 439. I really liked this passage from ā€œIn the Realm of Hungry Ghostsā€ and I wanted to share with the class:

In an ecological framework recovery from addiction does not mean a ā€œcureā€ for a disease but the creation of new resources, internal and external, that can support different, healthy ways of satisfying oneā€™s genuine needs.

Congratulations @Zeekinout and @BrianP on 4 months, @cat-i-am on a six hundo and @Piglet86 on 60! Keep up the great work! And congrats @SadMemeQueen on the new job!

Hope everyone has a peaceful and happy day or night.

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We are doing this togetherā€¦Iā€™m on day 6 and super emotional about my life. Letā€™s encourage one another~

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Congrats to all the milestones today. Looking forward to celebrating another sober day with you all tomorrow

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Checking inā€¦

I am so stoked to be apart of this!!!
Living is just begining my friendsā€¦
They say dont quit before the miracle happens but thats kind of a trick, because they are constantly happening. Just keep coming back and when itā€™s hard show up more. Just keep talking and when it hurts, talk more.

I love my life today. :heart:

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Good morning mediterranean style, olive trees. Being sober is the best way to enjoy environment and nature sights.

Letā€™s continue in the path of sobriety!

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Congratulations Megan!! :partying_face:

Sounds like a great job, Iā€™m so happy for you :hugs:

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Shingles aka grown up chicken pox, (same virus)

I feel that for some reason I always get sick after vaccinations.

Hopefully it doesnā€™t spoil your weekend

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