I hope you can find something that suits you better. I obviously don’t know you but I think for most of us, if we are ‘bad’ at something it is either because we haven’t had enough practice or it’s just not the right thing for us. Try and give yourself some grace and don’t lose all the progress you’ve made in getting sober. It is so easy to focus on the bad thing that’s happening and to forget to give ourselves credit for all the good stuff we’ve done!
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Have a week sober again after a month full of relapses and terrible decisions. Attending my first gamblers anonymous meeting tomorrow evening. Feel positive about that, I spoke to the man who organises them on the phone and he was understanding and encouraging.
Have messed myself up financially a bit but have a plan in place. Just need to keep it together now and hoepfully the meetings will give me the extra push I need. I just need to put in the work, stay focused.
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I think the tax cut is being scrapped now, as it should be! I’m going to buy myself some extra fluffy snug slippers this week 
it all helps, I guess…
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Sorry to hear things are crappy. I hope it gets better soon. I’ve always found that when one door closes a couple more open up. Wishing this for you 
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Day 116 
My daughter collected and delivered this for me today! So excited to have it. I haven’t played much as it’s quite late but I will be jumping on it in the morning 
My daughter didn’t stay a minute 
I asked when she would come to see me and she said she was busy for the next three months. I miss her so much but what can you do 
But it was really nice of her to go out of her way to get the digital piano. I guess learning to play will fill some of the gap x
Keep on keeping on x
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I still go to meetings, I still help others, I still only stay sober for 1 day, I still pray to something when in doubt, I am still grateful every morning and evening.
I don’t forget where I came from what I am or presume it will be the same tomorrow.
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@les Congratulations! 
@Minatasha Work doesn’t define you. Don’t let it be an excuse to drink What can you learn from the experience of that job so you can get another that suits you better?
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Day 18. For some reason today I was really trying to talk myself into drinking again. Trying to tell me self it would be ok, I’ve proved I’m not an alcoholic. Had to shut my inner asshole up by running 2 miles then a cold shower. Definitely feel better after. Definitely not drinking today. 
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Correct. Thank you for reminding me. Haha. I wasn’t going to let myself talk myself into drinking today, it was just crazy to see how persuasive my inner self was. I know better than to listen to me though.
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Ya my wife sacrificed some pantyhose lol they look amazing
19 Days sober
18 Days smoke free
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Nice to see you too 
Not gonna lie, im wondering if i need 3 aa meetings a week. Im 5 months sober but still have my toddler sober legs. Maybe i should feel blessed im not obsessed with getting off work and getting shitfaced BUT i still have a lot to learn. Imma maintain until atleast one year and then reaccess.
Went to a step mtg tonight and we read step one
I fear im forgetting how powerless i am over alcohol. One drink was never one. I was drinking when i didnt even want to. I was hopeless and lonely. I cant forget my desperation!
No excuses. Atleast 3 meetings a week for now
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Evening Check in
Day 232
The day is almost done! Yay!!! Its been hard for sure. Physically ive been pushed to the max. I have been awake for just over 38 hours (will be 40 hours once my sons overnight nurse arrives). I dont even feel human at this point. Its hard for me to think and speak clearly. My eyes are heavy. But i have to stay awake to watch my son until his nurse comes to take over for the night. When she gets here, Im going to have literally the best sleep of my life haha My son is doing better. The antibiotics seemed to help. Im grateful we didnt have to stay overnight at the hospital again. It was a shitshow there but the hospital is the best & worst place to be in when you need it lol
Recovery wise… i did have sone silly using thoughts. Like i mentioned earlier staying awake like this triggers past memories of old using days when id feel so drained from using and staying awake. Dont like this feeling at all. Seriously sleep is the best thing ever!!! Im seriously needing to make up for alot of lost sleep (over many diff reasons lol). But i always just brush those using thoughts aside. Drugs dont play any role in my new life!
Health wise… thats gone right out the window. With me being sick myself and then not being able to sleep for 40 hours (his nurse comes here in 2 hours) and now not having time for workouts as my son isnt in school now until October 17, I will need to go with the flow and do my best with what time I have while hes home during the day. Maybe at home workouts? Or watching what I eat would help so i dont pack on the pounds lol ugh i gotta be gentle with myself here. I need to aleep 1st before i care about this stuff at this point. Grateful to God and to be home. Love u guys! Hope ur all having a good day/night!
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I am so proud of you for dealing with all this sober. What a change you have had. Hope you get to see some sweet dreams soon. 
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Day 5 and it was a close one. Managed to avoid barely but I think I might be past of the worst of it for a few more days at least but we’ll see. When I get past this point I can’t predict with as much certainty as I usually can.
Work was fine today, went for a run and did some slow push ups afterwards. Unfortunately only the run really helped me keep away as I work out at home. A part of me wants to work out so much to where I’m too tired to mess up but given that I stand and lift things a lot of the day I don’t want to hurt myself or become useless the next day.
But so far so good
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