Day 848. My Monday 
hahahaha. I switched shifts with a co worker so I can ease into my day. Slipknot of course was AMAZING and I got home very late because of the distance from the show. I hope everyone has a great day today and as always I’m proud of everyone here all the time! Love you guys a lot 
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Thanks honey 
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Congratulations to excellent sober 4 years! 
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Happy 2 months of sobriety!
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Ok thank you!
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Day 217.
The other night was a situation where everyone was drinking and smoking and having fun upstairs and I was crying alone downstairs. It was bad but well its today now.
I made scones which were very good. I sent some applications. I have an interview on monday for a dishwasher job i dont really want but is the same rate of pay i had. I meet my sister today.
More applications. Made a drs appointment. More of working on my own writing. I am here at the library to do cover letter.
My sister got me a chai and has been encouraging.
I have a potential solo client for painting some rooms. Which i havent done solo. I have to make an estimate! Buy some materials. Work out contracts and deposits. Im sure I can make it look good, but 
how do i organize this?
Rooting for you guys on this Saturday. Another sober day. Not easy but worth it.
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Wow! I hope you heal quickly. Its funny tho bcuz often we would think that nights is quieter at the hospital and i always found that when we needed to take my son to the hospital for any issues during the night, it was packed! Strange how that works lol anyway, i hope things improve for you quickly.
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Sounds like the other night was rough 
im glad u got thru it. It just isnt worth breaking ur recovery over it, so im glad u stayed strong 
Thats exciting about ur painting job! Good extra money there hope ur day is a good one!
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Wow! Huge HUGE congratulations! I love that u posted that pic! If only that leaf knew how special of a moment that was for you really proud of u!
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Day 44- got a new habit tracker app and I’m getting back on doing some things that were personal goals that make me a better more at peace person over all. Crazy how much of that you just let fall by the wayside sometimes.
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Fantastic! Well done you!
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Aaww thanks, so beautifully put. That pic could be a mirror of me then, although frozen, some drops of hope left.
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Sorry to read about you crying while others had fun. 
But I’m glad to read that s.th. is happening job wise. 
They are maybe full during the night, because all GP are closed. So it comes to one place, where everbody has to go to. 
Checking in @ 1010 days. AF. Nice binary number.
I’ve been working on “Waiting” and how it is a positive forceful action. And I got this reading today. I specifically thought of you Mike
@anon53116147
I thought I’d throw it out here and share it with you and anyone else that might be interested.
It’s from The Language Of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie
Have a great sober weekend y’all.
And remember, asking for help is and option. Not a weakness.
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Thanks for the text. It is perfect for a family member of mine.
I’ve bought already 2 books about slow living and I hope she is going to read them.
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Happy Birthday my friend.
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Morning Check In
Day 236
Gooood morning TS fam! Hope everyone is having a good day so far! Im feeling quite a bit better physically. Voice is still very hoarse tho. Im at work today. Google said that it can up 2 weeks for my voice to come back (not sure how true that is). But since I feel well in every other way, I decided to go to work.
Recovery wise… Im okay. Have been doing some thinking tho. Last night i had this memory pop up. It was one of my worst moments while in the problem (was probably close to say Nov or Dec 2021 or so). Anyway, for some odd reason my mind last night brought me back to that time. Ive come close to physical death in the past (have had a number of overdoses 10-20 years ago) but this moment was more of a mental breakdown. Id say I’m a fairly mentally strong person. Ive had to be honestly. Theres no choice. I can usually pull myself out of stuff pretty quickly but at that time last year, I knew I wasnt okay. It was scary. I truly dont believe that I would have had much time left on this earth if I wouldve kept going. I just felt it and it scared me. And i re-lived that moment and the things I constantly said to my loved ones about how “things will be different, I promise”. And then continuing to mess up, feeling sooo hopeless, soo trapped, like a failure. And then I thought about where I am today at almost 8 months effin clean! It humbles me completely and brings me to my knees in gratitude and thankfulness to my HP for saving me and grateful that I listened and did the work to get here. I never want to forget the shit ive been thru and what ive put others thru. I dont know why im remembering this all of a sudden. But i feel the urge to get stronger in my recovery. I feel strong in my recovery overall but I have had more than usual amounts of small urges the last little while. I need more recovery. More involvement. More transformation in my life. I know needing “more” is i guess generally addict thinking lol more, more, more lol but truly I do need more growth. I feel like im ready for it. Just not sure how i can get that. Any suggestions would he helpful!
Health wise… again not great. But this can change. Its not permanent. Once i feel 100% back to normal, I will get back on track. My plan is for this Tuesday. A new wiegh in, back to my healthy eating and exercising.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Day 2, so far so good
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51 days. When do things actually turn around? When do my failures stop being held against me? How long do I wait? When does this strong, stable, sober person become the person people care about instead of what I’ve done in the past?
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