That’s tough to see. I’m glad you are walking a different path.
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Day 4
At work. Feeling better today 
@Jasty2 Thank You, that worked well. Drinked some melatonin and other similar supplements.
@Its_me_Stella Thank You, I will check it out. I tried Headspace in past is that similar? When it comes to meditation I prefer Autogenic Trainings.
Update: Despite I feel much better today, I feel quite nervous. I can see now how constant using actually affects Non-Using day’s performance and overall nervous system. Every other day I would just wait my Cold “One” to shake off the dust afterwork or any other stresfull day.
Having problems with gearbox at work now so you can imagine how it looks like 
¿@#%#@@@!! 
I think little workout after work is what I need to put everything in place → 
→ 
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194 days 
Holy shit I’m sliding into a super crap anxious/depressive phase. I think it’s been triggered by stress with work and lack of sleep. But for well over a week I’ve been so anxious I can barely breath a lot, a few bad bouts of crying and just an overwhelming sense of dread.
I know I just need to chill out and meditate and calm myself down. I can’t switch off. I’m exercising a lot, I took a break this morning to try rest a bit before work so I wouldn’t be so run down. But it hasn’t really helped.
Anyone got any good book recommendations to chill out and keep my mind somewhere else?
I can see why I relapse out of nowhere. All these emotions just barrel me over and i can’t turn them off so I just try and numb them and get wasted to make it go away.
Sigh. Thanks for listening guys.
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Congratulations hope I get to that one day. Anyways maybe try reading the big book of A.A., or basic text of N.A. Alcohol is a drug so it mingles together lol. If you download the "everything A.A. app it’s pretty awesome. Oh and for shits and giggles say the serenity prayer as many times as you need too 
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Maybe try this on Sundays:
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Day 850. I went and saw the Lost Boys last night at my local movie theater. It was so cool to see it on the big screen again!!! I love going to the movies, it’s part of my self care routine. Anyway it’s Wednesday for me lol I hope everyone has a fantastic day, love you guys!!! 
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Thank you.
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day 17. Just checking in.
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Hey all, checking in on day 848. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 14. Made it through weekend number 2!
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I just want to say that I’m so fucking proud of you.
You are doing incredibly well despite all the shit life has thrown at you the last couple months. You are an inspiration. One of the strongest people I’ve ever met, truly.
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Thanks for sharing this helpfull experience! I had the same issues and to have a regular sleeping pattern really helped me. 
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Really proud of you, that you recognised your thoughts! FAB (“Fading Affect Bias, which is basically remembering the good about a situation or time period and readily forgetting the bad”) a really mean bitches.
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Glad to hear that you doing that good! 
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Thank you @RosaCanDo 
yes, I’ll stick around like a tick. Do love TS community although Im not that active anymore 
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Congratulations to two full sober weeks! 
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10138 days drug free
55 days post nicotine
Life has been a whirlwind lately. It’s less than three weeks to my trip with Honor Flight to Washington DC.
This coming Thursday we are leaving on an almost spur of the moment trip to Maine. My great granddaughter is now nine months old and her mother’s mother still hasn’t met her. So we are going to surprise her. We even have a plan on how to do it. She works at Walmart so I’m going to act like a lost grandma and tell her I’m supposed to meet my granddaughter by the diapers but I’ll be almost crying that I can’t find them, please take me there. And of course her daughter with the baby will be there. Lol
My health continues to be so-so. My lung health continues to improve thanks to quitting smoking. That helps improve my sleeping pattern which plays a part in my waking life improving. Funny how it all comes together.
I may not be posting or commenting much here but I still read. I still root for everyone. Things will settle down after the DC trip. Until then have a blessed day! 
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Awe Jan! What a beautiful post to wake up to! That was truly so nice of you to say 
its an amazing feeling to not have drugs be the 1st thought in my mind when life gets hard (or when its good even). Using isnt my go to and im beyond grateful for that. I also can say the same for u. Years ago i remember ur posts and from then to now, the change that has happened not only with ur recovery journey, but also within you as a person, is incredible!!! Im very honored to be on this journey with you Jan
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What is this?!?! Is there really a name for this?! This is the story of my addicted life lol one if the biggest reasons why i struggled back in the day was bcuz of this. My mind forgetting how bad it was and not being able to realize that this was all a lie. I had no idea there was an actual term for this haha but thank you its great being able to tell myself that the glorifying is a straight up lie. Playijg that tape to the end helps alot. Remembering why I quit. Remembering my powerless over drugs and askong for guidance from my HP. All these things help Hope you have a fantastic day!!
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Incredible!! 
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