Thank you for your encouragement. I hope you’re right. By this time tomorrow, we’ll know. And then it’s on to the next court deal in two weeks. I hate that one bad day has such a long lasting negative impact. I just want to get past it and move forward. I literally can’t control any of this shit, but I will control myself every day as I keep going.
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Sorry peeps, my bad.
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Day 5 no THC 
Very proud of myself. This is the longest I’ve gone since I started overusing 7 years ago. Mood swings that used to rule my every day have almost completely subsided and… I’m shook 
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Thank you for your comment. You’ve reminded me that I haven’t really spent much time being creative over the past few weeks as there is so much to do at the minute. It’s a bit late tonight and I’m in bed now but I will make time tomorrow. I also had a good sleep and have felt much lighter today 
thanks again
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Thank you for responding. I’m definitely making progress as I can see it in these moments. I would have spiralled into despair and then fought to block it out with substances. I was a bit worried about feeling so dark yesterday but it didn’t overwhelm me completely. I’m able to take it as it is, a bad moment. I had a good sleep and have felt positive today and did good work. But I must remember to have balance. It’s been mostly work and study for the past two weeks, I need some chill time as well. At least I know I can deal with this negativity in a reasonable way now. You’re right, it’s very painful and I will have these feelings again but being sober is helping me navigate them in a more kind and healthy way which is growth thanks again
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Good morning beautiful people.
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Day 122 Officially 4 whole months! What a buzz. Feeling better today than yesterday. Got a busy week for myself but must remember to take time for myself. I had 1 and a half hrs free this morning and had a nice bath and washed my hair (I hadn’t washed it in over a week, gross 
) so feeling fresh and nice and worked well after that.
The cost of living thing is taking the piss. I used to buy these little biodegradable bags for my compost caddy for tea bags and scraps of food. I went shop to get some earlier and they have gone up to £4.60 just to be thrown away I didn’t buy anymore. Shouldn’t laugh really but it’s better than crying. Grumble over.
Keep on keeping on x
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,537.
God Bless!
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Leaving rehab going to sober living Wednesday. Kind of nervous, but also ready for the next journey of sobriety
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Four months is going places lady! Big congrats and keep going!
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Yas! I’m going places, I can feel it 
Thank you 
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Congrats on the progress friend. A big step. A good step. One step at a time. Don’t go it alone. Wishing you all success in the next phase of your Recovery.
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1048 days without gaming
4 days without technology abuse
4 am I went to bed. 8 am I was supposed to get out. 9 am I was supposed to start work. Getting out at 9 am made that tricky 
I am mentally doing a lot better now than a few weeks ago. But I feel the stress from school creeping in. I’m way behind on everything. And the semester is close to ending.
I don’t want to say that I did my best. I had a few bad weeks where I barely did anything for school.
But for me, doing anything for school, is a lot of progress. I could’ve done more without crossing my limits, sure. But that does not mean I didn’t work my butt off. There have been many times I did homework past midnight. I have the right to be proud of myself.
And the circumstances I have had to deal with are insane! I have a full-time job where I consistently work overtime. When I started my new role, we had 9 teamleaders/specialists/department managers including me. Last week we had only 3 due to transfers, burnouts, illnesses and resignations. Yup, great work environment… I had to take care of two departments whilst not having access to administrative software. The schedules were, and still are fucked. I have to beg people to come work everyday on their day off because we consistently miss around 4-6 stockers. And this shit has been going on since I started my college course.
Not to forget that I was a stocker 6 months ago. I have not been trained properly. I’ve only worked at this store for a little over two years. Before that I worked at a different store from the same company for like 5 months.
Experience wise I’m not at all qualified. I have to manage people who’ve worked here longer than me. It’s completely unrealistic to expect a 19-year old to be able to pull that off.
And 6 months ago I wasn’t in school because I dropped out(I already had all diploma’s I wanted/needed). Now I have a college course and 15-20 hours of homework weekly. The college course is very unorganized because it’s our own responsibility to keep track of everything. That low-key kinda clashes with autism…
But my departments have not quite imploded yet and neither has my college course. It got me near burn-out, but I somehow was able to keep it all going just long enough.
Things are finally looking bright. We have a new assistant store manager since today. He’s level headed. He wants to teach me as much as possible. He’s organised. He’s experienced. And he is following the same course I am. But he’s a year ahead. So he can help me out immensely.
I can rest now. I did it.
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Hell yes! Congratulations on 4 months of sobriety!!!
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Evening Check in
Day 238
I didnt do a morning check in but i have been reading n replying here n there. I felt kind of aggitated this morning to be honest. Homecare issues (nurses for my sons awake overnight shift) are happening again. Homecare stuff gives me A LOT of anxiety and stress. Its probably THE biggest cause of my anxiety out of anything thats going on in my life. Theres many reasons why I struggle with staying awake all day and night, other than the obvious. I cant take my meds, Im mentally and physically exhausted, I plainly dont like being awake especially during certain hours, and it effects my ability to function well. Our part time nurse is taking 1 month vacation. This is totally fine of course as she deserves this, but the issue arises when theres absolutely no schedule emailed out to us or no communication with us at all from scheduling. Literally last night was the first time we heard of it and her vacation starts on Oct 16th. We have no clue who is covering her shifts or if there is even potential coverage. So I have sent an email for the scheduler for tmrw to find out more details. Im trying not to worry about me having to do the overnight shifts in case they do have coverage and then all of my time will have been wasted for absolutely nothing. Ill worry about it when it happens lol I caught myself get impatient and snappy with others today. So i prayed. Basically handing my worries n stress over to my HP and just asking for guidance in doing the next right thing. I ended up having a good night tho. My hubby made Thanksgiving supper. It was delicious 
Just relaxing with my boy now before his bed.
Recovery wise… I want to step this up so that Im feeling even stronger in my recovery.
Health wise… ill be back at the gym tmrw mrng. My son is home from school this week so if I want to workout, I’ll have to wake up at 515am. Thats early lol im going to try tho! That and getting back to my eating. That needs to get straightened out also lol
Really hoping everyone is having a great day/night in recovery! Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians!!!
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Hi @Alycia - I’m sorry about your anxiousness. You are at least succeeding through staying sober and exercising. Good for you! I hate anxiety and wish you peace. I’m fighting anxiety and depression right now. I must exercise like you. You are an inspiration!
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You may already know this technique, so if you do, thank you for your patience with me 
Have you tried the 5-4-3-2-1 sense grounding technique?
- 5 things you can see (literally anything: I see a tree, some grass, my fingernails, my glasses frames, and my shoes, for example)
- 4 things you can hear
- 3 things you can feel (like the texture of your clothing, for example, or pressure on the soles of your feet)
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
see-hear-feel-smell-taste
(You can do them in a different order of course; I just use this order because it’s easier for me to find 5 things I can see instead of 5 things I can taste )
The technique is intended to help you ground yourself in your body, so you don’t get sucked into the spiralling anxiety.
Take care and try to find someone you can reach out to, someone who can be a touchstone for you, an earth point, a grounding spot. Having those connections can help. Water helps too. Something about water (rivers, lakes, seas) calms us, drains us.
You’re a good person and you deserve a safe life where you can be your full, present self. 
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Checking in on day 486. Hope everyone is having a good start to the week.
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