Checking in. Day 81
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Day 200
Bought cigarettes and hate myself
Craving substances so bad. Not sure Iāll make it past new year to be honest 
Xx
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Whatās up Hayley?
200 days is HUGE!! CONGRATULATIONS!!
Youāve come so far. Have you heard of H. A. L. T. ?
Sometimes the littlest hung can trigger us and there can be a fix for it instead of our DOC.
Long Scalding hot showers with a good cry use to help me when I felt like using.
Hang in there with us.
Edit @Hayleylujah
Brian started a great thread about HALT.
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,614 sober and have been released from TS Jail. Luckily I didnāt drop the soapā¦The food was decent and I bummed a few Lucky Strikes from the warden.
Thanks
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Congratulations on your 200 days 
I think this time of year has been difficult for so many of us your not alone on this.
We have to keep doing the stuff we know that works.
It helped me to get through this bad time recently just to know that if I take it one day at a time that one of those days Iāll wake up feeling back to my better self.
I hope this passes quickly and you feel better soon, hang in there it will pass 
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Welcome back. Lol
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The view from the upper circle as the lights went down for the performance of An Edinburgh Christmas Carol. It has been a fine festive period so far although I have had a few sad spells.
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Day 179 check in.
Iāve had a super busy holiday week. And it has all been fairly good. Iāve struggled here and there. But you want to know whatās crazy? All I want right now is to go to my favorite detox center (that statement alone sounds insane) and just sleep for a couple of days with no expectations, no explanations. Just sleep. Doesnāt sound healthy at all. But thatās where Iām at. Luckily I have a therapy appt tomorrow morning.
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@Dazercat @Twizzlers
Thanks so much ! 
Iām lonely I guess and itās a difficult time of year.
Iāve been working all day to keep out of trouble. I didnāt go to a place where I couldāve got into trouble so still making good decisions 
I was nearly at 3 months no cigarettes and Iām so pissed at myself but I can stop again. Going to go out tomorrow and do something nice, get out of these four walls Might go watch a film or something Thanks again xx
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Happy Tuesday. Its been a while. Hope everyone is having an awesome holiday season.
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I agree. I got my nicotine patches, but keep smoking anyway; for some reason itās just more relieving than having a patch on. It doesnāt help that my neighbor Joe keeps giving me cigarettes, and I just donāt have the willpower to say no. 
Day 2
Had my visit with Brian at 1pm. Hope he doesnāt get in trouble for visiting on his day off. Much as I love talking to him, he has little of practical value to tell me.
āYouāre a great guy, Markā
āI know Brian. But thatās not the problem. I might be losing my apartment.ā
āI know what you mean, I might be losing my job.ā
āYouāve been there 12 years, theyāre not going to fire you if it takes more time to learn the new computer system.ā
ā¦and so on. Still, it was good to get out of the house and talk to someone. Not quite as stressed as I was earlier. I stopped at the grocery on the way home to get some things to eat healthier. I think that bag of salad mix is actually cole slaw mix. Iām not used to this. Any suggestions for a better diet?
Anyway, everybody have a great sober night. 
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If you need a chill, Iām listening to this podcast, it is sublime. Only on bbc sounds, I think but he may have a you tube out there
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53 days sober
Had a good day
Stay strong everyone
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Can you go watch some Ryan Gosling movies to cheer yourself up?
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Day 25
Been feeling like crap the last few days. Just pushing alongā¦ I know itās a process and Iām not going to erase all the damage from abuse in a monthā¦ thatās ridiculous 
Definitely still healing from my health issues AND alcohol abuse as well. Expect PAWS symptoms and my Body/mind to really start coming back through the next year or so. That was my experience last time I broke free. Work is going really good I was blessed to find this place first go and very thankful. Gym is going really good and Iām getting into my strict diet and routine habits nicely. Work, eat, sleep, healing, gym, rebuild my life, stay sober. All I have planned for 2023. Quitting the nicotine now didnāt fly I think Iāll push that off for a bit longer. Cleaning the house now and then Iāll do my night routines and goto bed. Hope everyoneās keeping up the fight.
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I get that same wayā¦ for me going to the gym every night is a must. It takes it away for me or else I just battle myself 
I hear ya.
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Checking in day 11. Almost done work for the day. The 16 hour days just fuckin kill me anymore. I only have to do a few a week till the weather starts to settle around March, but these couple of months just seem to beat me down anymore. We havenāt had any real major winter storms yet so I guess Iāll count my blessings. Sorry Iām just venting at this point cause Iām tired and getting cranky. . Iāll go home shower and grab a few hours sleep. Tomorrows a shorter day so Iāll make time for something I actually want to do, with people I actually want to spend my time with. Have a great day/night people.
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Day 35 
not been missed a few days been in hospital with another acute flare up
Hope everyone had a good Christmas
Binge watching the Simpsons on Disney anything to help take my mind off the pain
Have a good sober Wednesday all
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tonight will be day 301 of no self harm.
itās been going pretty rough. I am getting increasingly anxious as new years approaches. I didnāt want to sleep last night I was in a genuine state of fear just remembering so many bad things. it took a couple hours but my best friend convinced me to go to sleep. occasionally Iāll fall asleep with him on the phone and he will talk to me while Iām asleep which helps calm me down during nightmares and I sleep a lot better so we did that last night. even with that I probably slept two or three hours and then I woke up and tossed and turned the rest of the night. went back to work today, I missed the kids a lot and Iām glad to see them Iām just very overwhelmed and it was a lot.
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Evening Check In
Day 317
So i just cried to one of the nurses. As soon as she asked me how i was doing?.. well the waterworks started. Why is that when a person asks me how im doing during a stressful event, i bawl? Lol Anyway, it felt good to let some stuff out.
I seriously dont know how long we will be here. It certainly takes as long as it takes for my son to get well. Not going to rush it. But financially this is taking a toll too. My husband tries to bring what he can but to live here is incredibly expensive. I try to ration my food to an extent so that im not spending a fortune at the cafeteria here.
Anyway, its almost time to get some rest so ill try to do that tonight. Hope everyone is having an addiction free evening!
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