Evening check in
Day 445
Today was okay. No complaints here lol. Exercised for an hour at 6am. Went to the store with my son to grab him some summer clothes, a pair of sandals, and toys. Then relaxed here at home for the rest of the day.
Feeling weird about my eating tho. Basically i track everything i put into my body (which is fine… i need to do that so that i can focus on portion control) but lately… ive been eating a healthy amount of calories per day (well within my daily goal), but in my mind i feel like im eating too much still. Not sure what thats about. I always double check my app to make sure things are accurate when i track my food. So ill focus on how my body feels and try to ignore my mind lol i am striving for health and to feel good overall.
Recovery wise im good. No cravings or urges today. Just hoping for a good rest tonight. I DID NOT do my recovery routine this morning tho. Which isnt good. So will make sure to do that tmrw.
Hope everyone has a good day/night!
I’m glad to hear that today was a better day for you. Don’t let your mind mess with you. If you are eating healthily and taking care of yourself - then that’s all that matters. Do remember sometimes we do need more calories in a day if we are working out more than normal and then sometimes the opposite is true. But when you get a routine down (can skip a day or two here and there without guilt) then you are setting the foundation for a healthy lifestyle.
I do love that you are focusing on how your body feels and ignoring the mind - that’s awesome!
Thank u sooo much for ur input. It feels good to hear that from someone also. I have had a very toxic relationship with food for the majority of my life. So im trying to focus on how i feel in my body more and ignore my mind lol Cuz my mind isnt always focused on the same goals that are good for me lol hope ur doing well today friend 
Last day of vakay. Im exhausted! Drove like 4.5hrs south to phoenix. Sat by the pool for a bit. This is my first time at a hotel with a big bar in the lobby since getting sober. I know @Dazercat can relate
6 days AF. When I read this thread I hear so much courage and strength!
@KarenKW im so sorry you’re struggling. I’ve been told that an extreme temperature change like splashing cold water on your face can help alleviate anxiety. Also deep breathing and meditations specifically made for severe anxiety. I also tell myself “it feels like I’m dying but I’m actually fine” over and over again. Sending 
Yep. Youre absolutely right. They say its worse than being shot, stabbed, kidney stones, and natural child birth… ive been dealing with these for 14 years. Cluster headaches is the technical term, suicide headaches are a nickname due to the percentage of sufferes who actually commit suicide due to the pain.
They are absolutely the worst. Ive prayed to god asking him to trade my condition for an arm or a leg become i would do it in a heart beat to never have another attack again… i hate it so much. The anxiety that comes with it gets pretty bad as well just anticipating the next attack. Thanks for the support though… i refuse to let this condition beat me though, i will continue to fight
Checking in with 65 days AF. Nice day today after an average cruddy night’s sleep. Played golf in some drizzle, and did not go to an early “Cinco de Mayo” lunch afterwards. So, no need to not have margaritas. Then a nice gentle hike - through a small slot canyon and along the beach.
Did not go to dinner afterwards so no need to not have wine.
Take care all!
Day 41427
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
The scaffolding finally got taken away from the front of my place yay! So I have my unobstructed view back. We also had our first 20°C day, the swifts returned for their short nesting season, and the buds are budding on the honey locusts in my little square (they’re always late). Soon it will be a green jungle out there.
Big sigh of relief. The long wait for spring really took a toll on my mental state. I felt captivated, frozen, just like nature really. Hoping I can make some more progress now. Working on it too because I’l have to make it happen myself.
So off to my Friday therapy I go. Together with my therapist I decided to separate individual therapy and group therapy to different days. Two therapies in one day is too much for me. I often felt exhausted before starting my afternoon group session because of the individual stuff I’d done in the morning.
It’s Freedom Day, the day the Nazi army in The Netherlands capitulated in 1945. I might visit the Amsterdam Freedom festival later today although there’s some T-storms predicted. Will see. I sure as hell won’t be drinking, here or there or anywhere. Nothing good would happen in my life if I did. Never again. Freedom from addiction is the best. X
Day 216
Yesterday I got tired around sunset and I finally went to bed early.
I often get tired at that time but I never did really listen to my body. Slept like a baby, no crazy dreams. Am I rested this morning? No 
I’m still tired.
The Yoga Nidra helps calming down. It’s better than anything I’ve ever listened to like hypnosis or else to help me unwind and fall asleep.
Today crazy day at work again, the special examinations we all “love” and then finally weekend.
Still no cravings, that’s awesome 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Day 34. Pretty unremarkable day. Just how I like them these days. Nothing wrong with holding steady. 
For the love of god…14 years!! I am so sorry that you have to to experience this pain for so long. I cant even imagine any of it (the pain, how you cope or function, dealing with the anxiety of next episode).
You are so strong and have such a great attitude. Your new clean healthy lifestyle may heal your body - heres hoping that you get some relief soon from these cluster headaches.
Sending you comforting hugs
Checking in sober got another AA meeting tonight still looking for a sponsor and a home group hope everyone is well
362, checking in.
Good morning my sober friends, I hope today is a good / better day for you all. 
I’m day 13 +10.5hrs alcohol free…
Big stress at the moment, my eldest son has to have a lump on one of his testes biopsied. We haven’t had a time / day for this yet, and I’m sick with worry. I’m not showing it to him though, just trying to comfort and support him.
God, if there was ever a test on my sobriety, this is it. I’m holding firm though 
Stay strong everyone, much love and big hugs
Day 111.
I like this number. It’s cool.
So, I just about managed to pull off this week, but I’m stuck with this constant feeling of dread and impending doom. Is this normal? I’m constantly on edge and worry that everything I’ve worked for will just completely fall apart. Like, they will finally figure out what a fraud I really am and kick me to the curb. Then I’ll be back where I started. I feel like I’m about to fail at… well, everything.
Anxiety sucks. I miss my depression.
#Day 1680 
It’s so good to warm up in the sun. I missed that feeling.
Yesterday we made a boattrip to a village with a castle.
Today? Chilling by the pool just some reading to do
Greeting from Spain
For me, anxiety and depression are like two sides of the same coin. Hope you feel more balanced soon.
1710 days
Struggling to cut weight since i have had chronic back pain since i was around 17yo. Weight lifting isnt exactly easy. Really hurting today
Also doesnt help i have an issue with some of my metabolism.
Not sure why, maybe its just fond memories, but im just a few months away from 5 years of sobriety and scotch whiskey sounds good. But then, i look at the price. Then i factor all the risks into buying some. The biggest thing stopping me? Ive come so far
I’m afraid of just being like “ah sweet i got 5 years…well, good enough” and then fall right back