Big hugs @Misokatsu … I see your strengths and lots of them. It’s easy to feel like you wish it was you that had the degree which would make a difference professionally. Who knows, maybe it is within your reach at some point in time. In the meantime don’t feel inferior about it.
Do you have summer free time during the summer?
Big hugs.
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@SoberWalker Somehow, my addiction and marriage problems make her seem even more amazing, she drinks moderately and enjoyably and seems to take no shit from her husband. Maybe she snores really loud or something. (Oh no, that is me, too 
)
@Alisa Honestly, I don’t think I want a phd, I just don’t know where she gets the bloody time. This summer I will go back to the UK for three weeks. A good point about that, I did reach out to old friends, I was putting it off because we had lost touch, was sure they wouldn’t really be bothered about meeting, but all replied quickly and seemed excited. I just hope I am not too awkward when we actually meet.
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Ha ha, maybe she snores…as you do 
But she carries her own “shit” as well. As well as everybody else. Don’t let it make you insecure about yourself!
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Thanks Jazzy. You and a couple of others here are the backbone of this thread. You reach out to so many of us every day, and it is very much appreciated. I dont know how you keep on top of it all. A million thank yous!
To celebrate 4 weeks Ive ordered new tyres for the bicycle, to go mountain biking…there is a track nearby that I didnt even know about. Im trying to get my partner out of the house, as he used to love doing stuff like that. Personally I prefer to paint and embroider, but I doubt i could lure him away from drink and drugs with that, and to be fair I kind of like mountain biking too 
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Thanks Jazzy. You and a couple of others here are the backbone of this thread. You reach out to so many of us every day, and it is very much appreciated. I dont know how you keep on top of it all. A million thank yous!
I’ve been thinking this too. You are so lovely @JazzyS to everyone, you always remember what people have been doing and where they’re up to in their recovery.
You would be an amazing counsellor or therapist!
Thanks for being here 
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These are the milestone chips you get in Alcoholics Anonomous. One for every month up to a year and then yearlys.
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Day 243
Thank God it’s Thursday, I just want this week to end. Our patients are so bitchy atm holy cow. And not only here in our office 
I was shopping for new pants and shoes this week and I was shocked how dirty the shops looked.
They’ve always been clean, there has always been someone around you could ask for help. Now? Nobody in sight.
Customers throw clothes on the floor and don’t pick it up, they behave awful.
They don’t even wait at the cashier until I put everything away they just throw their clothes on the counter. No sorry, nothing.
That’s so sad.
I’ll buy everything I need online now again.
Besides that everything is good, I’m more relaxed now. Had a nice chat this morning with the guy I met and we’ll chat again this evening.
He was busy the whole day yesterday and he’s not the kind of person who has his cellphone around all the time.
Okay, lunch break is over. See you later 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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That’s cool!
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Ah man Marc love the hobies and yes mountain biking would be a great and exhilarating experience for you both!!! Im excited for you - take pics of your new path and post on nature trail so we can celebrate your 30 days with you 
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Day 199
Damn, my wife got annoyed at me this morning. The PTSD makes me see people as constantly annoyed, not to be trusted and likely having an agenda.
In the past I would have had no self awareness about this and would be convinced my wife was always angry and it would never pass. But I’m doing better. Sober is all part of that.
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Thank you my friend- i think its 30 years in customer service that helps me remember whos who and individual stories 
I am grateful to be here on this journey with you all!
so much amazing support all around on this site.
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Checking in for the first time to geht rid of my Addiction to pornography.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,082. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day One for me… after a hideous fight with my partner last night. I was in the wrong and even got physical with him which is very scary and something that only happens when I’m drunk, not an excuse I know so today I am feeling so full of shame and regret that my alcoholism has reduced me to behaving like that, losing control, not remembering things… I am determined this time to stop drinking. I haven’t had a day sober in years so I’m daunted by the challenge. But as I’m totally at rock bottom I can’t see it getting worse. Reading posts on here is comforting to know I’m not alone but I’m terrified if I’m honest 
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Take it one day at a time. Hell one hour at a time. Try not to worry about the future but only to rest your sober head on your pillow tonight
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Well waking up day 8 had a nice little beautiful morning facetime with my girls my babies are my world and I just hope I can be their hero for the rest of there life. I was thinking last night and I can’t tell you how many times I go back and forth between the confusion on what to do, attend college stay here in Plattsburgh and be a little uncomfortable and uncertain…or go back to Tupper where it’s also clearly not good for me, not much for job opportunities and really the only thing I could probably land is construction which I do not EXEL at or maybe flipping burgers at McDonald’s which I know I also do not want to do but being in my home town will provide comfort which I think would be bad bc I would maybe become complacent I’m sure I’ll think about this the rest of the time I’m here. Anyways I’m on orientation status so i can’t leave the house for my safety and the houses safety and it’s getting a littlen boring being stuck in my room. I suppose I could use the time wisely for reading or learning something towards school possibly but I tend to get sucked into not doing that. Which kind of falls in complacency anyways. Yeah idk I’m definitely having a bit of a hard time. Grateful gotta be grateful im alive I’m here I’m sober… @Soberbilly I appreciate your reply sir, I do agree in a sense and my counselor actually said the same thing that this was just a slip, but we both still agreed on resetting because I ignored the signs for a while and well the dishonesty that I was planning on not saying anything if I wouldn’t of got caught. It would of ate me I’m sure had I not got caught and I probably would of came clean eventually. But yeah and just the fact if I say ehhh it was just a slip I’ll keep my days it might make me think I can do it again and just keep my days again. So I’m gonna stay accountable start over and just try my ass off to get it this time. Definitely need to put in some more work. Not denying that, much love have a good day everyone
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I know the feeling of totally changing personality when drunk. I could be very angry and immoral, also very miserable and self-destructive.
Rock bottom is the place many people grow from. What have you tried so far? Read any quit lit? Joined any programs? AA was not for me, but I owe it my sanity and life. And there are other programs to try.
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What are you planning on studying in college again? There are lots of very cheap courses on Udemy, you could start some preparation study. It might at least get you back in the studying groove.
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I haven’t tried anything yet… just determined to not drink today even though usually I’d drink ten times more when I’m down and my relationship is in tatters. I know I need more than willpower, or I would’ve stopped drinking years ago and not caused so much damage. I know it’s not advised but I’m driving myself crazy over my relationship, scared I’ve lost him for good, he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. We’re supposed to be going on holiday with our 2 kids in 2 weeks time and he’s saying he won’t go if I go… what a fkn mess. I’m not looking after myself today at all, sitting around on my phone, dehydrated not eating chain smoking… I want to pick myself up and try to be strong and positive but I feel like I’ve lost everything.
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Hey, human resources. Hopefully to become a counselor. Or I was possibly teatoring towards lpn I was a c.n.a for 7 years so I know a bit about that field to
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