Indeed, willpower doesn’t work. Live for your family doesn’t work. My first attempt at a program I did this
Videos and homeworks for a month. I learnt a lot about the mechanisms of alcohol and addiction. I knew alcohol was bad, but it really solidified it for me.
Hey, Mike! Those sound like really good fields of study. One observation. . . I believe it took you leaving your home town to get sober? Also, it sounds like your gut is telling you not to go back? I trust my intuition/gut so much more now that I’m in recovery like you are. Pay heed, be still, listen, be patient is what I’ve been doing, even though it can be frustrating. Those gut feelings in recovery are absolute gifts. Might be hard to act on them right away, or see how things unfold, but to dismiss the gut feeling usually is not the right call.
Thank you, Paul. I am absolutely killing it this time around. I haven’t shared a whole lot l
during this stretch. But I’ve not been giving myself permission to dwell on my DOC; refusing to look at or think on those things in which my subconscious can grab a hold of and indulge. So I’m no longer in unstable equilibrium craving all the time. Stable… that’s the word. I feel more stable in my mind this time. I have a strong feeling that this is going to be my year.
Sometimes, no matter what, it’s going to take time for me to figure out a path that works. Over the years, the decades, I’ve worked and worked and worked on trying to break free from my addiction to porn. I’ve learned so much about myself. So much, that I understand that it would have been impossible for me to get sober and stay sober from day one. And God has been very faithful. How I never managed to just give up over the years. That must have been God’s work. I’m glad that people like you have stuck around to witness the miracle that God has been performing in my life.
Oh my I am sorry for depression . 
Thank you for this. I have signed up and downloaded the app
Hey guys checking in. Off today and tomorrow, and it’s beautiful out so I’ll be most of the day, trying to get yard and house stuff done. Gotta first drop the bike off at the shop because the back brake light is stuck on and I’m done trying to fix it myself. Wife’s gonna follow me in the car than we’re gonna go to breakfast, she’s off today too. I decided to give AA a real shot this time and leave everything I think I know about it at the door. I really like smart recovery but the meetings are like an hour away and only once a week, I need more of a stable program. I’ll probably still try and fit some aspects of it in there too though. I went to a newcomer meeting last night, the people were great, they always seem to be great, and they gave me my first big book, and a 12 tradition book. Those meetings are a lot closer and I it seems like all times of day, so I’ll bop around a bit and see where I land. Still sober ODAAT though. Have a great day. Love y’all. 
Checking in…day 116…busy busy busy…ODAAT!!!
@XXIX so sorry love- I do hope this passes. Possibly use your new app and go outside to look up crazy insects and beautiful flowers (it may lighten your heart)
@Aaronsoberjourney welcome to the community Aaron. Wishing you the best in your journey – this is a great community to be a part of. Hope to see you around
@Misokatsu I have to agree with others that you should not look at this teacher in awe. We have no idea of what is going on with anyone. You my friend have so much on your plate and your emotions ae all over the place. I do hope that you find time to breathe, center yourself and see the strong beautiful woman that you are – kicking ass all day every day!
What’s causing you to feel this? Sending you love and hugs my friend… You are amazing! 
@Sabrina80 I feel your frustration with dealing with lack of service or impatience when out shopping. Ever since covid this has gotten so bad – no one wants to work and society I feel was so isolated that some forgot how to be human.
AAAH h- see , nothing to be worried about. Glad you had not stressed over this yesterday 
@GreenGirl Welcome to day 1 love. I’m sorry that the situation you are in is so uncomfortable and terrifying. This is a beautiful community with loads of support / advice and great for distraction. Do also look into in person or on line meetings as we do need support with breaking free of our addictions. No matter how strong our will is we can not do this alone. Keep posting here daily or more if needed to keep accountability and gain support. Thank you @Misokatsu – I will also try “This Naked Mind”. Every little bit helps us on our journey. Don’t focus on the upcoming trip – focus on your recovery. Your actions will shine through and possibly mend some of hurt feelings. ODAAT!
@Billy85 so good to see you my friend - have a wonderful day
Checking in Thursday morning
Another rough night – I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open but it’s a beautiful day so here goes nothing I am going to take it slow and steady. I have to conserve my energy for the hectic weekend ahead. Still sober (i did have many urges last night but luckily i was cozy in bed and the warmth was more important). We are so much stronger than our addictions! sending much love
Checking in day 270! My moods been starting to pick up, hoping that continues. Really trying to focus on being present and do things to take care of myself. Had more dips in mood the past couple months than usual- feeling a little stagnant in therapy. Going to bring that up and hopefully we can adjust, or I can find another therapist.
Working today and then dinner with a friend later, which should be good. Wishing you all a wonderful sober Thursday 
Exactly this! I sometimes feel like an Alien because folks behaves so strange and forgot kindness 
Checking in
Day 473
Havent been feeling well physically for a few days. I seem to have caught what my son had. I hadnt posted on here during that time and hadnt done anything recovery related at all. Not a good idea honestly bcuz i felt it mentally. Im grateful for @JazzyS for sending me a quick message to just see how i was doing. And that message made me realize how much i need TS. As much as i sometimes think i need a break from whatever it is i think i need a break from, its not good for my recovery. Im not at risk for relapse but my mental health suffers. It literally takes 10 sec to do a short check in with my clean time, to stay connected on here. Theres no excuse for me to not check in imo. Im still not feeling 100% but im getting up and doing a few things today. My son is at school so i have some time for myself. I DID pray this morning so thats a start. Hope everyone has a fabulous day today
Hope you feel better soon. Checking in day 25
Day 21
3 full weeks sober
I’m so greatful to be here
I kind of slipped and would like to fess up
I’ve been taking non thc CBD capsules
I’m going to stop right now because I feel like it’s just on the edge of good and bad
I don’t count this as a relaps but it’s definitely on the edge for me
Day 21 sober
Off to work
More later
I’m glad you’re back.
It’s been a privelige for me to witness it plus where else am I going to go. Too many people like yourself on here kept me sober over the years for me to just up and run.
Checking in on end of day 4. Good night
Celebrating day 237
Check in. Day 11 chronic MJ user past 8 years. Am one of those ppl who got hooked on the ganja. Haven’t made it past two weeks before so I’m struggling right now. Hoping accountability might help this time. 
It amazes me how many of my relapses were within a week shy of a milestone. It’s like this self-hating subconscious part of me wants to spring out and sabotage all that I’ve worked hard for.
I’m learning to be extra vigilant during these times.
You’ve seen me relapse a lot. Relapses suck. But they are God’s way of telling me that there is more to learn; more that He’s trying to teach me.
I’m so glad you’re here and not giving up. I see lots of hope for you.
Welcome. Glad you’re here