Gosh I just love this photo! Beautiful moment you captured.
#Day 1717
Stressful day yesterday. I had the day off and used it to get difficult things doneâŚ
Like phoning customerservice from postoffice because they lost my parcel. Had to wait for more then 1 hour to get someone in real to speak on the phone. And everyone in this disaster pinpointed to the other party as cause of this loss. Such phonecalls draine me outâŚ
So I made 2 walks to get the stress out of my head. It always (well almost always ) work.
Today? Work and tonight goldsmith class.
Picture from my âevery day treeâ. When I walk by I make a picture of it. I have many by now in all kind of seasons. Itâs fun!
Letâs add another day sober shall we? We can do another!
Checking in sober
Probably three and a half years ago, a typhoon hit as they tend to do in Japan, and my train home from work was cancelled, and I was not sure when the next would be. This sucks! I thought, and decided a hard lemonade would speed up time til they started again. I phoned my husband that they had stopped and he would pick up the kids. One drink turned to two, and the trains started running again, but fewer, so they were crowded and I used that as an excuse to drink a couple more while I waited. I finally thought my husband would check the news that trains were running again, and got one more drink, which I âhidâ in a convenience store bag and sipped standing in a super crowded train. After 5 or so cans of hard lemonade I was pretty buzzed. I am sure I hated going home because I wanted to keep drinking. I canât remember if husband said anything or pretended not to notice.
Anyway, Iâm waiting for stopped trains to start because of another typhoon. But this time I wonât be wasting money on train station convenience store alcohol prices. The next train here Iâll push my way on to get home to the kids as soon as I can. I wonât have to worry about people noticing an alcoholic smell, because Iâm drinking water and eating mints. I donât have any fear of being found out or shame or angry rationalizing that âalcohol isnât illegal, I can drink it if I wantâ. I will just head home peacefully like a regular person.
Day 4 being clean from self-harm.
Ahh, I love my bed, itâs so comfy. I wish I was sleeping my whoooole life in my lovely bed! But I have work to do, so today I will work on projects.
Also this is my first day where I donât think of that I should harm myself⌠This is already progress for me. I feel this is gonna be fine day after these dark days I had this week.
Funnily enough, I didnât read it but I listened to the audio book recently after my Dr recommended it. I found it helpful in parts but I also found reference to other types of trauma quite harrowing. So it was enlightening for me, reaffirming and also a bit scary!
200 days. Woo Hoo!
I quit last May originally so it should be a year. But I went to London on my own last Sept for my daughterâs graduation and over dinner with other people who didnât really know just how much I wasnât drinking, I slipped. Then I stopped again, and last Oct went on holiday to Greece and slipped again.
So I celebrate 200 days with a stronger resolve. I really didnât enjoy either of the times I drank again. This 200 days really feels permanent. I donât feel that temptation anymore. But I wonât get careless!
Iâve lost weight, feel fitter, and although I was a runner anyway it all feels easier now. I ran 10 miles yesterday like it was a walk in the park. Thatâs down to being sober.
Awww thank you so much
okay, so⌠I started to work on project and I checked messages so I can peacefully work without feeling I didnât reply to someone. And there was message from my ex partner, which wrote this:
âYou have been unblocked please do not msg me ever again and I apologize for my past crimes you have been redeemed for I have found someone worse then youâ
Iâm right now feeling a lot mixed feelings⌠Like, okay? But I donât care about his apologies to me anymore, he hurted me a lot, which is long story (maybe I will tell it some day, but not now). I donât know, this just seems weird.
I will now try to meditate so I can calm down and then start work.
Just endless ruminating that could be done about that I think purposefully provocative message. Use your time to focus on you and your recovery and life.
I hope you can calm down, and have a good day at work.
I talked about this with my boyfriend and he said it seems like provocative message, exactly what you said.
Now I meditated and I feel better, especially after saying my feelings about this to my boyfriend.
And thank you!
Is good that you thought and spoke about the situation with Somone. Thatâs the best part of our journey
Check in day 2
Thanks Billy - this is a great community and just trying to give back what ive received.
This truly is everyones individually journey and i totally respect where each person comes from in making their decisions. This is a tough road and we all have to be true to ourselves. When we start playing ganes with our minds thats when the adduct brain gets stronger.
I have seen so many in this past week alone struggling with how they should count days of sobriety or possibly just rely on progress.
I just felt that personally cbd is more a gateway rather than a slip. I could be alone in this thinking. I definitely did not mean to undermine anyones individual thought process.
Btw- 1 year 1 month 1 week
Hey all, checking in on day 1,083. I hope everybody has a good one!
Congrats on 1 month sober. Hope you heal up 100% soon
Exactly.
Itâs so strange to talk with someone about feelings, no matter which⌠But also that feeling after, itâs so amazing.
My boyfriend is like my home, where I share everything and Iâm not ashamed of it. Same as well he sees me.
Well now you have the option of blocking him. Keep moving forward, you are on the rught path.
Nearly 20 days!! Been tired lots of psychiatrist appointments, drs etc buy good news i will now have psychology appointments as well as my psychiatrist for my meds to manage bi polar, so happy but a looooong slog, nice and sunny here have a wonderful sober weekend everyone