Listen to your heart friend. Your heart knew. Still I understand you did go. Hug your dogs. I hug you all, human and canine. You’re not alone. X
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I. 1997 Hi everyone!!! It’s been awhile. I still wake up everyday and choose my sobriety over anything. This last year has been one of the hardest…but, honestly I’ve been through worse. Almost 2 years ago I purchased my first home and you all were here and so proud and supportive. As of now I am putting up it up for sale sadly 
. My health has declined so much that I had to move home to my parents for support. I resigned from my dream job in May. Every day is a constant battle to just get out of bed. I started infusions this week so hoping for good results. I have faith that my health will get better. I am excited to reconnect with everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
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Thank you a lot.
Next time I will take care of myself. I promise to myself and you.
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CONGRATS on your 30 days and do not apologize for not getting to the check in’s or the individual messages… 1st and foremost concern is your sobriety and mental health. The good wishes do go into the universe and I do hope they will help you even without reading.
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Hi Patty
I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through – it feels like chapters from my book. I do hope that resigning and moving back in with your parents will give your body and mind time to heal. This will not be easy (as i’m sure you are aware) and it will take time - i’m still working through it myself but have faith that we will get better.
Good to see you here - hope to see you more active in the threads! Have yourself a wonderful weekend as well… sending you comfort. Do know that you are not alone. We are stronger together. 
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@sabrina80 Babe I’m sorry that you are having to work under these conditions. I do hope that it gets easier for you.
Nastya_is_fighting I am thrilled for your decision to not putting yourself in situations that will drain you any further. Take care of yourself and do know that your classmates / ex gf have whatever notions about you but you are an amazing caring and creative human. You are in no way problematic or a weirdo. Just read your update – it’s ok, I know you were conflicted and sorry that going to the event caused you such anguish. Hug yourself from all of us and know that these people do not deserve you. A new group is exactly what you need – for now you have your boyfriend and your dogs (that is a great group)
@amy30 totally understand that (grateful for the lounge thread) – hope you are feeling better today. YOU my friend are cool! Yeah to such support from your husband and keep continuing on your recovery path
@bingofuel You are doing so well – Acknowledge your triggers and keep focused on your sobriety – You are stronger than your addiction my friend. Loads of strength your way
@deeelzebub so happy for your fruitful appointment. Glad you feel comfortable with the nurse and student. Wishing you a healthy recovery and sending hugs.
Checking in on Friday afternoon… Hope everyone is enjoying their day
I am super itchy and pain and numbness a bit annoying but did get out of the house today. Was able to return my new prescription sunglasses as they were super bulky and unflattering and have a new pair on order. My throat feels raw and nasty like i’ve been smoking (without the ashtray taste) - not sure where this is coming from and a very good reminder why i don’t smoke anymore.
Have a great start to your weekends… sending much love
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It’s really good to see you Patty. Sorry for your bad health. Hope things will improve for you. Glad to have you back here!
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Holy shit…i should be working but im about to book a trip with a travel agent to coasta rica. I feel its kinda impulsive but ive been thinking about this for years and just got the pto from work approved! Holy shit shits getting real?!
I NEVER would have the $$$ to travel like this if i were deep in the pit of despair and active addiction
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Yay! You deserve it! (Can I come too?)
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Way to go CJ.
Never been.
But I’ve heard it’s supposed to be one of the most wonderful places to visit in the world.
So exciting for you.
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day 478 of no self harm
i wish I had a way to make myself check in here every day. I set alarms and then I ignore them.
Wednesday was my birthday I turned 21. i went to a casino with my grandpa and parents. gambling is not for me. i don’t find it all that fun but winning is still nice. it’s just incredibly boring to me if you’re not winning. also I hate wasting money and getting nothing out of it. at least with my dumb Amazon purchases I get something lol. i did have a really good time with my grandpa though.
i started with $200, spent about $150 and then last minute won over $100 at once and ended up leaving with $250. having a party with the rest of my family though.
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thank you
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Thank you all of you and to @Mno @Alisa @Dazercat @JazzyS and everyone thank you so much.
What a day ! @Dazercat The garden wall … part of it fell down today 
I do wonder what is next 
I did manage to get everything else kind of back to normal out there.
Tomorrow morning will be enough time to sort it.
Have had some strong cravings, different type though, they are intense and deeply thought out but only last less than minute and my mind goes back to its new normal way of problem solving. Which is very positive.
It is 12:20am. I still haven’t caught up on here as had surveyors all day today for the wall. But wanted to update and keep communication going. I feel IV isolated myself a bit. Which is fine as I recognise it.
I am okay, amongst all the daily struggle is a strong woman in me, I know I have came so far so I can get though this.
We all are, we aren’t alone with our sobriety and daily life struggles. I’m so grateful for you all.
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@nastya_is_fighting trust your heart re the school party 🩵 congrats on being accepted 
so sorry how you were made to feel today, you definitely do not need those people in your life who will make you feel so sad
@Amy30 I hope you’re feeling less fucky by now, sending strength, an extra therapy session sounds like a great way to handle it 🩵
@ArtMama congrats on 4 months
@Dee19 congrats on your week belated happy sober birthday 
@Rockstar24777 I’m so pleased you’re getting extra support 🩵
@Brian1965uk enjoy Scotland 
@Alycia congrats on 450 days
@Dan531 belated happy birthday
@Twizzlers sorry you’ll have to move out of your safe space for a while, but yes, it’s good that you will return to an even safer space and sunnier garden 🩵
@zzz congrats on 2 weeks
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I haven’t checked in for awhile. Celebrating day 259
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@BingoFuel welcome sending strength 🩵
@anon53116147 congrats on 30 days
@Kelwooo congrats on 40 days
@Complicatedmama I’m so pleased to see you checking-in, welcome back I’m really sorry about your health decline though, but glad you’ve got family support 🩵
@Cjp that sounds amazing! 
@SadMemeQueen belated happy birthday
1047 days no alcohol.
512 days no cocaine.
27 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Yesterday, I was awake from 5am-7:11am but needed my usual meds nap after that so I set an alarm for 8am (dentist appt 9:30)…Next thing I woke up and it was 10am! I was so angry at myself for missing my dentist appt that I’ve waited 3 months for, and they couldn’t get me in again until the 3rd of October. Ugh nvm though, the time will pass.
When I went to do my morning meditation, I realised why I didn’t wake for my alarm, my volume was turned all the way down on my phone. 
I did my morning routine and walk, and spent some time reading here. I also played Pokémon Go on my phone, completing missions.
TW: mentions food, binge-eating, disorded eating.
Then…The ice cream van came, and I didn’t resist, even though it wasn’t the usual ice cream van that I was actually craving…5mins later, the usual one came, and I didn’t resist either, so I see that as a binge. That was at 5:30pm yesterday. Then, instead of going to bed like I should have done, addict me decided that since I was resetting my counter, I
may as well go and buy crisps, so I walked all the way to the shopping centre, bought 4 bags of the healthier type crisps, and walked home. I ate 2 bags, tried to save 2 bags for today, but nope, couldn’t stop myself, and ate the other 2 bags.
I feel quite ashamed admitting this so transparently here. But I need to feel that shame to try to stop it from happening again.
Today, my cats didn’t manage to wake me up until 9:30am, I fed then, took my meds in a daze, I’m not sure if I got then right, bcuz then I went straight back to sleep and didn’t wake up until after 6pm! Two of the bags of crisps were sweet flavoured, and of course I had the 2 ice creams as well, so it may have been sugar related sleep.
I managed to do my ‘morning’ routine, then watched my show at 9pm til 10pm. Not sure how it’s now 00:35, but I wanted to catch up as I fell asleep before doing so last night.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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Evening checkin on day 136. It is Friday. Hope everyone is having a great day.
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Checking in 451 days.
The weather is gross, going to try get back into my crocheting today. I’ve had a decent break from it as I went pretty hard for a while.
It’s super relaxing and keeps me busy while I’m stuck in the house.
Have a great day everyone x
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Ya there is. 
Yes you/we can.
It’s what we do.
Sorry about your wall. I can picture it. Doesn’t sound good.
I sure do love the way you think and figure things out and acknowledge the craving and deal with it and let it out here. I’ve always been impressed with the way you handle things.
I hope you can get some sleep 
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