Day 3,44
Some numbers that are worth it to report.
What am I doing different?
Leaving toxic job.
Sober, lot of perspectives and opportunities.
Wow.
Thank you for still being here! 
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One moment at a time 
keep doing the right things and be good to you Julia. @Rob11 I feel you man. Sometimes recovery doesn’t always feel good. I’ve got some untreated mental illness going on as well so that don’t help none. In my opinion the doubting yourself part is all just fear based I think most people go through it but how you work through it is important. Sometimes I’ll sit in my uncomfort until I’m willing to do something to maybe improve my situation. If you have a sponsor you should definitely call him and be open and honest about how you’re feeling and ask for a suggestion. Hope you feel better soon 
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Day 
Thhhhhat viiiiiibrrrrro plateee afffftterrrr runnnnnnning is ammmmazzzinggg thinggggg tttto ddddo 
I took the 
MAX level 
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Day 12 sober
5.85 days without a cigg/vape
Kinda grumpy and a little weirded out. I feel like people are messing with me but I’m not sure. I have schizophrenia and I can’t read people too well and I put my coffee down then when I sipped it, it tasted mad gross. Mad weird. In my old town everyone messed with me. I got punched twice and got used by everyone who said they were a friend. I know I’m not like, the most important person in the world but why did I get so much negative attention. I don’t know
I’ll just be on auto pilot for the rest of the day
Just 3 hours left
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WOW – that is so amazing – so very proud of you and I agree that your current situation is taking its toll on you with the crazy hours and the travel. I know its not easy to switch gears but it is definitely possible. Here’s to a or a healthier and happier future!
@kocky91 that is lovely Kevin – can’t wait to see the pics 
@brokenwolf I am sorry that you are dealing with a migraine. I do know how difficult it can be trying to work and focus while is such pain. I do hope you feel relief soon. What day is your competition on? Would like to be rooting for you on your big day. Wishing you the best for getting through what you are dealing with but we are here if you want to talk it out.
@noshame it’s good to look ahead and see your milestones approaching and then to do whatever you can to protect them and reach for the next milestone. You do got this! So happy to see you fighting for your addiction free life! Just saw your update - i am sorry friend - Some assholes in the world are just cruel for no reason (they must be super miserable themselves). You are amazing and do not deserve this. I do hope you get a new cup of coffee and enjoy the rest of your day.
@chase.e.u Grateful that you were not hurt physically. Hey shit happens pardon my directness – you are ok you will keep moving forward and this is not something to dwell on… You are kicking ass with your sobriety and now starting off the day with yoga – COME ON SON – you are building a beautiful life and something so trivial should not be a blip on your radar. I do hope that you are having a fantastic Monday!
@pattycake OOH I love it “freeing” Hugs to all indeed – we are freeing ourselves from our addictions. Our positive attitudes keep us moving forward – thank you Patricia!
@geng Thank you friend – we are awesome together. Keeping each other afloat. Love that here we can be understood and not judged – here we have the support to keep going. Seeing everyone doing well I have the will to push through too. Have an awesome sober time tomorrow at your concert!
@SelfLove_42 knowing is half the battle. You made it through the weekend and I do have faith that you will actively work toward your recovery. We are here with you!
Oh man that is a revelation. I am grateful that you ex and your son have forgiven you – hopefully you will be able to forgive yourself too. We are here my friend so if you feel the need to let it out and just ramble - please do so. You will feel lighter knowing you do not have to carry the load alone.
@juli1 You are doing fantastic and I do agree that leaving your toxic job is going to make your recovery go smoothly. SO happy for you my friend. Keep up the amazing work.
Checking in on Monday afternoon -
I am checking in feeling decent enough - i did get to the store and tidied up my room at my parents house as my aunt and uncle from Iran are visiting and will be staying over tonight. I have done a small walk and now about to do some seated yoga. Hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day - sending much love.
PS - found this and am going to try and accomplish a few items on this list if not all of them 
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Checking in
Alcohol day 1492
Food stuff day 3
Goal for the day is to eat 3 good meals. Don’t eat after dinner. Don’t drink.
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Checking in day 29. Woke up with some anxiety but meditation and some reading helped, I’m feeling positive about the rest of my day!
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@Mira_D congrats on your week 
@JazzyS thank you 🩵 well done for getting through all of your activities, despite the swelling and pain 
@1in8billion welcome back never stop trying 
🩵
@Timetochange congrats on 30 days and I’m glad your partner is supportive 🩵
@Mno I hope you and Luna got on okay at the vets and that you’re both relaxing now 
@BrOKenWolf sorry about the migraine feel better soon 🩵
@SelfLove_42 welcome back congrats on 3 days
1078 days no alcohol.
543 days no cocaine.
58 days no vape.
Physio appt went well. It was painful but that was to be expected. He has emailed me the exercises and I’m to do them 3-4 tines a week, they are different exercises than I’ve been given from private physios I’ve seen while I’ve been waiting so there’s hope that these ones may help and not make my back worse.
Therapy was good. More learning about what happens to the nervous system from complex trauma, in relation to the threat, drive, sooth system, basically there is little to no sooth system, so the nervous system is going threat-drive-threat, which explains a lot.
I’ve done my morning routine, showered, meditations, both walks, and 23mins of colouring. Once Ive finished the page I’m working on I’m going to find my sharpies because crayons are hurting my hand, and I cant find my sharpener. I do prefer sharpies anyway.
🩵
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Have a great evening 
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Day 947, 2nd check in
Had the time to talk with my ex after diner since our son left early. She mentioned that he asked her whether he will someday have hair again. My heart broke, he hasn’t talked awhile about it. He has alopecia, so he’s wearing a hairpiece. It is a struggle for him from time to time or constantly. After our holiday it’s the plan that he will go to France to have holidays with a friend and his family. Everything is arranged, including his ticket to fly there. My ex expressed her doubts whether he will go there, since the insecurity and anxiety seems to be playing up about his hairpiece.
One of the reasons for alopecia is stress, and there for sure was some stress when we were still together. My ex is no saint, but my behavior at that time was already addiction driven. So there comes the guilt and shame again. Can’t change the past, the only thing I can do is to be present now. My ex made a remark on that, since she noticed that I made some remarks to my son that support my ex. Something she never experienced before.
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Congratulations on ur 30 days!!! 
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Thank u 
hope u are doing ok
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Checking in day 9
How is everybody feeling today??
A good day overall went for a night up the mountains with my partner and child was a lovely day and got a chance to test out my new camera on the way 
got home tidyied up cooked dinner and played around on the computer for a while off to bed to watch a bit if Tv now
No cravings the past two days which is good mood today has been great long may it continue some photos of my hike today
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Thank you… …
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Celebrating day 290
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Day 2: no grazing
Day 2: no shopping spree
Day 34: no credit cards
Day 722: no pills
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1149 day’s because I don’t want to be back at day 1 ever again.
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Checking in sober. It’s been a shit day. Highlighted by gunshots somewhere in my apartment complex midday. Lots of cops showed up. No clue what happened. And my anxiety was bad before that. So useless trying to work. I need to think about making something for dinner. Even basic stuff seems to hard. Craving an escape through alcohol but I’ll resist.
OFDAAT
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