It’s meant to get a bit wilder I think too!
Try to rest if you need to, although I’m sure you know what to do for your body and managing CF! Don’t be a hero, the gym can wait!
Have a good one.
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Hi Mike, I think there is a technique that might help the work issues here, because it sounds as if you are really overwhelmed. Keep a pad and write down every task you have in its littlest form, tiny tiny details that you can work on.
The reasoning behind this is that if you set a task to make a lasagna, it seems simple right? Your only task is to make this dish and you have set your inner expectations on this alone. So after work you go to the cupboard and realise you have no pasta sheets and the mince is still frozen. What that should have looked like was a bunch of small tasks to get to the stage of making the lasagne. Obviously when you fail because the task was too big (understandably too much and impossible under the circumstances), you turn on yourself and trash talk and lose faith in yourself and lose trust. This becomes a nasty circle.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s manageable if you chip away at tiny tasks that all contribute. I guess your bigger job of getting clean is kinda the same too, just do all this chipping away and DON’T PICK UP. REPEAT.
Good luck 
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Day 227
The family we had staying over left yesterday afternoon. I’m kind of relieved. So there was drinking in the house every night, glad that’s over now. But I do feel mentally deflated 
Not so much the alcohol consumption around me, but all the conversations were just that little bit too loud. The behaviour just that little bit too inconsiderate.The conversation topics just that little bit too self centered, the jokes either racist or homophobic…
The two days just took a lot of strength to not say what I wanted to say, just to keep the peace.
I am drained. I need some solitude, some quiet time to get my thoughts back in order and to recharge.
Hope everyone has a good sober day
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I was surprised recently when I got a numbing injection for my filling. All those childhood fillings with no pain relief 
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@HolySquid that’s a lot for you to go through … glad you made it through although you’re emotionally deflated. Be so proud of yourself for being on the outside looking in….
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Day 39 and still sober…trying to do the 90 in 90
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Thank you 
I’m sure a day of self care will get me back to normal. Hot bath, face mask, some cake, reading my book and maybe starting the fireplace for the first time this winter.
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21
Here’s another mysterious doors from zzz. 
See Ya the next day. You guess it right
There will be MORE Doors 
9 
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34 days and feeling fine
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Checking in.
192 Days.
Frustrating day trying to organize studies online. Nothing wants to work!
Anyway, it’s making me more despondent than I should actually be.
It’s a molehill not a mountain.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1222. I hope everybody has a good one!
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@Dazercat @JennyH @Soberbilly Just want to say thank you to all of you for the support. Means a lot!
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Day 43
Been struggling with depression, trying to stay focused on school, work and kids. I love where my life is and where is going, but I am feeling a little down recently. Been reminding myself of what relapsing would look like and it’s bad so I’ve been able to stay away from drinking. Trying to keep loneliness at bay.
Have a beautiful day my people. 
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Happy sober Thursday! Have an awesome day!
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Checking in day 410! Last day at my job. They’re doing a lunch for me and colleagues are coming in for it- which is nice, and I have great relationships with them, but hate being center of attention. Should be good overall. Celebrating with dinner tomorrow night. Meant to take the day off tomorrow but had to schedule a client for my part time job, which is ok. Looking forward to the weekend being here, and then excited/nervous combo for next week.
Hope everyone has an incredible sober Thursday 
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Having a really triggering and bad day at work. Maybe it’s PMS, I do feel depressed and down today, rage full. Well work started off poor and my mental health is not receptive or balanced today so it really sent me off on a bad path.
Talking to a colleague by phone earlier with regards to other colleagues it turns out that apparently a person in the office doesn’t like me, I used to line manage her [she’s a complete nuisance but that’s by the by, an arse licking sycophant around those she likes] . She’s very open about her dislike for me in the office and apparently keeps an email from me from six years ago……in her inbox….
I guess as I’m a remote worker she can trash talk me. Look, I know this girl is an asshat, she’s the worst type of fake. She actually on Teams told me that the girl I was talking to today was ‘mad’. I kept my counsel on that one as it seemed petty to escalate. I feel totally gaslighted and abused, I feel ashamed and sad and angry and just horrible. Half of me wants to have it out with her as the sane part of me knows my worth and value and that I have never tried to hurt her, ever. The other half wants to curl up and literally Ive written my resignations fifteen times in my head already.
The shame and cycle I resort to from toxic abuse and being manipulated by a narcissist family is kicking my butt, I just want to escape. So sad and distraught. I know it probably doesn’t seem like much, but this is my exact trigger. Something is resting directly on a nerve in the feeling and I know this is why I used. The painful remembering of everything is choking: inadequacy, feeling so small and alone.
How can something so simple and cruel [and she would not care a jot] take away my entire 24 days equilibrium? How can I be so stupid to allow someone to walk over me like this…I’m really NOT a doormat at all, but this is a finger in an open wound.
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Checking in on 150 days. Hope you are all having an awesome day!
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Checkin’ in at 19 days here. Still feeling good! Also feeling much more productive in my life. It’s amazing what eliminiating a hangover day can do for you.
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Go back to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps. Or get into intensive therapy. Doing both would probably be the most helpful.
You have a lot of shit to unpack and this forum and going to group and your own insights are not going to do the trick. You know plenty about sobriety but you need way more knowledge on the stuff inside your head.
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Day 1 complete. Onto day 2. Some marijuana withdrawals, the CBD helps. I basically feel a little moody and depressed. I think the dejected and despondent thoughts and feelings are the most difficult part now, later will come nostalgia. Fortunately was able to sleep. I hadn’t been drinking much lately anyway, no hangover just cannabinoid issues.
I’m thankful that it’s not that rough to quit mj and I have some supportive stuff to do for my health and mood.
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