@maxwell how are you doing Maxine? @mno LOL you are so right – luckily no drinking or escaping thoughts (well none that last for long). Maybe put some feelers out and see what options you have with what work is available? I am sure there will be other opportunities where you are able to give back and also feel fulfilled yourself. @acromouse thank you Aga. Glad that the sadness is subsiding. I too find that socializing is draining these days but essential to some degree for my mental health – hoping that we both find that balance. @mrsodh Loved reading about your day – feel like you are always in an adventure SO great that you are able to leave a job to check out another field with your job available if you choose to come back – I have never heard of this and think that is so brilliant. @catmancam thanks friend Hope all goes well with your psychologist appointment today @chevy55 74 and going strong – you doing ok friend?
Beautiful read Mike – way to go friend – you are making great strides in your sober journey – keep up the amazing work! @lile01 I absolutely love them oh man I bet they hurt… got them all on same day? Looking great as is but I know what you mean about wanting to change out for nicer jewelry. @tailee17 There she is with her 3 weeks – nicely done Lam! Keep up the amazing work my friend @k_s oh man that is a shitty situation all around and I’m sorry that is the news you woke up to this morning. Sending peace and love to the little boy Glad you shared with us Kenny – hope it helped to let it out.
So great to see you checking in Sabrina and I loved these lines the most. You are beautiful girl and am grateful for your positive attitude @lighter Great work Marie — you are right, this will pass. Keep putting in the effort and staying connected – we really are stronger together @wakikki big hugs my friend sending you love and strength as you find a way to forgive yourself and make amends. We are not the same person we were in past addictive days. Give yourself the grace to see your growth and hopefully you will be able to find peace soon. @tailee17 thanks Lam
Checking in on Tuesday morning
Not much going on – the fire seems to be due to a wiring issue (it’s an old building so who knows). Having to wait for the electrical company to come out and check out which can take a min of 3-4 days. UGH! The silver lining is that my brother is now available to take my mom to her follow up appointment. Really wanted someone with her to take notes and ask the right questions. Hoping that she can avoid radiation My pain is still very intense and I am trying not to focus on it. It does fucking suck LOL. ODAAT and working on staying positive and here for my mom.
How are you doing? I hope your recovery is going well.
Last night was the first time I had a strong drinking dream, knowing I was going to blow 70+ days, woke up for a second thinking I drank. (I didn’t).
And I know where it came from. Yesterday, I was looking at a sales flyer app for my grocery store and they had a 1.75L of vodka for $9.99 USD. This one still pops up occasionally of things you buy. I remember thinking, don’t show me that! 1.75L is 60 ounces! So you can get 60 shots of 80 proof vodka for about $10! Yet a case of 24 cans of diet Coke is $15.99!
Otherwise, I’m good, just been busy. Thank you for asking! Oh yeah, and today is Day 78!
90 days af, 6 months nicotine free and one hour free of disordered eating. That last one is my toughest hurdle, I am sad, ashamed, and terrified but I am seeing a specialist next week. I wish I could stop on my own, its so embarrassing that it has this kind of control over me. Ugh. To all who are on a sober journey, you are worth it!!!
First off congrats on the work you have put in. No reason to be ashamed that you are struggling and it’s great you’re seeing someone. We all have are own battles with things that sometimes we can’t get a handle on. I’m proud of you for having the strength to reach out!
Checking in. Yesterday’s movie was great, it’s that kind of a film that stays with you for days after watching it. Today was rough, I’m so confused emotionally and don’t know what to do to make my feelings calm down. I cannot wait for my therapy session on Thursday, I hope that’ll help. Today I contacted my buddy from town, took a walk, worked, baked, wrote my ‘anger-journal’ but I’m still restless with intense feelings, so now I just try to fall asleep.
@JazzyS@CATMANCAM Thank you for reaching out! @JazzyS I expected the actual craving to be stronger and didn’t expect my emotions to be so overwhelming, so I’m quite lost, but I’m holding on.
Well, today’s day 30 and it has been the most stressful day I have seen in a very long time. My sister showed up to my home early Saturday morning, and I hadn’t seen her in six years due to the religion she’s in. Well, today she had a manic episode, and just so she was having this horrible episode there was a knock at the door and it was the RCMP looking for her because her husband had put out a missing person on her. At the same time she’s conversing with some guy from the Internet that she met from the states who is all of a sudden intervened into her life and everything is a big stressful event. I have her husband calling me. I have the RCMP involved and now I have to worry about this guy from the states coming because she Give him our address so it’s been very stressful and I haven’t drank. I want to…
Congrats on 30 days! Sorry today was so stressful and hope all is ok with your sister. Sounds like a messy situation but as we know drinking won’t help. Temporary relief that makes everything worse tomorrow.
Checking in
2y1m6d
Ive had a very overwhelming day honestly. My son was supposed to have an appt this afternoon to get his wheelchair back after it had been expanded to fit him better, and he spiked a high fever this morning, so we couldnt go. Thats fine… it can be rebooked. But he has a special event at school tmrw and a book fare that he wanted to go to tmrw at school. So i tried to find a way to be able to get him the books he wanted… which i was able to do. Lots and LOTS of medical phone calls today. And of course doing what i can to help my son thru this fever. I wish i knew why he keeps getting sick
So my husband came home early which was great! I needed to also do a grocery shop, so i went and did that while he watched our son. Came home exhausted. Just sooo tired. I put everything away and then started supper. Ate and now trying to just take it easy a bit. Looking forward to some self care later. And praying that my son begins to feel better
Recovery wise i am okay. Not really any urges to use. I really miss the gym tho. I might attempt to wake up extra early tmrw and try for a workout. Its been 4 days since ive exercised. Not much else to report. Its just been a crazy hectic day
@maxwell lovely to hear from you Maxine. Glad you are doing well with 78 days! Oh I totally relate to seeing something in passing and then feeling urges later on. Our subconscious is such a mother**ker sometimes. Glad you realized the trigger and even better when you realized you had not given in… flex those sober muscles! I’m healing but its taking some time… dealing with pain right now and very uncomfortable. Hoping to get some insight after my CT on Friday. @lile01 2 is still a lot girl – I can do pain but try to limit it LOL … one at a time. I definitely would’ve passed out Thanks for your sweet compassion love. @jenny1972 WOOT WOOT that is some impressive timers Jenny! Great to see you checking in. Absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Addiction of any kind is a disease and we need all the support and resources out there to help us find our way through it. I do hope the specialist is able to help you love. You are also worth it and doing a remarkable job! @tomek just keep doing what you are my friend—our bodies and minds act so unexpectedly when we deprive them of the addiction. I know one time I quit smoking and I slept for 2 days straight. Another time I cried uncontrollably for hours each day for about a week. You are not alone … lean on us for support or if you need to vent. Remember you will not have to go through these initial days again @button83 AMAZING – great work Julia — 1 month milestone is fantastic work! WOW – that is a lot of stress my friend. I do hope it all works out. Hope you and your sister are safe. Drinking will offer no solution and only muddy the situation. Great work on maintaining your sobriety @butterflymoonwoman Oh man I’m sorry love – sending your lovely son many healing vibes and soothing energy. I do hope you get some “me” time Dana and can practice some self care. Much love dear friend.
SO great that you are able to leave a job to check out another field with your job available if you choose to come back – I have never heard of this and think that is so brilliant.
Hope all goes well with your psychologist appointment today 
oh man I bet they hurt… got them all on same day? Looking great as is but I know what you mean about wanting to change out for nicer jewelry.
sending you love and strength as you find a way to forgive yourself and make amends. We are not the same person we were in past addictive days. Give yourself the grace to see your growth and hopefully you will be able to find peace soon.
My pain is still very intense and I am trying not to focus on it. It does fucking suck LOL. ODAAT and working on staying positive and here for my mom.
Thanks for your sweet compassion love.