Checking in on day 649. Morning check-in today because I’ve been so tired the last few days I fell asleep after catching up on posts and didn’t check in. It’s been a good weekend so far, sorting out more boxes at the house and a good beach walk with doggo. Today i want to get a few planters out in the garden, which is just a bare square of nothing right now, will get pollinator friendly plants to encourage some life into the space.
@Mno sending hugs and scritches to luna
@Butterflymoonwoman you inspire me so much and were one of the people who kept me coming here in the early days. I’m grateful you are here 
try to focus on today, what you can do or handle now and what you need to let go. Your son is loved and so well cared for and that little girl full of life, smiling and dancing, is you. Keep her close and love and look after her too 
why not open the insight timer app today, sounds like it could be quite grounding for you now.
@SarahBear well done on working through step four and dealing with those emotions, better out than in, right
@Just_Laura I hope work is easier today and you can sort your hot water out soon.
@Lasse welcome to the community 
this is a great place to hang out with some awesome sober folk. Hope to see you around on here.
Have a good sober Sunday all
Day 97.
Sunday Check in. Was yesterday meeting a few like minded (business) people with my fiancé. She drank a few cocktails which did not trigger me. Feeling good. - still have to make some mental decisions in my life, that I feel like I don’t want to adress. Procrastinating a bit on this. Have to tackle it.
One thing is weird what I have noticed. In the moments when I have had a drink in the past (on long train rides, while meeting with people in restaurants etc.) - I’m suggesting my fiancé drinks. Like it’s a „good“ thing - and she can „enjoy“ it. But there’s logically nothing good about a drink. The frame is like „you can but I can’t“. I don’t know why I do it. - it tells me that my mind still associates something good with it and maybe that I am missing it sometimes. Don’t know. Have any of you had something like this?
Whishing all a strong 24.
Yeah I get what you mean I feel the same on the odd occasion my GF drinks but ig she can just “enjoy” one or two drinks - I know I can’t because it’s never been just one or two for me
AA calls it an ‘allergy’ which doesn’t sound right, but it is an abnormal reaction that some people don’t seem to have so technically
Feeling a lot better after a very restful Saturday (tried to get into my VACI but the brain fog was so thick - so I just got into bed and watched my favorite comfort movie - Quiz Lady) managed a bit of exercise at the end of the day again too and I’m thinking of getting back into working out regularly
For today I just had a nice relaxing morning with my GF (she majes the most delicious omelettes!) going to go out and do a little bit of litter picking just to get outside for a while and listen to my audio book, and hopefully try again looking at some TTRPG stuff this arvo
Day 485 AF, closing in on 500, wow, who’d da thunk?? Certainly not me after hitting the sauce pretty hard for 4 decades, but it really is possible.
Great day yesterday in gym and yard. Absolutely beautiful day!!
Today equally as beautiful albeit a different feel with fog and drizzle, but I enjoy that also.
More early morning fasted cardio this morning, another decent pull day scheduled down in the gym, then some groceries for the work week.
But for now, I take a moment to enjoy my morning coffee and view I am grateful to have.
Enjoy a peaceful day all.
I love Sunday morning hangover free check ins. Went to the neighbors last night to watch the Kentucky Derby. Lasted 2 hours but had to leave when people started getting drunk and loud. It is going to be a pretty day and I am looking forward to a workout, cooking and some golf. I have been crying a lot but I am embracing that as a necessary release. I hope everyone has a great Sunday.
@Rookie I skipped a Kentucky derby party yesterday because I didn’t want to see or smell mint juleps, see or smell drunk people in stupid hats 
, or see or smell myself the next morning! Good going seeing through some of this pretense and stuff. That said, I’d go to a sober one.
@Bekah212 I like the omelet idea so much I just made one, and it was unusually tasty. 
It might be protein I was craving. Thanks for sharing- I feel better!
I might check in 5 times today since I woke up early. This would wreck me if I was drinking. But I was singing Chaparelle while cooking my omelet so I am delirious but functional.. 
That ‘Inside the Lines’ song is stuck in my head. ‘Hey Marty, are you a deceiver?’ Good Austin band.
Off to get cleaned up and outside to pick up 1000 small sticks. . Beautiful morning.
Day 1296 AF
Man, I haven’t slept for shit. I have insomnia. It’s 5 AM. here.
My other addiction kicked in. I fought through it, though.This sucks. Shits a mental battle, but Ima keep pushing. I’m tired of the old me.
I got up to clean the fridge. Grocery store opens in about in hr. Gonna buy groceries for the fam and keep myself busy.
Have a great sober Sunday, fam!
ODAAT
Started my wee free book nook when I went down for litter picking - dialed it back as far as possible just to test the waters - just put a couple paperbacks with a “take a book leave a book” post-it note in the foyer - so we’ll see if anyone does in the coming days ig
Thank you LAM!!!
Thank you Menno and Col!!!
@mira_d how’s everything going? Hope the trial.is over and behind you. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Sending hugs 
@Lasse welcome to the community and great work on your 6 days. Your lies er tell ourselves are so outrageous but when we are in the thick of addict they seem so real. We really can’t just have one or moderate…we have tested that theory many times and know the answer. Glad you are here with us and looking forward to seeing your daily check ins.
@SarahBear . Sometimes just the release of tears is so healing. I sometimes don’t know the cause for the tears but feel lighter and happier after a good cry. Much love Sarah
I was just gonna recommend. Such a amazing product and your parents are gonna be thrown back with the water pressure they gain 
@LittleMissL how are you doing Laura?
Checking in on Sunday morning
Had a horrible night. My migraine was intense and I was sick most of the night. My body is achy and shorlde hurts. Ugh ..the complaints could go on but …today is a new day. Head is not as throbby and my pains are manageable. Not feeling sickly so gonna get some coffee. Just the thought of that sweet aroma filling the air is making me happy.
Not a whole lot planned for today. Will play it by ear.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addition free day… sending you all so much love
Day 1,786 clean and sober today. So I finished all my onboarding paperwork and now I just have to wait for the background check to come back. I did get into some trouble about 6 years ago but I was upfront and honest about what happened. The Program Director that was interviewing me said people should not be judged on their past but on where they are now which was awesome to hear. That being said, it is a corporation so there is a chance that they might disqualify me on what happened years ago. Yesterday was so hard being at work and the only thing I could think about was hoping the new job will give me a chance because I am absolutely over it with my current job. All I can do is practice what I’ve learned and that’s patience, acceptance and mindfully trying to stay in the present moment. Way harder than it sounds 
Have an amazing day today everyone and thank you sooooo much for the support!!! Love you guys!!! 
Awwwwww thank you Dana that means a lot!!!
Thank you Jasmine so much!!!
Day 8 and what a beautiful day it is! Going to spend time outside getting some sunlight!
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!
@JazzyS I hope the migraine has passed by now.
@Rockstar24777 I’m excited for you. Keeping my fingers crossed your background check goes well and you can say bye bye to your old job.
Hey all,
It was a very busy week. I am still processing the court outcome. Its hard to talk about and articulate. The judge listed all the aggravating factors, which were a lot and even wrnt on a tangent about domestic violence…but in the end he settled for the 15 year minimum mandatory, and that has been very hard to absorb. The person who killed my sister, who plead guilty to 2nd degree and who has a “LIFE SENTENCE” is eligble for parole in 12 years. The average added to this is an additional 7 years before they actually get parole but still. He is going to therapy, he has obtained his GED and is continuing his education inside so a model inmate I am sure which all bodes well at parole hearings.
With all the evidence of the prior strangulation, prior death threats and the witness and video recording of his saying he thought of killing my sister every day and burying her in the backyard (words uttered 3 days before he killed her), the judge didnt find beyond a reasonable doubt that there was planning and deliberation.
The judge stated that a plea was somehow evidence of remorse, which fails to take into account how a plea is ALSO removing the risk of going to trial and being convicted by a jury of 1st. Pleaing down isnt synonymous with feelings of guilt and remorse.
I got to see my brother-in-law and speak with him. That conversation I dont want to talk about here but I was not left feeling one way or the other, except that he is much the same and I dont know that I actually believe there is remorse.
But at the end of the day, 12-15 years is what is standard and the precedent for 2nd degree murder in a domestic violence homicide, so instead of pushing beyond that precedent the judge had no courage to put his money where his mouth was and raise the bar.
Somehow through everything we managed to keep our children busy with fun activities witj family and friends - visiting with their cousins, the aquarium, the zoo, a baseball game and all the food the city has to offer. We havent always been able to rise to that challenge, but it felt we did a good job of this this time around. I am currently with my best friend, my bonus sister, at her parents cottage and oh my we are both exhausted from this last month - that started in March and is ending in May. Glad to be where I am, and though I know I have next steps in terms of figbting this system and advocating against such an anti-women legal framework…for these next few days, i will sit. And just be. Thanks for being here with me through all of this xo.
@Rookie great job leaving when you needed to. It can be so hard but drunk people are so annoying that sometimes its a relief to leave! Have a beautiful Sunday
@JazzyS thank you I know it was necessary but hoping to be a little more emotionally level today, i hope you get to feeling better soon and can take it easy today 
@Rockstar24777 wishing you the best with the new job! I had a similar situation with a criminal record during the hiring process for the job I have now so I know that can be so stressful. Youre right that staying in the moment is hard but youve got a great outlook!
@Mira_D thank you for sharing this incredibly difficult story with us. I cant imagine what you and your family are going through. It sounds like you have a great family and are looking out for each other. Sending you lots of love 
Hey all, checking in on day 1785. I hope everybody has a good one!