Day 309. Cold Monday, checking in.
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Day 60!! Finally made it lol. I had a pretty good day, and it feels so good to make it 60. Iāve tried to get sober 4 times in the past 2 years and this is the longest Iāve made it yet. I feel better than Iāve ever felt and for once Iām actually excited for the future.
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I hear you Jane, me tooā¦
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Finishing day 7, one week! The week is easy for me to get through, the weekends not so much. Had my first craving today out of pure routine in hanging around the house on a Sunday. Instead I grabbed a sparkling water and made some steak sandwiches and curly fries for lunch. This Naked Mind got delivered today and I cannot wait to start it! Happy day everyone 
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Thatās amazing! How exciting for you!
74.01
Going to bed sober, because thatās what I do.
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Day 462. I got my rest day. 
I need another one though 
The weekend:
Monday: ā¦fivefourthreetwoone Ready or not, here I come!
Monday: Found you! Youāre it!
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Closing out FORTY days. My longest streak prior has been 45 days (New Years to Valentineās). Iām hoping I donāt cave again this year.
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- Monday morning coffee. Reading this thread reminds me not to become complacent about my sobriety. It is big. Life changing stuff. Iām never going to forget where I was 248 days ago, which was in a very dark place. When I feel tired in the morning now because I didnāt sleep too well itās nothing compared to the hangovers I had back then. When I donāt feel too happy with my current job or personal situation itās nothing compared with the suicidal mess I was early June 2019. Never again. It takes work but it is work of love. Thanks so much for being here all. For keeping me accountable and on the right road. Which is sober and clean. Have a good week all. Love from Amsterdam where the storm has passed.
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Thank you!! Iām pretty happy with it 
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Thanks! Iām probably going to just sleep in tomorrow for a reward 
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Thank you! And congrats on week one 
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Good morning to all you wonderfully crazy cats,Iām checking in on day 68 Iāve got my fourth n.a meeting tonight and I am putting it out there Iām looking for a temporary sponsor and or a full time one but Iām not just jumping in my n the full time one it has to be right my secrets are dark very dark so it wonāt just be anybody I share that with I see all to often ppl rushing to find a sponsor band then it doesnāt work out as they havenāt really taken the time to think it thru then they feel abandoned etc in some cases relaspe happens so yeah easy does it for me .have a great day and if your in the UK be safe the winds and rain have caused alotvif traffic problems.
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468.8
I donāt really want to tell you any of this, but my recovery and sobriety relies heavily on being honest with myself and others about how Iām feeling. It usually kinda sucks, but itās kept me from falling into old behaviors for 15 months, so here goes.
Every time I try to check in, its like the words I wanna say seem so meaningless. Lately Iāve just been opening the app and then closing it again.
Thereās this underlying sense that nothing I do matters and Iām just filling the time roboticallyā¦ dispassionately. I guess this is all to be expected.
Iāve been working some pretty intense hours lately. Everyday we start later and end later, so by Friday, I got off work at like 1am. Iām working 70 hour weeks to put money in the bank for my wife, but at the end of the day she just wants to spend time with me. That said, the time we spend together is not easy. Thereās no light between us. No intimacy. Just damage control and logistics. We sprinkle in sweetness where we can, little gestures mostly. It helps. This weekend we were both almost too busy to hug. I had to attack one last project on my truck, and it was more complicated than I thought. Took a lot longer than I expected but I got it done. Physically, and emotionally, Iām thrashed because of it. I also lead an AA meeting, for the first time, on Saturday night. It was really weird, but I did OK. I just could be 100% present.
I think thatās my problem right now. No matter what Iām doing, itās not the right thingā¦ I perpetually feel like Iām supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else. But I canāt.
Right now Iām supposed to be asleep, so I can get up at 4:30 am. All I want to do is cry, but itās not coming out. And I donāt know if thatād really help.
This too shall pass. Overall, Iām fine.
Just, super fucking burned out and weird.
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day 511 
Quick check in: hi and bye 
See you tomorrow! š
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take care lovely lady.
DAY 100 ALCOHOL DAY 60 WEED AND TOBACCO. Probably going to wet myself. Have a great, good, bearable, at the very least sober day. By the time you get back in bed sober will be all that matters for most of us.
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Hey Paul DM if you need to vent or an ear
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