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ride this morning, lunch with another friend, and catch a 
home in the evening. Weather is great 
. Itās turning out to be a perfect little trip.
Iām going to make today as good a day as I can. Sober and clean. Hope you will all do the same. Much love from a German kale forest.
@GOKU_SS4 You should try eating veggie soups in the evening, such as pumpkin, carrot, and potato soup or cauliflower, mushroom, and potato soup. You can be creative with the combinations. They work very well for constipation. Plus, remember hydration since water is the main component of our intestines ā¦
@s_unrelax Well done on 30 days!!! 
Hello everyone!
DAY 71 - Check-In
The first week at work has been quite successful! Iām happy with the results, and I will send a picture to the art dealer this morning to showcase the beginning of the sequence. At one point, I had to pray about the outcome because the color combination was making me nervous. However, this morning, when I went to the studio to check on it, I was very impressed. It has all the color frequencies it needs.
Iām going to take the rest of the week off to recharge and start fresh on Monday with the second one. This is a new working relationship; the previous one went very well, although India is quite far, and theyāve decided not to continue for now (they havenāt said it outright, but they havenāt invited me it either). Iām actually happy to have this new contact for Holland, Belgium, and Germany, and Iām excited to see where this will take me. I really hope to be successful, as I want to move forward. To be honest, a residency requires too much commitment to the gallery, as they sort of own your time and life. I prefer to be free, so perhaps it was a blessing not to be rescheduled again. I look forward to the day I will have my studio in a city.
I like it here, but it is very quiet and solitary, and I miss little things like chatting with a friend over coffee, going to the movies, and experiencing the vibe of the city. Iām sure the right opportunities will come at the right time. I am grateful to have the chance to work here in peace and have the resources to do so.
Today, I am grateful for:
Wishing everyone a great 24 sober hours!
Well, no (how does that even happen?! 
) But sorry, Iām sticking by shampoo. It wasnāt like a couple drops. An entire palm full slipped off my hand on itās way to my head. Looked like I had pink eye for 3 days. No bueno 
@GOKU_SS4 Thanks for sharing that book 
I need to start working on something to find solutions for these problems.
@s_unrelax Congrats on 30 days! 
995
This week feels all out of whack for some reason. No day has felt like the actual day it is. Maybe bc I worked Monday and not Tuesday, but that doesnāt explain why today feels like Friday 
I went to the Thursday morning meeting! Itās probably from the crap sleep Iāve gotten lately 
I never made it to the police station bc the whole thing with my dad, but it needs to happen soon. You wouldnāt believe the shit Iām hearing 
Right now in fact! Scaring my cats. Thereās some sick people down there. Ugh.
Anyway. I donāt remember if I mentioned knowing a younger guy from the first meeting (and every other). I didnāt realize at first, but we worked together 8-9 years ago. Back when everyone was a fuck up, getting fucked up at work. It was a different time. But we still got it done 
Well, he got his one year chip today So, that was cool to be there for. Hoping to find more accessible meetings around 
Odaat.
Check-in 
Itās been a heavy few days. My sister is going through a painful situation, my father needs support, and Iām trying to hold things together. I know I tend to take on too much, but Iām also aware of it now. I donāt want to lose myself in the chaos this time. Staying calm, grounded, and aware ā one day at a time. 
Cutting fresh chilli, all over fingers, rubbed eye. Excruciating! And, itās also pretty horrendous if you mix chilli with other parts of your bodyā¦ 
I mean, what shampoo? I imagine some are worse than othersā¦ Those astringent citrus ones might sting bad.
Checking in on day 10 after being mia for a bit
10 days alcohol free
10 days energy drinks free
4 days self harm free
28 days I didnāt try to kms
Iām feeling incredibly sad and insecure about my journey to a better self. I get overstimulated with the slightest sound and person around me, as well as not being able to endure light at the moment.
716 sugar
580 UPF
Got to play a very interesing game last night. Pretty day today, errands and groceries, design work later and a nice rowing workout.
Peace and love always 
Too intriguing. Which game?
1809.. No Alcohol
105.. No Lust
Last night my son talked about wanting to run a business and make money. Which came from a conversation we had 3 weeks ago about how he can go make money. Which lead to him wanting to work at my job and see different angles. He is definitely in a learning mode. So, I just brought him into different things.
But, last night, we sat and talked about how he wanted to sell things.
He got on YT and was watching those sales seminar things. And, honestly, its just beautiful to watch him grow. Learn and get excited for things.
I tell him all the time, āman, of course you can do it, only you can stop yourself.ā
He is on his money grind.
We hit the prayer after, did Bible study and he went to bed.
But, its just so interesting..
..
I, honestly, tell these stories because who would I have been if I stayed a drunk.
Driving drunk.
Angry.
Bitter.
Sad.
Time lost.
Barely getting through the day.
In my own desperation.
Ect..
..
Its humbling, really..
Ill be 5 years towards the end of this month.
I knew in my heart the things that him and I do were in my heart, always. You know, raise my kid(s) with confidence to go after it.
But, to live it.
Nothing better in this world. Literally nothing.
..
Anyways, its going to be a long heavy month.. i can feel that. So much going on in my day-to-dayā¦ so many changes happening.
So many truly beautiful humbling open moments. So much coming up in my own mind, body and soul. So many different emotions.
Everything really changed and, normally with this much change I would tighten up, start building wallsā¦ but this? I can just let go and enjoy. I have a few moments but, i brush them off. Iām safe, there is genuine love and hope.
Non of this could ever-ever be captured at a party, or with a drink, all that stuff, meaningless.
But, i know, changes are scary, its the control we desire so that we can feel safe. Our survival instict.
Anyways, enough about that.
ā¦
There really is no other path for me.. the turn around throughout this year.
Just all of it.
All glory, all praise, goes to Jesus.
Goodnight.
Well Iām 60 today! Been to the shops, out for a run and walking into town for a coffee in a bit I think. Meeting family for lunch tomorrow. Itās all very calm. I still have my manic days but Iām slowly getting there. I think. 
Happy Birthday, Brian 
Happy birthday! 
Itās a german occult themed crime/ lost place game. I donāt believe there is an english description available. Here the link nonetheless Bar der DƤmonen.
A friend of mine writes board game reviews and we get to play test many new games.
PAWS killing me at day 13 but I am happy to be in full recovery for the first time, not just trying to abstain from one or another of my addictive substances and patterns 
Best wishes Brian. Have a good one mate. 
Checking in at the start of my Friday workday. Going to focus on staying disciplined and motivated to power through the day and evening. Itās been a tough week, in a tough era at home. Iāve got to be the strength and light for my household. See you this afternoon.
Take care of yourself.
Hey all, checking in on day 1972. I hope everybody has a good one!
Hi all,
Day 19 AF. Day 4 TF.
Got some tedious tests to run at work today. At least I get to listen to music, podcasts, and audiobooks while I do it. Looking forward to working by myself.
Have a great day!
Brent
