Oh yeah, I’ve grown quite attached to these little stinkers. Ever since we took in the baby orphans (not yet with eyes open) from the shelter, I’ve been hooked. Their personalities are spectacular, especially their playful stomps. Every morning, I feed the squirrels, and about five stinkers every evening. I’ve been fortunate enough to never have had been sprayed by them. My dogs are trained to completely ignore these “friends” (not an easy task for my border collie lab, lol, but he’s doing great). The squirrels, skunks, dogs, and even the occasional trash panda all coexist peacefully. I love it. My mom has even softened towards them, and they just run all around her as she chain smokes outside (yeah, she can keep it there, lol). I’m so happy that I’m able to fully enjoy these little things. Animals have a healing way about them. I didn’t even think to post anywhere else when I came back, lol.
Happy 40th Soberversary @Ray_M_C_Laren !! What an amazing accomplishment.
628 days sober
1 day 22hrs binge free
Today was our first day working out of a trailer while Our restaurant is renovated and wow what an adventure that was ( but definitely nothing worth drinking over). Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit smoother. Only 2 hours away from the 2 day mark binge free but don’t want to get too Excited as this time of night is tough for me . Hope everyone has had a good day. Stay safe and sober out there.
Congrats on 310 great job..
Great job on your sobriety!
Thanks to everyone that reached out. This is really, really hard. I am back in my house, so that’s good, but I don’t even know where to begin.
I’m 38 and I have Crohn’s disease. I was a therapist for 18 years—and a really good one. Both my parents were addicts. My mom died, my dad got sober and started a new family, and we didn’t hear from him again. I was just left alone, navigating the world by myself from 11 years old. I didn’t have it easy; my mom sold me for drugs at 12. It’s a miracle I finished college.
I’m just really angry. I didn’t feel this angry while drinking, but I am extremely angry now. I just never catch a break. If you’ve ever seen A Bronx Tale, when they say, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all”—well, that’s me. It’s always another hit.
I got married at 19 and had two children by 23. At that time I wasn’t really drinking, but he was an addict hiding it and became extremely abusive. That’s when the drinking started toward the end. I eventually got remarried, and my husband is wonderful, but his mother is an absolute nightmare. She weaponizes my childhood against me to make me feel inferior all the time, so we finally cut her off.
I’m not very trusting of people; I guess I let the world harden me a little bit, so it’s not easy for me to make long-term friends. But one thing about me is people love me. I’m super funny, I have a great Brooklyn accent like Marisa Tomei, and I have no problem lighting up a room and entertaining people. But I cry by myself a lot more often than I’d like to admit.
In May I had surgery, and it was pretty traumatizing since I’d never had surgery before, and it took forever to heal with the Crohn’s. Four weeks later, my husband lost his job after 15 years. I was put out on disability because of Crohn’s disease, and at that point, my doctor said to apply for Social Security because I’ve been on temporary leave so often due to this horrible disease. I’m a workaholic—when I was working, I was working 70 hours a week and loved it—so it was devastating to apply for Social Security because it’s not what I wanted.
At times, since I was home and needed something to do, we decided to homeschool our youngest, and I finally found purpose. But now, with this whole situation, I just don’t know what to do. Do I sacrifice my health and go back to work, or do I wait for Social Security? I don’t really need an answer to that, I guess I’m just saying it out loud.
I have no support, and I’m just extremely angry. I love my older two children from my first marriage and I have full custody of them, but it’s not fun raising them. It’s really hard raising two kids when my ex-husband does everything to go against me. They don’t appreciate me, they take advantage of me, and they run me into the ground.
I’m just at my breaking point.
Sorry friend…hope you are able to rest and recharge while on dry land. Glad your sobriety is in tact. Hope you can find ways to lift your spirits 
@Jwfletcher4792 I’m sorry that they are being such hardasses. Glad you know your rights and are exercising them. Best of luck friend
@PositiveThoughts that sucks that a glass was poured at your seat. I am sorry that you had to resist multiple times. I do hope going forward your friends are more understanding of your sobriety. Glad you are being vigilant and starting day 1 here with us.
@Ray_M_C_Laren wow ..that’s awesome Ray! A huge congratulations 
. Happy birthday to your son as well.
I think you are doing great. I myself have not done step work or any recovery groups. This space is my go to for support and knowledge. I have been working in me in ways I never had considered. Sobriety is giving me a chance to heal all of me from the inside out
@Kjcj 
. Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow. Your fears are valid and I’m grateful can find this space to share Although I can understand the hardship on sharing these types of fears - I’m sure your loved ones would love to be there for you given the chance. We are here for you 
. That’s so sweet! Hope all went well with appointments and lab today . Hopefully everything is on track for his procedure in October
Wow…that has to be chaotic and interesting to say the least. I too hope tomorrow is smoother. Hopefully the renovation won’t take too long.
@Happydayz so grateful that you came here when you were at the breaking point and allowed the support to help you. You can see how many people care for you here and want to see you succeed.i am so very sorry for all that you have gone through and are dealing with. I am grateful that you are working on your sobriety. I also found that my anger was unleashed when I got sober. Maybe something we kept muffled while drinking ourselves numb. In my recovery I have been able to work on this so that the anger is not eating away at me. I am not 100% there but far better than where I started. Talking with a therapist may help find the root causes of the anger and provide a healthy way to process . Glad you are here with us. Here’s to another sober day
Checking in on Tuesday night
1364 days free of alcohol and weed
1779 days free of cigarettes
Been a hard day. Not feeling great physically. Glad to be calling it a day soon. Hopefully getting some 
tonight. . wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day…sending you all so much love 
Thank u friend for ur comment. So far things are in place for Oct 6th procedure.
Im sorry that ur not feeling great 
I hope u get some decent sleep so that ur body can reset and heal 
Oh that’s good news
Thanks friend. I am hoping to sleep as well
Randomly checking in at 2,301 days 
a smidgen shy of 6 years and 4 months. Miracles happen, I thought there was no hope for me. If you’re struggling, don’t give up. If you keep trying the same thing and it doesn’t work, try something different. Sobriety is a personal and intricate journey.
I miss coming here often. I’ve been chasing my tail like a lunatic. Hopefully, things settle down soon 
Much love, support, and sober vibes to you all!
Congratulations on 40 years @Ray_M_C_Laren !!
Hey ST Community checking-in in with 440 days Sober. Getting ready for work, I hope everyone has a wonderful night.
Damn. That you’ve been through all of that and you’re still here with us…that’s so impressive. I hear that you’re angry and I don’t have anything useful to say, I’m just glad you’re here
Checking in sober Tuesday night. So grateful to be doing this thing, still, again.
Well done Ray. Keep on truckin.
I loved reading this this morning. 
Checking in: day 186
Yesterday was a mixed bag. Mentally I felt good but physically not. Had a migraine (with aura, the worst) and in the evening my intestines where acting up again. Don’t know if it was something I ate or just my body being an a-hole again but because of it I still feel a bit wonky this morning. The nightmares also didn’t help.
But no rest for the wicked! Early morning therapy today and this afternoon I am going for a walk with one of the new people I met and their dog. But somewhere in between I will be taking a nap. It’s all about balance.
Stay safe and sober and take care of yourself.
Day 1,795 AF
Haven’t checked in a few. Busy with work.
This janitor spot is taking a toll on my busted lower back. Idk if y’all remember, but I’ve been dealing with a bulging disc for years now. Fuckin A. Not sure if it’s gonna work out. Gonna see if I can find a different night job wfh.
Anyway, I got my annual review today at my first job and a raise.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up 4 years and 11 months sober. Getting closer to 5 yrs. Let’s go! 
I hope everyone’s doing well.
Take care. ODAAT
1174
Will probably double my work hours soon, I should know some more today or later this week. It means zero quiet time (at home alone with no kids) for me but oh well, it has to be done. Step by step.
I’m in a hurry, like always 
See you later.
Much love 
Day # 237
Another day at work ticked off. Beautiful weather if i gotta say atleast something positive lol.
Im approaching a personal mile stone soon. In the next week or so +/-. Not sure exactly what day at this very moment. But it will be the longest ive ever been sober in my entire life excluding being a baby up till the first time I ever drank. More to come on this. But im looking forward to this more so then one year or any other also significant milestone.
Considering last time I went sober ( 2019) though that was heavily influenced by fear and medical concerns. I didnt know anything about addiction then. No plan, no work, no recovery… i just didnt drink for 8ish months that was initially kicked off by pain and fear and then it seemed to get easier with time until I eventually picked up again without giving it a second thought.
I know more this time round. Ive put in too much work. Ive actively tried to quit soo many times since that I dont take it for granted.
A wise Man and long term member in this Forum has previously referred to his last relapse as his final relapse. I like this mindset shift and thinking. I really respect that.
I truly beleive I am on my final reset from my final relapse. I am done with that life.
Your coins have little stands. As they should.
Thanks for sticking around. I feel better with you here.
Congrats xxoo