Coming up to 3 months since my last drink, the thoughts are creeping in, I wake up and think of a beer before ive brushed my teeth. I want it so bad I want to smoke again too.
I feel like I’m walking at the edge of a very steep pool and all I want to do is jump back in.
Ive never been so clean and felt so dirty, I look at myself and see all my flaws and weaknesses then the little voice says ‘maybe a beer will take the edge off’ or ‘you didnt feel like this when you smoked’ or ‘have a joint, somthing will unlock and click and everything will be better’
It’s like the closer I get to being on top, the more tempting it is to jump back off, before I fall. man fuck this life. I really want that fucking beer.
Sobriety isn’t the goal Wayne. Sobriety is a tool. You’re sober for a reason. The reason being, you can work on your dirt now. Now is the time.
The little voice is addiction trying to get you back in its clutches. So you keep piling up the dirt instead of working on it, instead of dealing with the dirt, one tool and one day at a time. You can do this friend. Work on your tools, work on your connections. Peer support, therapy, community, self help. Just a few tools there. It’s not easy but it’s totally doable. The only way is forward. F%ck the little voice. F%ck addiction. You got this and we got you. Keep going Wayne. You’re doing better than you think. Three months is huge.
Now that you have some clean time the true reasons you were using pop up. I found talk therapy and alcoholics anonymous helped me learn how to live sober, work thru my crap, and find a fullfilling gratitude for the new way of living.
Nows the time to dig in. Do the opposite of what the addiction is telling you. I wouldnt be surprised if it says isolate to. Like mno says the opposite of addiction is connection. Lean on your supports.
This . This is exactly the time that “will-power” starts to fail. Just not drinking or using is not enough, you have to work on developing a way of living that you don’t want to escape from. It is not easy, for sure, but worthwhile.
@Wayneo … you’ve been given great advice here. You found your way to this community. That wasn’t an accident. Your addiction was causing you trouble, I’m thinking. Don’t forget that.
Nothing will be better regarding your flaws or weaknesses, you will just be numb to the feelings. This is addiction trying to collapse your press up. You need to dig in, chalk up and fight harder. A good place to start would be to do some therapeutic work on those ‘flaws and weaknesses’, it sounds as if you need to be sensitive and understanding of your vulnerabilities. They are screaming to be heard, not numbed out. You can’t outrun your demons.
Stay strong friend Those thoughts that are creeping in, is ur addict thinking trying to convince u that drinking and using will magically solve something or will make u feel better about urself. Its time like this, when u have to “play the tape to the end”. U have to remind urself of why u quit in the first place. Remind urself of all the consequences that will occur if u drink/use. Drinking/drugs serve no good purpose. Maybe writing down ur reasons can help u to remember when ur feeling the urge to drink/use. That way u can just read this list wherever u are. It helped me
Hope ur managing okay today! Continue to reach out for support if u need.
How are you doing today? Hope you took the time to read all those replies you’ve got. I had a few relapses all around the first 3 months. It felt like my system said: “ok, I did it, now what?” For me I had to learn a new way of living. Coping with my emotions instead of numbing them. It was a lot. I had to learn a lot. Trial and error. Check out this thread if you like: What's YOUR plan? It gives a good insight in the stages of recovery and what you can add to your own to make it work. I hope you feel better today!
Hello, don’t give up or give into temptation or stinky thinking, it’s the enemy trying to cheat you out of the good life….go to a lot of meetings / online Zoom meetings & You tube speakers….it takes years to repair all the damage we did out there, but if I can do it then you can too….35 years for me…dont give up or give into temptation….youve got this….Rick
That stupid alcoholic voice is so predictable it will literally tell you anything to get you to take a first drink. It’ll even tell you that it’ll make you feel better… errr no it won’t, it’ll make you feel like total sh*t.
You’ve got to shut down the alcoholic voice, don’t allow it to converse with you or start to bargain or barter. Shut it down immediately with a hard no. You’re not a drinker any more.
man fuck this life. I really want that fucking beer.
. This is exactly the time that “will-power” starts to fail. Just not drinking or using is not enough, you have to work on developing a way of living that you don’t want to escape from. It is not easy, for sure, but worthwhile.
Those thoughts that are creeping in, is ur addict thinking trying to convince u that drinking and using will magically solve something or will make u feel better about urself. Its time like this, when u have to “play the tape to the end”. U have to remind urself of why u quit in the first place. Remind urself of all the consequences that will occur if u drink/use. Drinking/drugs serve no good purpose. Maybe writing down ur reasons can help u to remember when ur feeling the urge to drink/use. That way u can just read this list wherever u are. It helped me 
