Cliques ? Open debate, polite please

Definitely checks out. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

I don’t see cliques, I do see that there are probably 20-30 regular poster/responders to threads.

Don’t worry about likes folks, you got something to say or want to reiterate what has been said with your experience, say it. The more the merrier, we do it together.


Yes - volunteer-led thing - absolutely: any program, any meeting, grows out of the personalities and practices of the people who are there.

I have an interesting (and I think similar) discussion with my wife about sharing our faith with people. She tends to be more assertive about it; I tend to be more of a listener, speaking in general terms, seeking to understand a person’s perspective and appreciate it. At times my wife’s directness makes me uncomfortable. But then when I reflect I realize there’s nothing automatically that says my approach is better; and anyway my wife isn’t saying anything harmful - she’s sharing eagerly and enthusiastically about something that has touched her, positively a d deeply.

I don’t know. What I do know is our life, our heart, our centre - which is what we get to in recovery - is deeply, deeply personal. It’s also full of life and vitality. It’s a complex, vibrant mix :innocent:


No, that’s not just looking for something. There definately is a lot of similarities between the different approaches. Even ACT has been used as a way of recovery and has the same underlying concepts.
It’s like most religions - same message wrapped differently for different crowds in different eras.

What I consider an issue sometimes (as an instituation, not it’s program) is that some members can be very dogmatic.
And of course, since it works for millions, it can be justified in a way but on the other hand, it can “feel” wrong to others.
Most members have a much more open approach to others in my opinion, but as always a few negative experiences leave a stronger and longer lasting imprint then a 100 positive ones…


“…cliques only liking each other’s posts without responding to others…”
Now I think that is an impression impossible to verify, but apparently some experience this.
That is, got this from a PM I received a while back about this same topic.

I believe and replied that was mainly because of the fact that many members mainly are active in the daily check in topic, and that sometimes the amount of new topics is just too many to follow 'm all.

If y’all want some likes just post baby pictures. It’s a sure-fire way to rack em up.

I’ve found that for me to get the most out of this forum I tend to try to not look at who is making the post and just focus on the message. Try to look at it in a vacuum.


It is interesting - like you say there isn’t a right way, different approaches work better or worse for different people. So while one person may get turned off by the more direct approach, for another person it is exactly what they need to hear, when they need to hear it.


Will this do ? :stuck_out_tongue:


Very true, inside the recovery community and outside of it!

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It’ll end up being the most liked post of this thread


Some people get really wrapped up in likes, how many they get and from who.


Interesting though - out of 20 votes, only 11 state there are no cliques.
Three say there are and the remains describe it (I believe) as a normal proces of social grouping.
Makes it hard to deny however that there is such a thing a “cliques”, regardless whether that’s a good, bad or neutral thing.

I hope some more will chime in explaining why some feel “left out” due to this.

Only 3 say there are cliques though?

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Matter of perception regarding the votes “other”.
Only 3 say there are, but only 11 say there aren’t.
Half full, half empty :wink:

I definitely want to hear from the ‘other’ crowd

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I don’t see cliques. I see people who are supporting each other in the best way they know how.
People will always feel like they are unwelcomed or not a part of until they get past their own insecurities and get involved. It would be very easy for me to withdraw on this forum. Keep quite and feel left out. That’s what my whole life has been like and so I am doing everything opposite to what i am used to. Being active in this community is a part of that.


I don’t feel left out, but I do feel there are cliques. Maybe the word was more clearly defined within the thread? But my definition of the word isn’t a negative one necessarily & I voted yes.


Me too.
To clarify a bit better what I meant with “only 11 say there aren’t”, is that I think there are two interpretations / perceptions of the subject. You and many others feel there are no cliques, at least not in a negative way.

So we are conditioned to look at figures, see only 3 vote yes, and conclude your perception is valid - there are no cliques.
For those who dó feel there are though, they will look at the figures concluding only 11 vote no, so will see théir perception also valid.

I voted “other” though, and explained above why : I do see “some” form of cliques and understand people feel it as such. However I consider it normal developments based on reckognition in one another etc.

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  1. a small close-knit group of people who do not readily allow others to join them.

The only Clique in here is the lounge.

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Don’t forget the mods :wink: :stuck_out_tongue:

I heard Patreons have their own thing too!

No but. It was hard to “get into” TS for sure for me. It felt like everyone knew each other etc.
Now I just make the best out of this for my own sobriety.