My last binge, I literally had a bottle stashed in the dark recesses of my messy closet. I took little nips here and there in secret. Amazing how it always feels great and perfectly deceitful, but the mental image of me crouched in my closet, hiding myself to drink straight from a bottle is burning my brain this morning in a bad way, like little tendrils are trying to pull me back into my mess where I had more mess hidden. I hate that version of me. Obviously I am still working on the acceptance PLUS self love and forgiveness part of my recovery. Any others out there who practiced the secret dips habit?
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There’s loooooots of stories like that here. All of us hid our addictions, as if hiding it from other people would be like it never happened; like we didn’t have a problem. 
At some point, everyone realizes what really matters is whether we can look ourselves in the mirror and say we took a step forward today, in the present. We always know what we did or what we didn’t do, and that kind of accountability is liberating 
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Oh yeah. Been there, done that. I would bet most of the people here who are sober from alcohol have done the same. You’re not alone 
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I did that, too. Id hide it until no one was home and drink. Always with the intention of just a few sips, which usually led to more.
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Wow. This hit very close to home. I’m only 5 days sober, so I was literally doing this last week. Sending my son on an “errand” to the other side of the house so I can sneak a quick sip; waiting until my husband starts mowing the lawn, so I know that he won’t walk in on me drinking; keeping multiple hidden flasks so I can grab a drink in secret in any room of the house; keeping a flask in my car, so I can have a quick drink before I run into a meeting or gathering with friends. I feel so guilty. I have literally been lying to my coworkers, family and friends for years. I guess now is as good a time as any to start being honest with myself and them.
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This is a similar thread if you like to read
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For me, I’m very honest about my consumption. This is because, I maintain a functional household. But!!! There are times that I feel my boys wish for something different. They have everything necessary for a good life, but what I found is they hate to see me intoxicated. I gratefil, but I know they only want better for me ‍:arrow_up_down:
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