So friday- Sunday I went on a Xanax binge, tried to kill myself, did some cutting, and yesterday morning I had to take a drug test for color code. It was selfish af but I didn’t realize how much I had to live for or how much I want to change and have that fulfilling life until the night before. I know that might sound crazy but it’s true. I regret the whole weekend and I’m scared to go back to jail. Itd be my own fault but I just need to vent. I know I’m a stranger but I want so much for this second chance at LIFE. If I’m screwed, I guess i am. Sorry…just venting away. I need to find a meeting to go to today/tonight. The color code was part of my bond…
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Hi. I know we don’t know each other but feel free to vent any time. We all make mistakes. You’re human. You want to change. In time you can be the person you want to be. Take care
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Keep your head up…today is a new start
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You’re not as abnormal as you may think, and usually those of us who have thought about just ending it all, never really want to we just don’t know how to live without substances. I was one of those people, terrified of living life without an “out”, until I found recovery, AA and all it offered me. Now, no matter what, I know I can handle whatever life throws at me, at least today, because usually what I think will happen, never comes close. I’m stronger than I ever gave myself a chance to be, and im sure you are as well. Go to your mtgs, get in the middle of it all and do whats suggested…and be patient and kind to yourself. STay strong, stay sober, stay connected! 
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@Nocluey We are here for you! Keep talking and checking in with us. We’ve all felt this way at one time or another. Two and a half years ago I tried to end it with sleeping pills. I know now that that’s not the answer but have lived with medicating myself with alcohol. Now I’m 21 days sober! There are some great stories on here so keep reading and keep sharing. I expect great things from you!
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@Nocluey Where are you? Very concerned …
I’m here. Now I just have an abusive boyfriend to deal.with…yall, I dont know what to do
VENT AWAY! We get stronger from one another.
@Nocluey your story is very similar to mine i tried to end my life … it was a higher power that made me see i was useless. U need to seek for support like a sponsor. Im more concerned of your situation With your boyfriend u need to end that. I really hate abusers. Stay strong and thank u for your honesty. Keep the faith and make that change