I’m in Northern California girl who went to Southern California for college and graduated in 2011. I partied and drank in college but I was also a collegiate swimmer so I had to keep things under control. After I graduated I got into raves and started taking ecstasy and LSD and mushrooms but really when I found cocaine that was when the problem started. I liked it too much and it was too easy to binge with friends and readily available. It’s been 5 years of doing cocaine with friends at parties, festivals, etc. I went through phases of having dealers and spending too much money on it, I also had a couple boyfriends who supplied it to me. I turn into a different person when it’s around - sneaky, manipulative, unhappy.
I’ve been trying to quit for months - I’m three days sober. I had a failed attempt at a party in the desert this last weekend, I thought I would be ok and the dark side took over.
Any advice for these first few weeks of sobriety? The holidays will be nice because being in LA where cocaine is everywhere is the problem, going home will be nice.
@kayTkat well we have the same demon on our shoulder but we can beat him. I’m 4 days in after I had almost 2 weeks in I relapse from not being able to deal with be around people. Stay strong you can do this I’m going through the depression stage right now hoping it passes soon. I just reminding myself that the drug is what made me feel like this so why go back to it. I want to be happy to be a live and clean. Not numb we can keep the demon in the dark permently. While we grow stronger
Glad to hear that we are in the same stage. Having found this app I feel much stronger - I was basically lying to myself every time I used I would say it was the last time but I kept it to myself and separated myself from it. I would feel terrible about myself for a few days then shrug it off.
Yeah I have been trying to stay away from friends and parties, they were a big part of my life before so I feel like I lost a lot of my friends but it’s too hard to be around. Literally everyone had a bag of something - it grossed me out.
The question is, are/were they really friends or were they “fast food friends” as I used to call them. Just people feeding off each other in the moment, and then throw away when done.
Hopefully you can stay sober and sort them out.
If you hit a bump in the road, stay positive and get back on track. Those are only lapses and not relapses.
Keep away from things that put u in Line of triggers . Stay away of thoose kinds of parties. You need to cut it out if you want to stay clean. You can do this ! Do things that you can benefit from positively. You are in charge of your life. Live life as you want it. Its hard but Worth it if not you will die. This is my belifes of my own addictions
With all addictions but, especially designer drugs and cocaine, there is only one way out, and that is to seek help. There is no way you are going to be able to be around the same people and cure this disease. Yes, it is a disease, and the sooner you realise it the better.
You need to separate yourself from these people and, if they no longer want to be your friend, they were not your friend in the first place. You were just one more user they could use with so they do not feel alone. I am sure you know how alone it can be to be a user.
Break free, seek help, which you have already done here, and let us all be your rudder going forward. If things are tight, if things are hard, know that we are here to support.