Hi @SassyRocks you know I am your favorite pain in the ass.
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I experienced this quite a fair amount in my first months here. Most people I don’t have trouble with. Some take a fair amount of time for me to learn to appreciate. There are users I couldn’t stand at first, but have since come to admire and genuinely enjoy having around.
I just had to stick it out. Muting threads is a good strategy. In my case I didn’t want to because I thought I might miss out on anything good that might still happen in the threads. So I would just learn to recognize certain people’s profile pictures and/or names, and when I saw them, only do a rough scan of what they had to say, and with my guards up. You know, those same guards you’d put up in a customer service job… you don’t have to put any stock into what they say or take it personally.
Sometimes when one thing in particular has upset me I will take a day or two to not be very active. I’ll check my notifications and messages so I still feel connected, and keep up on my favourite threads, but am less likely to come across something that will reignite my emotional reaction.
What you’re feeling is a common thing, and normal. No need to feel guilty about it, it is how it is. It’s especially likely to be a lot stronger in the first few months of sobriety because of the adjustments happening in your brain as a response to not having your DOC. Do what you need to do. I hope you find a way to deal with it that involves you sticking around, just because I know that for me having the connection here was important in my recovery. And I am glad you are here and posting, I don’t want to see you go.
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I also live in an area where there is a lot of addiction with related larcenies. It played a big factor in moving a bit out of the fray last year and my family taking some extra security measures.
We can have empathy for our fellow addicts while focusing on our own sobriety by practicing compassionate detachment. Help safely as you can. Detach safely from it as you are able.
I’ve started reflecting often on my own privileges and sheer luck that has gotten me where I am today.
This helps so much when my compassion for others wanes.
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Is there a list? 
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You got the PIA part right! 
And maybe try not to totally derail the thread with a discussion about @Englishd.
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Great responses here, thank you ALL
so much. I love you even though I don’t know you. 
And here’s my final disclaimer: you’ve probably read by now that I’m at my new job this week. I should not have created this post as I walked into my office!!! I’m so distracted! I posted because this topic has weighed on me for 2 days now. I should have waited until after work!
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We’ll still be here. Focus on work and come check it out after work. Good luck with the new job!!!
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After reading this, the only thing I would accuse you of being, is human. People are a mix of their biology, nurture, experiences…and are a mass of dichotomies. Everyone has some level of dysfunction. It’s the yin and yang of living.
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I fixed it for you.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve rubbed people up the wrong way before often with quite a hardlined approach to things at times. There is a lot strong personalities here and with that comes strong opinions and people will clash. I brought a discussion up about compassion in one of the regulars threads because I’m also a little irked by our approach at times and heard the opinions of others; I dont necessarily agree with them all the time but I don’t believe they’re wrong.
Opinions and approaches cant all be the same otherwise we would all be robots - Compassion comes in many different forms but part of your identity is that you dont have to fit in line to what someone else has said; you can disagree and you can voice it! It could be that everyone agrees or everyone disagrees but either way, it still matters 
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I by find anything you’ve said to be particularly problematic. You certainly haven’t said anything that made me think to rip into you; far from it.
You feelings are just that - feelings. They aren’t facts. They aren’t who you are. They are an experience and nothing more. You’re only responsible for how you process them and the actions you take subsequent. That’s it. The fact that you’re here and sharing your thoughts with us is HUGE. That’s you working your recovery and that’s why we’re here. Good job.
If I had to give you criticism, I’d simply say you’re being overly dramatic and you need to let up on yourself. Consider this a hug and a pat on the back and for god sake, don’t let one person keep you away.
If you want to talk a little more about what’s being said, or how the other member is triggering you, feel free to PM me. I’m all ears and confidential.
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@MrCade, over-dramatic?? Who, me!? Ha!!! (I’m being totally sarcastic). Thank you for your sweet words. Hugs.
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If I had to give you piece of advice right now it would be:
Turn your monitor away from the door so no one can see you being on here all day!
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@Englishd, I’m on my phone, and no one is here b/c Friday is a work from home day but I came in anyway 
. Also, I realized, I can’t quit you guys. I get so much out of this forum 
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I believe I know exactly who you are talking about and if it’s who I think then yes it’s extremely frustrating. Almost like it’s some kind of game to him. I also find certain personalities to irk the shit out of me. I just remind myself that it’s about me staying sober. I was once told that you will have to learn to be ok with walking over bodies. I thought it was kinda fucked up at the time but totally get it now. Not everyone will get this.
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I love that you want to have compassion for the person. That alone is really cool. I left the forum once, and wish I didn’t. Looks like you got great responses and I totally get how you feel
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Well spoken 
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That’s the problem, we’re all bloody paranoid now
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Who gives a shit what I think? Seriously! Why would any one of you care about what I think of any of you? My opinion does not matter! The only thing that matters is your sobriety and safety! That’s all I care for about for everyone.
And for the record, the person in question is not using. I just think they are a giant troll, trolling all of us. That is MY problem. No one else’s. I wish I could delete this f-img thread.
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Oooh, that last little bit I wrote gave me just the energy I needed at the gym right now!!! Now I’m happy.
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