Interested in people’s thoughts on combating complacency in their recovery program.
A guy at my meeting was back after relapsing 6 months ago having had 4 years of sobriety.
I’m nearly a year sober for the first time since I was 16 and I want to keep progressing and wondered what could have made him go back out and how can I make sure it’s not me?
A few thoughts and reminders of my own to help me keep focused and avoid the complacency.
In no particular order…
Keep it simple
Take time out
Keep growing my support group - I meet some pretty amazing people.
Talk to my sponsor regularly
Check in here for accountability
Be of service to others as best I possibly can.
You’re nobody’s fool, respect yourself.
Exercise regularly, live a healthy lifestyle which requires sobriety.
Eat when I need to eat - don’t get Hangry
A glimpse in the rear view mirror means keep driving forward.
Meditation helps ALOT not just for staying sober, but for dealing with life as it comes which helps you stay balanced and sober.
Some people are just different from you - sometimes they’re jerks, wish them peace.
It’s none of your business what other people think - thanks @Gabe.G for this one.
Step 10, 11 and 12
Who am I to say there is no God?
Remember to meditate/pray/connect with your HP daily.
Think in a positive language.
Sleep when I’m tired - Take a break.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
If I avoid the first drink, I stay sober. I want to be sober, so avoid the first drink.
Don’t know, he just shared it happened, but just reminded us all of the nightmare it is. I didn’t get to chat to him as I was talking to another newcomer.
Yes, I am keen to work with others but don’t want to force it and think I need a bit more time. I’ve chaired and shared at our meetings but haven’t found anyone to sponsor yet. I’m also conscious I have to let it happen when it happens.
Great lady spoke on the powerless front tonight at my group, she so got it, talking about us turning to alcohol and focusing on Bills story and how he talks about turning to alcohol and the gradual rise of habitual daily drinking from just weekends to 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 days a week. I’m always amazed at the things I learn and the different perspectives people have which helps me think differently.
She talked about needing it to survive, I never got to her stage, but I certainly identified with her logic around powerlessness (I do not wish to open that debate again).
In one of the speaker CDs I listened to alot early on, the guy talks about keeping his sobriety “above the horizon – as a real piece of work”. I took it to heart. I try to keep it there. So I:
Do my readings
Go to meetings
Avoid resentment like the plague
Avoid fantasizing about my life like the plague.
And make myself of service – whether to other drunks or whoever!
Shoot man, you are voicing how I felt when I was coming up on a year. I was doing ALOT of reflection of the past year sober. The gratitude I felt was surreal. But there was also some sad moments.
The sadness was “this same time last year” shit for me. My wife and I were seperated for the first 5 months of my recovery so I was getting flooded with memories of that time. It was the worst pain of my life.
It was weird man. I’ve completly accepted that all of that pain Had to happen. I have accepted that Everything happened exactly the way it was supposed too. cuz if anything happened different, my wife and I prolly wouldn’t be back together and we sure as fuck wouldn’t be having a baby on May 22nd.
I was also like you in that I wanted to be proactive. I have heard too many stories just like the one you shared about someone you knew that went out. Stories about milestones or people getting complacent. They all start the same, “I stopped going to meetings”. I wasn’t gonna make that mistake. I went to a lot of meetings from month 11 till basically now somewhere close to 14 months. I stayed very close to my herd man. I prayed more too. But I think the biggest thing I did that was different for me was I talked to an alcoholic every day.
Before this I would talk to people at meetings and talk to my sponsor but not every day. If I went to 1 or 2 meetings that week then I only talked to a fellow alcoholic once or twice that week. Other than on here of course. But it’s not the same.
So in my 11th month it was suggested to me to call at least one friend in the program every day. Just to check in, ya know. And man it took that edge off that I was feeling. A drink never crossed my mind but that didn’t mean I wasn’t “off”. So It really helped me to chat with someone in the program for a few minutes everyday.
Thanks for sharing pal and thanks for letting me share:)
Also I heard someone share about the “24 hours a day” book. Or something like that. I’ve never seen it but it sounds cool. I guess it’s kind of like Daily Reflections where it has a page for every day. It has a daily prayer and a daily story/tips on what to do that day to work on recovery. It sounds cool. I’m gonna check it out
