Thank you for saying that. After reading this my immediate thought was “why, no one would any way”
I grew up in a house that was violent and reckless where there was in fact not a lot of help to be had. I just remember being let down and disappointed a lot. Now I protect myself from the pain of relying on people and being let down.
My girlfriend helps with this and I genuinely feel more grounded to my reality. Helped and loved.
I never realized no one offers because I don’t ask. I never noticed the distance I kept people at to keep myself “safe”
Yeah. Growing up, I was protected and oblivious from most of that at home and felt safe. But then I witnessed it elsewhere, and was badly bullied outside the home. Still I think that’s where it came from for me. Mostly I somehow stayed balanced, but it comes out more on the job.
I’ll try and play the hero at work. Do it all myself. Thinking I’m the only one who would or could. At worst it becomes feeling like I have something to prove, or the only way to prove my worth.
In my sobriety years I was forced to rethink that. Even made a supervisor where I really can’t think that. I’ve had to learn how to stand back so other people have room to step forward and grow.
It’s still hard to “sit on my hands” sometimes and ask how I can help instead of barging in, thinking I know better. A leap of faith in those around me. But when I do, I’m never disappointed. I’m surrounded by good people who do amazing things.
They are not those bullies. They’re friends who can be trusted. They just need to be given the chance.
It’s so much more rewarding than the way I used to do things. Cuz I feel like I’m part of something, a group, that’s so much bigger than I alone could ever be.
And writing all this, thinking of how you say you feel this in your relationship, I have to ask myself if I’m really applying this in my personal relationships lately.
