So tomorrow I’m seeing my best friend because she wants to tell me everything I did while drunk on our last night out that ended up badly. I know this is necessary and maybe shame is going to help me stop drinking. But I’m a very anxious person and I already feel sick about tomorrow I can’t stop crying I hate myself I know this is going to be so embarrassing. And she can be very cold so I know she’s not going to sugarcoat it (pretty fair tho) I just need to vent a bit she’s my best friend so I don’t know ou to talk to right now.
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Welcome. Sounds like you had a bad night. And things you are not proud of at least the ones you remember, right. We all have many stories of our drunken stupidness. And I wish that Shame would be enough not to ever drink again but sadly that is not the case for many. If you are serious about not picking again. you need a plan and support. Like here or AA, etc.. what are you going to do the next time a drink sounds good? @Majovanilla
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If you feel that you have a bad relationship with alcohol that is really all that matters. Whether you are an alcoholic or just abused it. The problem remains the same.
If you drink to a black out state, when you drink, you probably have a problem with alcohol. If you struggle to go a day or two without alcohol, you have a problem. If you can’t stop at just one, probably have a problem.
Not all alcoholic get the shakes. Not all alcoholic are disfunctionally.
I wish you the best on your journey. I hope you never have another embarrassing night due to alcohol. Read around lots of good information. This is good thread, lots of good information What's YOUR plan?
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Hey @Majovanilla that conversation sounds like it’s going to be hard. It’s difficult to hear how we let people down. One thing you can do, though, is to take actual concrete steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Being here, going to meetings, having a plan in place–all of those things can help you along a path where you never have to wonder what you said or did when you were blacked out. I’m speaking from experience, not a high horse. 
Feel free to come back here and talk it out with us if you need to; I’d bet most of us have dealt with that shame…and we’re here working making better decisions. You can do this. 
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Absolutely not true. You’ve tried to pin it down to a black and white. Its things like this that stop people from seeking help before the progression because they justify the “ atleast i dont do such and such”
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. A spectrum of sorts. Not just a binary system as you made it sound.
Myself, as an alcoholic. Have a successful career, house, married and kids and no debt. Work hard all day and drink everynight. ( used to). Progressive nature would see me lose all that. My health was suffering and relationships starting to. The thoughts become all too consuming and the mental obsession about it overtaking my life.
I see your DOC is PMO? Perhaps be mindful not to jump into giving too much advice on something thats not directly your DOC. A little encouragement is fine sure but this seemingly harmless information you said is one of those things that really puts alcoholics in a box and stopped me from seeking help for years.
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Hi. Thank you for your feedback. It’s certainly given me much to think about. To clear things up I did say in the post that its from my ‘limited opinion’. It wouldn’t be right giving out opinions in a community as sensative as this without reminding people that I am just a stranger. My aim is never to judge or proffess, only to give people encouragment and something to consider that maybe they hadn’t before.
And yes, you’re right. My addiction is PMO, im not an alcoholic. However, I do have experience with alcoholism. My father died of alcoholism, he was a functioning alcoholic (high paying job) until he wasn’t anymore. I lay awake at night sometimes wondering if I could have done more to help him. I have other family members who are currently fighting alcoholism, it’s truly painful to watch. It’s a disease. I like to offer support because it took the greatest man I ever known from me.
Now you pointed out some things to me, thats fair. I’ve found this community very helpful and I intend to replenish the well I drink from, so I imagine we will see familiar names pop up often. However, please dont ever imply that I come from a place of in-experience, or mal intent and that I should ‘stay in my lane’ when you dont know the first thing about me or what I’ve been through.
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Hello,
Fellow abuser here, I do not call myself an alcoholic, kind of like not calling yourself a POs everyday, if you tell yourself you are then maybe you are. I was a binge user, would go weeks between use then feel the need to feel different, or maybe not feel at all. I recently did a psychedelic journey at The Mission Within, there’s a lot to unpack from that but one thing it really did is help me let go of the shame I was holding onto from many, many nights like you’ve mentioned. I’m sure the 12 step programs work, as making amends would help alleviate that, however being present in this moment and loving yourself for the great person you are will help you alleviate some of that. You’ve already completed the embarrassing action, can’t undo that, remember who you are and why you’re on this journey, love yourself! The shame and guilt would put me into depression every time, I can say at 45 days AF, I have a much better mindset and can say I’ve done nothing I regret so far! That was meant for the original author, sorry!
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Thank you I feel similar. I do not really crave it but 2 times a month I need to go berserk and just destroy everything around me. And it’s hard to not hate yourself in those moments but you’re right by taking care of this problem will be an act of self love and I deserve it and you deserve it too and thank you very much for your comment 
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Thank you so much, we saw each other it was not easy for me but she was hurt to so I tried to be matured. I promised I’ll not let myself down again for me but also for her. Thank you for you comment it was very kind and mindful wish you the best
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Yes! Right now I’m seeking therapy and I also might have some issue with bipolarity disorder. I want to start with therapy and it already feels really good talking to you guys about this with no judgement. My heart feels less heavy
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Thank you! And you were right it was really embarrassing but it went find and I was able to say sorry for real thank you your post appease me before going 
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I really admire your willingness to sit and listen to her. That’s hard. You could have tried to avoid it but you didn’t, and I think that’s awesome. I see you already working to build something better for yourself.
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Thats not very nice. Someone else bought up an objection to my comments previously which were mostly fair. I strongly invite you to read my response next time before you react in such a manner.
I have already taken notes on how I should approach matters like this in the future. No one is perfect in this community, I think we can all agree on that. However I think we are here for civilised and constructive discussion, rage and profanity solves nothing.
I will always offer support for those suffering with addiction, especially alcohol as I have witnessed first hand how destructive it can be.
I remind you that this community is meant to be a safe space for those suffering with addiction. If I get things wrong then please, make the argument against it. I refuse to be bullied or intimidated.
I strongly recommend next time that you conduct yourself in a manner conducive to a supportive environment please.
Let us all remember that (the vast majority of us) are not trained medical professionals. We share from our personal experience and where we are in our own personal learning journey. We are here to offer support and community.
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Maybe dont go to see your friend maybe go to a meeting instead wish you well
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i recommend that you refrain from spreading scientifically false things about stuff you know obviously nothing about.
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I think you are being unfair. As the moderator has pointed out, most of us here are not medically trained, we are merely sharing our experiences (and alcoholism is something I know quite well) and opinions. I appreciate that I may not have as much academic data and such as someone like yourself and others here, and I’ve already stated that I will be more mindful in the future. I think you should also be mindful not to insult and dimish experiences of people you know nothing about. From what I understand the post has been blocked now anyway as is one of yours.
I imagine we will be seeing our names often in this community so why dont we put this behind us and focus more on community and support.
I’ve taken no offence, I think theres just been a misunderstanding.
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fine, all good 
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