I just joined, never did anything like this before. 10 days clean BC I need to pass a drug test but not sure that I really wanna stop otherwise. I speedball (mix heroin & cocaine ived together) which is the best high ever. I feel like it makes me a better person/mom BC then I actually feel good & have energy to do things (I have chronic back pain that makes it hard to function) so Im torn BC I don’t wanna depend on anything but Im also not sure that ill be able to actually live my life enjoyably otherwise. Not even sure why Im writing this but hoping it’ll help in some way.
2 Likes
Oh @Bria - of course you deserve better than what the drugs give you…but so do your children!!! Of all the MANY things that I regret about my years and years of drinking, it’s the example I’ve been to my kids, the moments I’ve lost with them that I can never get back and the times I’ve put them in harms way. I know the mantra in these forums is “do it for yourself”, but really, once we become a parent, isn’t it our duty to protect our kids? We protect them from all other dangers…sometimes not realizing we may be their biggest threat! 10 days is a lot of time invested in sobriety. Why don’t you just keep it going a little longer… Good luck! 
2 Likes