I’m not sure where to start. I guess that’s because I’m not sure where it started. I’ve been drinking for years. I’m Irish and in construction, so for a long time I just kinda considered it a normal part of life. But over the past few years it started getting heavy. Got to the point I would drink half a 26 to my face and pass out on the daily. My wife noticed and called me out on it back in January. I’ve been “trying” to quit for months. Got it down a lot too. By down a lot, I mean maybe once or twice a week. Problem is, when I slip and start drinking, I revert to the same pattern. I’ll open the bottle and drink until I pass out.
Yesterday, I drank, passed out, woke up 2 or 3 hours later, and then I finished the bottle. Long story short, I slept at my parents house because I knew my wife would notice the alcohol on my breath… And that I was wasted.
I don’t like this. I don’t like who I’ve become. I want to be rid of this entirely. Does anyone have any tips that might help me to stop relapsing?
It sounds like you need some “in real life” sober support. Have you tried going to a meeting? It can sound scary but it really does help just to hear stories from other people who are just like you.
Other than that I would recommend seeing a therapist and being open and truthful about your drinking. We can’t receive the appropriate help until we are completely honest about the problem.
I’m certainly not qualified to give any tips but there are a lot of people on here with a lot of sober/clean days under they’re belt and I’ve found it helpful to read, read, read as much as possible and after reading I’m willing to do everything possible to not pick up again which includes well and truly stepping out of my comfort zone and start attending meetings. Welcome to ts and I wish you the best
Welcome, @BigRed90! Your struggles are the same that many of us have had. I was a booze fighter for years. But not a very good one, I can’t recall winning any bouts!
As you will read on the forum, we each of us got to the point where we would do anything to get and stay sober - or at least we would finally do what we had been holding in reserve for “when it gets really bad”. Exactly where that line was differs for each of us, as was what had to happen to prepare us to step off into the unknown, into abstinence and sobriety. You will also read plenty of posts from people who thought or wished they were at that place, but found that they still withheld something that prevented a total commitment to sobriety.
Along with the losses and consequences, I think we each also gain some experience and history with sobriety before it really takes hold in us. We have to germinate the seed of sobriety, holding it inside until it really is ready to break out of the shell of denial and apathy and inertia and self-loathing and whatever else we use to bury it.
The practical experiences I can relate are the things I did to maintain my abstinence and grow it into a deeply rooted and contented sobriety.
*Consulted with my physician for Antabuse
*Returned to counseling with the express purpose of being accountable for my sobriety.
*Returned to AA meetings, got a sponsor at my 2nd meeting and did whatever he suggested that I do.
*Started my mornings with fumbling prayer and meditation and writing in a journal on sobriety and AA step work related questions.
*Stopped reading the daily newspaper, the political situation at the time upset me terribly and I had to ignore it.
*As a consequence of my last arrest, I had to report to the police station every morning, 7 days a week and provide an alcohol free breath sample or face immediate incarceration. I do not recommend getting arrested as a sobriety growing experience, but it is what happened to me. Also, that was definitely not the first arrest, or first reporting experience I had.
I hope some of this helps you. It certainly helps me to recall it and write it out, so thank you for prompting me. Blessings on your house, friend .
Hey! Welcome! So, let me ask you, do you want to quit or does your wife want you to quit?
I don’t mean to sound crass. One one point in my life my wife was wanting me to quit and I deep down I knew I should quit, but I didn’t want to, for whatever reasons. And so any attempt to quit was half assed. It wasn’t until I wanted to to quit for myself that I decided to quit.
I think when you do it for yourself, it makes it a lot easier to let go of the lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to. At least, that’s been my experience.
I guess you have to be honest with yourself and ask how DONE are you really?
until you reached that point and you can fully surrender your going to run into a lot of issues. I for one was waking up and drinking every morning and not functioning. Everyone around me has always drank a ton so it was always “normalized”. What I was doing was not normal. I have so much ptsd that I couldn’t handle the anxiety or the triggers that came up so I just drank to not feel or think, and it worked for a while until the point I was actively trying to kill my self. I also struggle with mental health issues so my story may be a little different, but today I am feeling healthy. I am thinking clear. I am making friends in sobriety as an adult, smiling, laughing… something I didn’t think was possible. I have hope. Things aren’t always great. I’ve had a couple pretty bad days, but I just keep trying to make the better decision and in turn it eventually makes me feel better because I have something to be proud of. I feel like every human searches to find purpose in your life and when you start feeling direction in someway it makes you hopeful and grateful.
I had to reach my lowest point multiple times before I was ready. And it’s only through knowledge of fellow peers and reading that I realized how badly I do not want to get back to that point. That shit was really dark… but I feel the lightness seeping in and you can too
Hi and welcome here!
Please stick around, this app is a great help when you use it! You asked for tips, here are mine:
Make yourself a plan, a sober plan. What are you going to do when cravings pop up? What are you going to do when friends invite you to a bar? What are you going to do when you are celebrating your birthday? Etc.
Just think ahead of difficult things ahead to avoid relapses. Make that plan!
Here’s mine, it kept me sober untill now (almost 9 months sober).
No alcohol in my house
Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
Telling my spouse about my sober plan
Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
Having a day counter
Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
Taking a strong vitamine B complex
Taking melatonin to help me sleep
Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
Hey. I wanted to thank you for this. I posted today explaining some stuff, but this morning I read this comment and it really got me thinking.
I’m pretty sure you were right. Because despite me saying I wanted to quit, I was always planning how and when I could drink again. I wasn’t trying to quit at all. I was just telling her that I was.
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