I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, no one really knows how to be an adult. We are just making it up as we go. I’ve asked many people, and the answer is the same, “I have no idea what I’m doing”.
Not knowing how to handle situations you’ve never encountered before is the foundation of stress. The more you have encountered these situations the better you are at dealing with them because you now know what to expect.
Many of the suggestions you’ve received are what I refer to as “timeouts”. They are activities that take us out of the moment and put us into a state of mental clarity so that we can effectively problem solve.
Another source of stress is when you attempt to control the things that are out of your control. The easiest way to handle this is to let go if your emotional attachment to these things. It’s not something that happens overnight, it can take months or years of divesting before you’re clear from it.
What are my effective timeouts?
Meditation - I use this for immediate relaxation and relief. When stress is high, heart rate is up, adrenaline flowing, a good 5 minute meditation works wonders.
Walking - sometimes nothing clears your head like a good walk.
Working out - Good for releasing pent up frustration, anger and stress energy.
Prayer - When I’m in a situation when I really dont know what to do, I ask for guidance. Prayer doesn’t always mean your talking to “God”. In fact, I ask the milk in my fridge for guidance because I know it’s always there, it has nothing better to do, and for all I know, it has more experience handling the situation that I need help with than I do. Prayer is a tool that reminds us that we are not in control.
5 minute timeout - family stresses me out because still have not successfully been able to control them, nor have I let that notion go (character defect). So, when I’m with family, I need to take timeouts to hold on to my sanity. I usually take 5 in a bathroom where I can be alone.