Try this again. My frustration builds with every disappointment as that I did it again happens. I get it happens often at first but this is a new thing for me. I guess I am not even a month In to really trying to stop drinking. But I know I am extremely hard on myself. So day one week 3. Oh wait its actually day 2 still week 3. I didnt drink yesterday. So tired I just laid around. Witch doesnt help either. Still waiting to hear the big pop. Wonder when I will get there. Maybe I need to post more idk. This is only the second post I have done on here as I am still learning. Have a great day its Monday what could go wrong?
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How about you try and focus on what could go right? Sobriety is a completely different midset from using. Focus on the positive.
You can’t be disappointed if you let go of your expectations of the future. No more tomorrows, just todays. If you do the right thing today, tomorrow just seems to consistently work it outself out in your favor, especially when you can see and feel the positive instead of seeking the negative.
Keep struggling. We all do, whether you’re 1 day sober, 365 days sober or 1000 days sober.
Do you work a program of action? What tools do you have in your box to achieve and maintain sobriety? Any real world support you can lean on?
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I didnt mean that in a negative way but I do see how negative it was. An you are right about focusing on the good instead of the negative.
I cant honestly say I have any tools in my box. I do not have a program of action or any real world support to help me maintain my sobriety. I have called about a meeting yet have not been to one.
Hey @Nikkicar, glad you came back. I could not have stayed sober without a program and real life people to lean on. Finding sober friends, working a program, and telling my famiy/friends I was not drinking has kept me from picking up for 432 days. This app is Amazing but I really needed to hear and see and feel what other addicts were experiencing during their recovery. Hold strong this is not easy but it does get easier.
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Well, this would be a good place to start. For sobriety to “stick” you need to go “all in”. You need to be willing to do anything, try anything, to give you the best chance of staying sober, even if it is outside of your normal “comfort zone”.
Some suggestions:
-Post more here. Interact with other members. Ask questions. Vent about your challenges. Share your successes. This app is like a meeting in your pocket, that is running 24x7x365. Someone is always here, so you are never alone.
-Go to a meeting. Try it out. You don’t have to say anything, until you are ready to. Meet some people who have “chewed the same dirt” you are chewing on now, gone through what you are going through. You might end up like @C-sun with a whole surrogate family of sober people, helping when times are tough, sharing when times are good.
-Pick a goal, and then pour your energy into achieving it. Maybe it’s running a marathon, or learning to dance the tango. Maybe learning to play the guitar or obtaining a professional license that will help your career. For me, it’s Krav Maga, and getting the next belt. Really doesn’t matter, as long as it is something with measurable progress that you can track, kinda like “days sober”. This is key as while sobriety must be central to our lives, if it is all we focus on, we will limit ourselves. Gotta live!
My daily goal is pretty simple: Keep getting better at getting better, each and every day. Better husband and father. Better employee and co-worker. Better friend. Better Krav Maga practitioner. Better. Stronger. Faster. Smarter. Happier…Sobriety is the foundation upon which this house is built.
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Get that tool kit built. AA, IOP, SMART, a church. Any group with positive action and people striving for sobriety.
It’s better to start full throttle, foot mashed on the accelerator than it is to start of soft and not hook up/no traction. After some time you can ease off the accelerator as you get comfortable and figure what is working for you.
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I use to do shaolin kung fu. But that was many years ago now. Also working out helps. I use to do photography an have very slowly started doing it again. Not realizing that I have missed doing it. As for family support I dont have any close not even remotely. Thus is why I have been trying to find other ways. Looking for a local hiking group now as I really dont like sitting still.
I am not hot on the idea of a meeting because ding ding I dont like to talk to others I dont know let alone in a group of people. But I know I should try.
Thanks for the advice!
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As I said I am just starting so as you will probably want to high five your forehead as I ask but what is IOP and SMART?
Nah. None of those moments, we all start somewhere.
IOP is intense outpatient. It’s a group therapy based on addiction and lead by a counselor with addiction in their background. Normally 3 meetings, 3 times a week. I learned a lot from my IOP, had a fantastic counselor to whom I still check in with occasionally.
SMART is a recovery program, I’m not well versed in it but it helps a lot of people. Tagging @anon37742172 and @Englishd as they know a lot more about it than I do. Search the term smart in the magnifying glass search bar up on top amd peruse the topics. They have quite a few that are current and ongoing.
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Thank you for the information.
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Why not get back into it? What I enjoy most about Krav is not the physical benefits (which are many), and not the confidence that honing combative skills brings. No. It’s the discipline. Throwing myself at something I am striving to master. As Mayomoto Mushashi wrote in the Book of Five Rings, in striving to master one thing, I am learning to master all things, because I am learning discipline.
In learning to live sober, I am really learning mastery of self. Mastery of actions, emotions, thoughts, reactions, behaviors. It’s learning to be comfortable, being uncomfortable. This is where I grow, outside of my comfort zone. My comfort zone was in a wine bottle. Sobriety was uncomfortable at first, until I learned to be comfortable with this discomfort. Coming here, discussing addiction, was discomforting at first, until I became comfortable with being in a constant state of discomfort, rather than seeking comfort in my addiction.
I’m not saying that all the answers lie in the dojo, but you might find the right questions to ask of yourself.
Peace.
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I do not believe there is king fu here. An yes I to lived a very structured life. For many years. Discipline is something everyone needs. I know I need to restructure my daily life. Four days a week I have it together. But 4 days a week my life is very time oriented. It’s the other three that are causing me issues. New week new day. I will get this down some how as I want to. But I think finding other like minded people would be a big help. Just worried about the unknown. Thanks for chatting with me today! Maybe I need the ability to talk more then I new.
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learning to live sober, I am really learning mastery of self. Mastery of actions, emotions, thoughts, reactions, behaviors. It’s learning to be comfortable, being uncomfortable. This is where I grow, outside of my comfort zone. My comfort zone was in a wine bottle. Sobriety was uncomfortable at first, until I learned to be comfortable with this discomfort. Coming here, discussing addiction, was discomforting at first, until I became comfortable with being in a constant state of discomfort, rather than seeking comfort in my addiction.
I love this quote Yoda.
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