I have been following your journey Stacey and praying for you. You are going to sleep sober and that’s all that matters right now. Take it one minute at a time. It’s so hard during those first few days and we’re all here cheering you on. Rest well. 
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What, midway through what you are doing? Absolutely! Obviously somethings you can’t but say your cooking and you start getting an urge or a thought you don’t want…stick some music on or if you have it on change the track to a dancey tune and have a little boogie. Just that instant change can bring your thoughts back into line.
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Like a state change when teaching. It’s like when people start losing interest or are concentrating too hard or on the wrong thing, you suddenly change direction or play a game and it like refreshes everyone so they retain things better.
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Goodnight, excellent job. Happy you made it one more day.
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Yep, exactly. Unfortunately I’m useless at finding/ knowing the correct terminology for things. But I know what I’m trying to say.
Goodnight Stacey.
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I got like no sleep last night. Today is gna be tough to get through 100%.
Goodluck today everyone
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Sorry to hear that. It was a rough night for us here last night too. Hope you find the energy to make it through the day. 
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How are you doing @crystalclear?
Yeah I am so tired. I have a couple hours of work to do today and I am soooo tired. I’m tempted to take pills to get started but it’s just gna be swapping one high for another. So I wont do that. But I have no idea how I am gna muster up the energy to get through it. Dying…
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It’s been a long day. Heading home from my daughter’s therapy appointment that we rushed to after I got off work. Running on fumes. Lots of caffeine helped me focus at work today. I put in a full 8 hrs on 5 hrs of sleep. Not sure how. I was thinking about going to a meeting tonight but after I get home and cook dinner I think I’ll just chill until bedtime. I think it’s very self aware to not take a pill to get through the day. I have to be careful about trading one addiction for another too. Hang in there!
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Stacey I read your posts and always get emotionally into them. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make you all better but I’ve broke it keep hitting myself on the head. I can let you know we are thinking of you and understand you. I had to check your real name so when I pray for you it goes to the right person. Where does swam come from. Not where do you live but your name.
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Man it sounds so rough. I feel ya! Well done for getting through it! Rest tonight will definitely be amazing! Go you!
I really appreciate your prayers. God knows your heart though and who you are praying for. I dont think He gets confused about which prayers are for who .
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@Swam Stacey you are awesome! I missed this new thread completely. You put tears in my eyes.
I recognize so much of what you are saying.
The fact you went, you stayed and you read.
And I kinda feel you have accepted the fact you are addicted.
Now it is time to see that we are “not that bad” at all. We are ill. Would you blame a MS patient for being ill? I know the answer so neither should we blame ourselves, we do need to acknowledge the facts and start to be responsible.
And let me tell you last night you took a huge step in being responsible. Did I say you are awesome allready?
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you’re too sweet.
I am not sure I am convinced it is an illness for me, I guess because I did it to myself. People with illnesses dont usually choose to be sick. I guess it makes me guilty because it’s my own stupid fault for relying on destruction for help. It doesnt feel like an illness. I dont know. I’ve heard it said, but I’m not sure I get it…
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So…I guess from my lack of using maybe? I dna…I am soooo ill today. Feels like a stomach bug but I dont think it is tbh.
I was supposed to go to work but I bailed. I’m so tired and I feel so gross and I feel guilty because the lady I work for really needs me atm and I’m being such a flake.
Sigh…
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Agitated as 
Sorry to hear that. I’m heading to bed 
but will say a prayer for you dear one. Hope you get to feeling better soon.
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Sorry you’re agitated. Glad you’re still here though. Keep fighting through this. You can find your happiness.
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