Daily Gratitude - Recovery from Porn Addiction


#102

Today, I am grateful for a few things:

  1. I am seeing myself in a new light. I am changing a bit, though ever so slowly. Regardless the speed, the destination is what I am focusing on. I am grateful for being pointed in the right direction.

  2. Not every day is a good day, and not every moment is a good one. Yet, though these moments, I am more grateful and thankful for the good ones, and even happier during them. These hard moments always become something of a foundation in the end.

  3. I often stress about the future, and complain how busy I feel, but maybe I should change my viewpoint a bit and instead be thankful for being wanted and needed so much. I am thankful for being loved and included, and need to not take that for granted.

Looking forward to continuing gratitude :slight_smile:


#103

I’ve been allowing lust to creep back into my life. I’ve been forgetful of the ways that it brought me low and the choices I made that I’m not proud of while I was deep in addiction. These thoughts of moderation have been constant lately. I don’t know if it’s something I’m not doing/doing wrong or if I’m just not a stern with the addict as I used to be. Trying to get back on track with my gratitude.

Today I so thankful for:

  1. An outlet to share. Getting my thoughts and feelings out helps to strengthen my resolve.

  2. Rest. My body feels tired. I feel zapped of energy and my exercise routine is feeling stagnant. I’m intending to listen to my body and nourish my mind instead. I will focus on diet to ensure I’m not overindulging.

  3. My partner. No matter what we’ve done to each other, I will always respect her. She’s got an iron will and a emotional strength I can’t begin to match. Since starting her new job, she’s kicked into overdrive. I’m just going to do what I can to support her and stay out of her way so that I can foster this trajectory she’s on.


#104

It’s hard to be grateful when I have been so stressed lately, but I needed to post today more than ever before.

  1. I made it a week! I am a week clean! Never made it this long except the time I went 12 days and relapsed. So now I’ve done it twice, and I am very thankful for this app supporting me along the way.

  2. I am thankful for life. I had two family members pass in the last 4 days (a great-grandma whom was 97 on Thursday, and an aunt in her 30s or 40s just about an hour or so ago). I am thankful that I am alive and for the opportunity I have to be on this earth. I also am thankful for my religion, and for the knowledge in our church about seeing them again someday. I am thankful for the life that follows this one, as well.

  3. I gave a good talk in church (dang, I spoke about my church twice in one post…if you didn’t know better you would think I was pushing it on you guys. Sorry about how it might look right now haha). I was quite nervous for the talk, and happy it went well. Stake Conference is a big meeting, but I think I held up to the occasion.

I may not check in tomorrow due to the funeral of my great-grandmother, and the immediate needs of aunt and their family. I worry about my cousins more than anything else. I will keep you all posted, in gratitude as I can find it, over the next few days. Stay sober, my friends; life is easier to deal with and happier along the way if you are. (and so, bonus: 4. I am grateful for that, as well.)


#105

You gave a talk in Stake Conference? That’s kind of a big deal. Dont be “Ashamed of the Gospel of Christ”. No one here on this thread is going to be offended by you talking about your religion, I’m sure. It’s not like we’re trying to convert them.


#106

Haha, yeah they wanted me to speak on the new “Come, Follow Me” curriculum, and I a the Sunday School President in my ward. I was a bit nervous everybody would be like: Oh of course he would talk about that. But they received it well I think haha :slight_smile:


#107

Using this thread as a bit of a gratitude journal of sorts.

Today I’m so thankful for:

  1. Tenacity. I’ll keep going in my sober journey no matter how tired I am. I’ve exhausted every excuse to use. I’m no longer hopeless. I’m desperate and that is a gift.

  2. A new perspective. I don’t have to see uncertainty as anxiety inducing. There is opportunity and potential there in the chapters I’ve yet to write.

  3. Discovery. I get a new lease. I have been aimlessly lost. And arrogantly refusing to admit it. Ihave goodness in my future and I get to see with clear eyes when I experience them. I was not present in my own life for 20+ years. I’m still prone to wanting to escape but I’m learning to be comfortable with the here and now and the emotions that arise.


#108

Today I’m thankful for:

  1. Rounding the corner into spring. It’s been a chore keeping up with the cold and the snow. I tend to forget that I’m the owner of a home that kept my family very warm and cozy despite the weather. There are some great warm days ahead for skiing and I’m going to take advantage of that as much as I can.

  2. Discomfort. Growth is impossible without it.

  3. Space. Elbow room. I live in a place that is about as rural as one can get in the lower 48. It’s rough sometimes when I want some fellowship with sober folks (or anonymity). But my life could be a lot more stressful in other ways if I opted for the city life. Soon there will be warmth and gardening and dirt under my fingernails. Sometimes the work ahead feels daunting and I want to bury my head in the sand. I just need to learn some skills in planning and management.


#109

So I only have one thing that I am grateful for today (I will get more in the near future, I promise haha), and that is this:

  1. I saw the light at the end of my addiction.

Like, it was weird haha. For a brief moment I saw me in the future, and I was happy! I was joyful! I looked back at my past and didn’t even want to go back! And then, shortly afterwards, I returned to ‘reality’ and lost the vision I want to be daily so much.

So, I think I have committed to my new life more than ever before. I truly believe I can make this change a real change! I am grateful for this light in my eyes again, and plan to hold to it and never let it out of my sight again!


#110

185 without acting out, day 25 without pot.

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last gratitude post and I’m sensing that addict mentality creeping back in.

Today I’m so grateful for:

  1. The Discomfort. Must mean that there’s a breakthrough coming. I’m developing a routine. There’s been some silly justifications for not implementing it.

  2. My improved ability to communicate with my spouse. She was recruited to be in a theatre production a year from now. It’s a big commitment and it’ll take extra support from me to give her time to make it happen. I felt some selfish feelings welling up initially but had the clarity to sidestep that mess.

  3. The lessons that everyone carries with them. I am guilty of arrogance. Maybe more so than most. Judgement and disdain were programmed into me. I’m working every day to let that shit go. Humility is a gift.


#111

It’s been too long sense I have been grateful for something, so let’s change that today!

  • I am grateful for my knowledge. Learning has the power to change our lives on an individual level while we help others around us on a community level.
  • I am grateful for skills. Knowing something that I can do for a living, having a trade, gives me purpose. I also like the skills I have, and hope to improve on them.
  • I am grateful for life. I’m not suicidal or anything, but I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be alive and to have experience (both good and bad) that I grow from. I look back at where I was, and compare that to where I am now, and it is incredible to see the changes for the better that have been made.

Alright, I will get off my soapbox :wink: Thanks for listening (I am grateful for that, as well haha)


#112

Today I’m so grateful for:

  1. Flexing my self discipline. It’s a muscle that’s growing stronger. We owe money for a medical bill. My wife needed a procedure that I felt was frivolous. In the past I’d get angry an blame her for being a hypochondriac. Truth is, there’s peace of mind. There’s nothing wrong and we know that with certainty. We already owe the money anyway so arguing about it won’t change that fact. Land mine avoided.

  2. Long lasting friendships. Reconnecting with a friend I’ve known since elementary school has been so positive. I took him fishing yesterday and while we don’t correspond a lot, we fall into a natural rythym whenever we hang out. He is more like a brother than my own siblings.

  3. Fatherhood. All of the the terrible puns, toilet humor, and dad jokes I’ve acquired over the years are really starting to pay dividends. My son is almost 4 and I often encounter comedy gold these days. Belly laughs are good medicine.