Kids are having their own planetary cycle…
Today its all about crap
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Morning guys, bit early today. Tis only 5 so I might end up going back to sleep.
Though thinking about getting coffee.
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so it’s 11 pm and my son just fell asleep after an epic 2 hour hysterical cry…since he doesn’t communicate, we had no idea what’s wrong and usually it takes a long time and patience and trial and error to figure it out and we never got to the bottom of this one. it’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Parenting on the spectrum sometimes seems like his best day is a typically developing child’s worst and his worst days are pure hell. I swear I’m strong in sobriety, but these meltdowns are quite literally the only thing that makes me want to get wasted and forget about life for awhile. I know it wouldn’t help. But it’s just so depressing, sad, and heartbreaking for me, and I’m typically an upbeat guy. So I come here instead, read some threads, hope I can calm my racing heart and get my mojo back…
EDIT: this was meant to just go in the thread, not directly at Hanna, who is now wondering WTH to do with this information 
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No wondering dear. Im having late school morning today so i have time.
We just talked about auticism yesterday at school and the major problem seems to be understanding the childs needs when there are no words. What other ways could there be to find it out…? Colours, moves, noises, tunes, music, fabrics, smells… That is so challenging 
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Hey T. I remember those days well and how it felt to be a father to a child who sometimes needed so much more then the love we could offer. My sone turned 13 a few days ago and there are still very challenging times but as he grows in maturity so do I. Patience is the most important lesson my son has taught me, more accurately, forced me to learn. It got easier and more rewarding as he started to make sense of his world and as I started to understand how he sees the world. I read something once that said, “dont blame me for how I see the world, I’m wired differently”, I’ve not forgotten this but sometimes I do lose sight of it. It’ll get easier, better and understanding communication will come in time. I just finished talking with my son about his behavior today and at 13 he knows hes a little different, but he embraces it. Hang in there my friend, all the smiles are just a step ahead…
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Thanks so much Chris. What you just wrote right there was the exact, most perfect thing to say. You sure know how to make a fella weepy my friend. You just gave my soul a big bounce. Thank you - I am now ready to confront the challenges that lie ahead tomorrow…
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Thank you Hanna…Definitely great advice and something we work hard toward daily - we have figure out ways to unlock his communication for sure. Tonight just absolutely sucked, hopefully tomorrow will be better…
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Oh Tom this sounds exhausting mate. I feel for you 
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Feel for you Tom. It’s bad enough trying to communicate with children at the best of times let alone if there is something else going on. You, have patience and support for him, and your wife and this is a sign of your growth, my friend.
Tomorrow is another day.
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Yeah i feel for u guys The actual moments are hard and the work is done millimeter by millimeter. Best of luck and patience with that 
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Hey Tom, just dropping off to sleep now, but I wanted to say, it sounds so discouraging and so draining, and if there’s anything I can do to help you get your mojo back, I’m on it! And these efforts to meet him in the middle with communication do make a difference. I’ve seen who was a nonverbal child learn and grow over the years into a socially-integrated, fully independent, thriving adult. It took time, but it happened. Tomorrow may be better than today. If it isn’t… well, there will only be 24 hours of it. And we’ll be here with you!
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My little guy had a rough time last night too. I think holding his emotions in all day in a new environment is hard so I got to be his emotional dumping ground when I picked him up. He had trouble buckling his chest strap and it all went down hill from there. Huge meltdown that lasted a long time. Lots of anger, yelling, tears… ugh. That set of my tears. We had our last appointment with out occupational therapist last week as he’s being discharged from preschool program as he headed off to kindergarten/Montessori. She leant us a weighted blanket to try out to see if helpful before buying one. Now I want one too!!
Today is a new day. Happy sober Wednesday my wonderful people.
A new day today.
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Hey Tom. I feel you brother. I have a special needs “kid” (22 years old), who also can’t communicate to us when something hurts. She will point in the general direction of where the pain is but its still a guessing game. And I completely understand that urge to climb into a bottle to numb the pain. I admire you for staying strong and staying in the moment when your family needs you most. It’s not easy.
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Couldn’t have said this better myself Chris, my son is also 13 (although his mental age is around 6) and it feels now like the worst is behind us. There’s still difficult days but he can speak a little now and mostly make his needs known, the good days definitely outweigh the bad 
Hang in there @ChicagoT Tom, Chris is right, the better days are right up ahead and all that you’re going through now makes them all the better when you get there
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We’ll try to keep the noise to a minimum so as not to disturb you, sweet dreams Hannabanananana…
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Good day all. Stay strong. Stay the course.
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thank you everyone for the heart-warming replies. I sincerely I appreciate them and feel so supported this morning. I needed to hear them so badly. hope you all have a wonderful day today…tom
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Thanks for your effort but even my penguine eyeshades couldnt help. Another try now that the younger one is off to ballet class…
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A well earned nap for our beautiful banana 
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