Daily Reflections & Daily Readings #2

[MandiH]

All of today’s readings have hit home in some way.

Dealing with people on their terms is something I’ve been working on again. Which speaks about that irritation quote, and also stepping outside of the comfort zone to let things change.

Life can’t always be “MY” way. It’s taken me a long time to realize not only do I not always know what’s best, people have a right to live their life their own way and it’s not up to me to decide what that should be. Thank god, because that’s exhausting trying and I can’t control shit anyway lol.

So instead of being the old me and telling people how they should live their lives (especially when they don’t ask for advice) I’ve been just letting things unfold as they may.

I’ve also been thinking about this book I’m listening to and it was talking about our relationships with others. How if we just criticize and tell them what to do, we are making withdrawals in the relationships. Too much of that and our relationships truly suffer! I did this with my own son until he called me on it (I realized my own mother was coming out of my mouth allllll the time lol) and our relationship has changed dramatically for the better.

We can instead put deposits in. Let them talk and just listen without trying to fix or control their lives. Do things with them and be present. Just enjoy their company. Love them, exactly as they are.

This isn’t easy for the more challenging people in my life. The people who irritate me and rub me the wrong way. That’s a me thing though-not them. That’s me thinking I know what’s best and what they are doing isn’t that. Living life their way gives them freedom to learn their own life lessons. Yesterdays quote was JK Rowling saying rock bottom was the solid foundation she built her life from. Sometimes others need to hit that bottom too so they can do the same. It’s not up to me to judge that or decide what their life should be because I don’t know the bigger picture of what they really need.

I have a niece who is very challenging. She’s very negative, in a victim mentality, she’s dramatic, into all the gossip & drama, she isn’t grateful when others help her, she isn’t often kind or nice, etc. Her life recently fell apart and she found herself homeless with a 2 year old and 2 teenagers as a result of her choices. This is the life she has known by how she was raised and in her own addictions.

But, I’ve seen a greater perspective in this. She’s now being given an opportunity to change her life in a way that no one in her family has. And she’s taking steps toward doing that. Rock bottom can be a place where we step up and build a new life.

Because I wasn’t trying to control things, fix things, telling her all that led her there, giving her shit, etc, I have instead been able to love her as she is through her struggles and tell her I’m proud of her. That the road she’s on isn’t the easy one, but I know she has what it takes to do it. I’m putting deposits into her life instead of withdrawals. And having people believe in her may just be what she really needs to hear for once.

This is a lot of my rambling thoughts today, but I’m truly grateful for my recovery that has me living life in a new way today. It changes things within me for the better, which in turn touches all around me in a better way too.

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Keep It Simple

A liar needs a good memory. — Quintilian

Many of us wasted a lot of energy trying to keep track of whom we had told what. For example, we’d tell our boss one story and our family another. Then we’d work hard to make sure they never met.

How wonderful to be done with that way of life! We now have a life based on honestly. We can now be ourselves where we go.

Our program tell us that to get sober, we must live a life of strict honesty. Honesty is our rule to get and stay sober. Life is much more simple this way. We can relax and think of the happy details of life.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to live honestly. Being honest brings me closer to You. Help me become closer to You.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of Chapter Five in Alcoholics Anonymous (Third Edition). Here, I’ll learn why honesty is so important to my recovery.

[MandiH]

Whatever you are trying to avoid won’t go away until you confront it.
–Anonymous

Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, it is peace within the storm.
–Unknown

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one’s growth without destroying one’s roots.
–Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Walk In Dry Places

Admitting a Wrong

Inventory.

It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong.

We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that they place us at a disadvantage.

The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us.

The refusal to admit a wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm to ourselves and others.

We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course
by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and improvement.

I’ll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future.

[MandiH]

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.
–Wayne Dyer

(This is one of my all-time favorite quotes!)

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Keep It Simple

One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears—by listening to them. —Dean Rusk

We hate being told what to think. We like to make up our own minds.

It helps to talk things out with another person who, listens to us.

Someone who care what we think.

We can give this respect to others. We can listen their point of view.

We can try to understand them and care about what they think.

When we do this, others start to care what we think too. We share ideas.

The ideas get a little more clear. They change a little. We get a little closer to agreement. We both feel good.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know when to listen and when to talk today. Work for me and though me. Thanks.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll look for chances to listen to others when I really want to talk. I’ll say, “Tell me more about that.” And I’ll listen.

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Keep It Simple

If you want a thing done “right,” you have to do it yourself.—Anonymous

We addicts can be very picky. We think there’s only one way to do things. It’s our way,
But we call it the right way. When we think like this, three things happen:

First, we put down other people. Second, we end up doing all the work. Third, everyone feels bad.
The other person feels hurt that we don’t respect him or her. And we feel angry because we “had” to do all the work.

We need to know that there are many ways to do things. It’s okay when others don’t do things our way. Their way probably works just fine for them. If they want your advice they’ll ask for it.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me accept other people and their ways.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll watch how other people do things. Maybe I’ll learn a better way to do some things.

[MandiH]

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.
–Jesse Jackson

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Keep It Simple

This above all: To thine own self be true.
—William Shakespeare

What does this saying mean: “To thine own self be true”? Hadn’t we thought only of ourselves before recovery? The answer is no. That wasn’t the real us.

Each of us lost touch with our real self because of our addiction. We lost our goals, our feelings, our values. We chased the high. In this way, we lost our spirit. We became addicts.

With sobriety, we find ourselves again—and it feels great! We stop playing a role and become ourselves—and it’s wonderful. We follow our dreams and beliefs, not some addictive wild goose chase. We are again free to be ourselves.

Thank you. Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day: Today, I pray to be myself, to know all of me. I can trust myself because my spirit is good.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll pray: “thine own self be true.”

[MandiH]

I think everybody has to experience a certain amount of pain on the way to maturity.
–Ruth Casey

[MandiH]

I was talking to an old friend that I ran into at the grocery store “randomly” last night. They reached out to me a few weeks ago to talk and we kept missing each other so it never happened. However, the stars aligned for us to connect last night.

We were talking about how the painful lessons have brought us to a place where we get the opportunity to evolve.

He’s been in the hospital and while that wasn’t the issue he arrived with, he ended up being diagnosed with cancer. They caught it early so his prognosis is good. He has made some big life changes and he said he’s feeling better now than he has in a long time! But he’s also facing some other life changes now that he’s navigating and he was seeking my advice.

The painful and challenging things can change things for us. Like he said, we can grow bitter or grow better.

His grandfather was in recovery so when we talk about my experiences and the work I’ve done, he understands the language and applies it to his own situation.

Recovery truly touches the people in our lives and allows us all to connect in better ways. Sometimes that’s with the painful things we go through and working through them together.

But we are truly never in it alone.

[MandiH]

[MandiH]

Today’s Gift.

No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves today. --Brendan Francis

We often find ourselves yearning for tomorrow. We get carried away thinking about the next day’s big game or camping trip. We find ourselves daydreaming about how much fun we’ll have with friends or what animals we’ll see in the park.

The next day comes and perhaps the excitement about the game diminishes because our friends can’t make it or the camping trip is canceled because of bad weather. We feel cheated and begin regretting the missed opportunities of yesterday.

When we find ourselves concentrating only on tomorrow, we need to stop and look around. We’ll begin to notice the joke a friend is telling, or the bird flying overhead. We will begin appreciating the joys of the moment.

When we live in the moment, we have no expectations about the next moment, and without expectations, we can’t be disappointed, only surprised.

What is delightful about this moment right now?

[MandiH]

Pray to God, but keep rowing to the shore.
–Russian Proverb

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
–Flora Whittemore

One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it.
–Henry Moore

[MandiH]