“What character asset is beginning to show up more often in my daily life, and how can I nurture it?”
Ooh, I love this. I have to sometimes put conscious effort into remembering I have more assets now instead of just defects. Today I’m going to say I have the ability now to not take things so personally-where someone else is at has nothing to do with me most of the time. I don’t have the power nor the desire to control them-I just let my HP lead my way and know what others think of me is none of my business.
A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and those who haven’t been given the truth may die.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 13
I desperately wanted to live, but if I was to succeed, I had to become active in our God-given program. I joined what became my group, where I opened the hall, made coffee, and cleaned up. I had been sober about three months when an oldtimer told me I was doing Twelfth-Step work. What a satisfying realization that was! I felt I was really accomplishing something. God had given me a second chance, A.A. had shown me the way, and these gifts were not only free—they were also priceless! Now the joy of seeing newcomers grow reminds me of where I have come from, where I am now, and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead. I need to attend meetings because they recharge my batteries so that I have light when it’s needed. I’m still a beginner in service work, but already I am receiving more than I’m giving. I can’t keep it unless I give it away. I am responsible when another reaches out for help. I want to be there—sober.
“What situation recently tested my sobriety or serenity, and what did I learn about myself from it?”
When my stomach is off, I like to drink a little bit of ginger ale or sprite. I don’t like soda and I drink very little of it-only what I need to so I don’t like to drink off the bottle. So, the smallest cup in the house was used, a wine glass. It didn’t bother me at all as I like drinking water out of kind of similarly shaped water glasses, these were just smaller as I needed less. It didn’t feel like I was drinking and I wasn’t romanticizing-to me it was just a small glass vs the alternative-a huge heavy cup. When he walked in and said it looked like I was drinking so he had to do a double take even though he knew I wasn’t-I decided that could end up being a sneaky slippery slope. Cunning, baffling and powerful this addiction is. So I went out and bought new little glasses. That little piece of glass that holds liquid does carry an energy to it and I don’t want to get complacent or have an object be what could bring me back out.
He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 107
Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth-shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness. That’s what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A.
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116
It has been my experience that, when all human resources appear to have failed, there is always One who will never desert me. Moreover, He is always there to share my joy, to steer me down the right path, and to confide in when no one else will do. While my well-being and happiness can be added to, or diminished, by human efforts, only God can provide the loving nourishment upon which I depend for my daily spiritual health.
“Where did I experience gratitude today, even in a small or subtle way?”
Everywhere. Today (yesterday) was not ideal. At all. But I am absolutely full of gratitude! Instead of complaining about any of my day, I have nothing but gratitude and that is ALL thanks to my recovery!
True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 124-25
During my drinking years, my one and only concern was to have my fellow man think highly of me. My ambition in everything I did was to have the power to be at the top. My inner self kept telling me something else but I couldn’t accept it. I didn’t even allow myself to realize that I wore a mask continually. Finally, when the mask came off and I cried out to the only God I could conceive, the Fellowship of A.A., my group and the Twelve Steps were there. I learned how to change resentments into acceptance, fear into hope and anger into love. I have learned also, through loving without undue expectations, through sharing my concerns and caring for my fellow man, that each day can be joyous and fruitful. I begin and end my day with thanks to God, who has so generously shed His grace on me.
“How can I nurture a healthier relationship with myself this week—emotionally, spiritually, or physically?”
This is a great question. It’s a balance to take care of myself as well as help others. I just need to keep my HP in charge and do what is being asked of me. I don’t always know what’s best for me but my HP does so I will connect and trust in that today.
Wow, great question. Last week was hard for me and so I do have plans to improve the week coming up.
How can I nuture a healthier relationship with myself this week?
Physically - I need/want to stop harming myself by overeating and emotionally eating. I do believe that this is a form of self harm and I no longer want to participate in that this week. So i would like to nourish my body with healthy food, in the right amounts. Exercise will be hard for me to accomplish bcuz my son is home from school, but Id like to at the very least focus on my nutrition.
Emotionally - Be gentle with myself. Show myself some compassion and love. Treat myself and talk to myself as if I was talking to a friend. Cuz God knows that I would never speak to a friend the same way I speak to myself sometimes. I want to be my own best friend this week.
Spiritually - Pray every morning for guidance and to give thanks for all that God does. Ive been slacking on my recovery routine and then I wonder why Im not mentally feeling the greatest Not doing my routine is the reason why.
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. . . . Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89
It is through service that the greatest rewards are to be found. But to be in a position of offering true, useful and effective service to others, I must first work on myself. This means that I have to abandon myself to God, admitting my faults and clearing away the wreckage of my past. Work on myself has taught me how to find the necessary peace and serenity to successfully merge inspiration and experience. I have learned how to be, in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety.
“What does serenity look like for me today—not in theory, but in real, practical terms?”
When things don’t go according to my plan, I’m still grateful and don’t try to fight it. Acceptance is definitely the key to my serenity. I can’t control SO much in life, but I get to choose my attitude and actions. This is a game changer! I truly do comprehend the word serenity and I know peace today.
When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106
In order for me to start working the Twelfth Step, I had to work on sincerity and honesty, and to learn to act with humility. Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated. My dreams can become reality. I solidify my sobriety by sharing what I have received freely. As I look back to that time when I began my recovery, there was already a seed of hope that I could help another drunk pull himself out of his alcoholic mire. My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health. But I never forget that God acts through me. I am only His instrument.
Even if the other person is not ready, there is success, because my effort in his behalf has helped me to remain sober and to become stronger. To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key. If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried. God reminds me that I can feel compassion!
“What’s something my Higher Power (or inner wisdom) might be trying to show me right now?”
You can’t always get what you want We’ve been fighting this cold for a week so far and it’s still going strong. We canceled his birthday. His dad’s birthday. My work Christmas party. Visiting my Gramma. The cute little town event they had. Even my doctor cancelled my appointment this week. I was ready to socialize and get out, but God has other plans. I’m trusting it. Even though we’ve been sick, we’ve been in it together and that’s actually been pretty nice. More will likely be revealed.
Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth Step? The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109
To renounce the alcoholic world is not to abandon it, but to act upon principles I have come to love and cherish, and to restore in others who still suffer the serenity I have come to know. When I am truly committed to this purpose, it matters little what clothes I wear or how I make a living. My task is to carry the message, and to lead by example, not design.
“How have I shown up for myself or someone else in a way I’m proud of this week?”
I’ve shown up for my pup, my partner and myself this week. I’ve been able to help them while they aren’t feeling well, but I’ve also been able to take care of me. I’m not stressing about the things I can’t control. I’m not making unhelpful decisions and I’ve remained grateful. I woke up feeling better today, because I took care of me in the best way I could. I’m honestly pretty proud of myself for staying grounded, balanced and as healthy as possible this last week.
. . . we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192
Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole.
My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
“What is one small action I can take today that supports my emotional sobriety?”
Let myself feel and stop stuffing my emotions down or shutting them off. Letting myself cry and be ok with being human. I know logically that I block my energy and make myself physically sick if I don’t let it out and keep it bottled in. But that opposite programming runs really deep within me. Today I am going to let myself feel my emotions and honor them the best I can.
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 17
The most far-reaching Twelfth Step work was the publication of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Few can equal that book for carrying the message. My idea is to get out of myself and simply do what I can. Even if I haven’t been asked to sponsor and my phone rarely rings, I am still able to do Twelfth Step work. I get involved in “brotherly and harmonious action.” At meetings I show up early to greet people and to help set up, and to share my experience, strength and hope. I also do what I can with service work. My Higher Power gives me exactly what He wants me to do at any given point in my recovery and, if I let Him, my willingness will bring Twelfth Step work automatically.
“Where did I practice honesty recently, even in a small way, and how did it affect me?”
Being honest with my sponsor about where I’m at. About my emotions. My fears. Losses. Illnesses, for myself and others. Worries. We got to do the work through them. After a lifetime of not being honest with myself or others, in my recovery I’ve learned how to do both and be authentic to myself. It’s a game changer, for sure!
Recently I have been practicing honesty without TMI. I was raised in a household where children were to be seen and not heard, but when answers or explanations were demanded, they’d best be quick and complete. This time of year, I love to be home after dark, cozy even with colorful Christmas lights, hot tea, private refuge. I find myself feeling like I need to explain when I turn down invitations, to tell what I’m doing instead. I can’t tell you how difficult this is for me. It’s hard to say: I’m a dyslexic alcoholic. I’m going to be home with Dog!
Not doing my routine is the reason why.
You can’t always get what you want