Man, where do I begin hers lately the challenge is to not run myself into the ground and I feel like I’m failing miserably… it feels like the world is on my shoulders and I cant catch a break! I’m always working three jobs at any given moment and I live with my wife that doesnt seem to get it either that I need her to pick up the slack! Or take some of the stress off me she thinks I’m mean and I ask too much of her… on the other hand I walked into our local convience store and bam dope pipe after dope pipe of all sizes just sittin there on display like it was candy… I’ll have to admit I got stuck there for a second I never new they sold them like that then for a fleeting moment I thought about just thought about it and when we left i got around the corner pulled over and just cried cried at the pain that they are selling on display like it was fucking candy… but you know what I learned out of all of this is I’m human I’m a real person feeling real feelings and I’m not ashamed of it I just wish shed understand that if I become mentally bankrupt I’m gonna be screwed… thanks for listening guys… have a wonderful day!
You are doing great and having a meltdown from time to time is not a sign of weakness. As alcoholics/drug abusers, the temptations are always going to be out there… right in front of our faces (I love NFL football and EVERY commercial is for beer). But you did the right thing and walked away. You have a lot of stress in your life, but you are handling it like a champ! You are stronger than you think and you’ve made it this far. Keep going… one day at a time. You’ve got this!!! 
Stay strong! I’m glad that you chose to vent on here. It helps me a lot to vent as well. I’m sure it’s hard with your work schedule but have you tried meetings? Online or in person? They help me a lot. Mental bankruptcy isn’t a good place to be. A huge part of my recovery is being kind to my body and my mind. Making sure that I don’t burn out. Hang in there and keep reaching out!
Meetings, well I live in a very tiny town and to be honest the only meeting we have here has never truly helped I’ve reached out multiple times and with no success it’s more of a place that you find those that will help you get high it’s sad to say but you say they have them online??? I would be interested in that I’d give it my best shot!!! I’ve never felt how I have in the last 24hrs in a long time it kinda scared me! I just feel like i cant breathe i know I’ll get past this i can do it just have to have that safe place to be open and honest and this is where I have found it so far thanks for your response!
They’re called SMART meetings. I’ve never looked into it but I’ve seen them mentioned on here before. Maybe a google search would guide you in the right direction. Feelings can be overwhelming. I get anxious or cry. Sometimes I’m not even sure why. I just work through it and it passes. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress. That can be hard to do alone. Just remember that you’re not alone. This is definitely a safe place. I know from experience. Some times just sharing what I’m feeling or going through makes it easier to deal with for me. You’re in the right place.
My issue is with alcohol and that is truly everywhere. I get angry seeing billboards on the expressway, or the latest trend of alcohol and gas stations. Been lucky no DUI in 25 years, but c’mon why are they tempting us all the time, especially when it involves driving. Ok that’s my rant, jealous you can release your emotions with tears, still bottling them up as rage.