Been struggling with sleep the last few days, and in a last ditch effort to get more rest than I did, I took more of my benzos.
Not a big jump, but I went in the wrong direction
Took ~2mg instead of 1.2mg earlier
Didn’t get any additional sleep. 
So I am still sleep deprived and now I screwed up my road to sobriety. A higher dose I consider a relapse since it’s too dangerous to kick these cold turkey. I just might try to actually do that though since the doses I have been taking are rather low. If it means not sleeping for a week in order to never take them again, I will do that.
A drug is definitely one of the worst drugs ever if it has taken me over a year to taper off of it and I still can’t kick them
I feel like a collosal failure right now. I had been on 1.2mg for 5 days, after lowering from ~1.5-1.6. First few days I had amazing sleep.
Then I slipped up. Sigh. This is a little frustrating. And by a little, I mean a lot, and I just feel powerless. Not a good feeling.
You had one hiccup in a many good days of recovery. It’s hard to make good decisions when you are sleep deprived. Of course our addict inside us does not play fair. It takes advantage of that muddle headedness. If you feel like you have to reset to be fully honest with yourself, that’s commendable but you are NOT failing.