Out of sheer curiosity, does anyone else find it extremely difficult to date after embracing sobriety? It isn’t that I’m overly picky, or that I’m really seeking out a partner, I just don’t have the same desire to be around men that I did when I drank. I know that it is a shift in mindset, but having someone around no longer seems to be a priority. All of the constant bullshit that came with dating seems like a complete unnecessary waste of my time now. Time which I feel compelled to protect. Did it take anyone else time to ease back into the dating scene? Thanks, ya’ll. 
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Lol I feel the same way, its weird.
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In the beginning of my sobriety I had an agreement with myself to quit dating for 1 year. I wanted to fully commit to me, myself and I. My recovery was number 1 and still is today.
However, that 1 year became 2 years and now I’m seeing someone again, out of the blue, without “looking for it”. I believe when you as a person are having a positive mindset, you attract positive people and things will work out without to much effort.
Again, my recovery is still priority for me, if my recovery went on the background the rest will fade away aswell. For me counts; Recovery>family>relationships>work>hobbies etc.
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Yes! Idk why this is… but I have zero desire to meet new people. maybe because I associate drinking with dating?
Ironically I broke up with my last SO because I thought THEY had the drinking problem and I was the “responsible” drinker… well… we both did, his was just more violent and I wasn’t so I thought I was ok… until i woke up in ICU…
Anyway… now it’s so much harder, plus I don’t have the inflated self esteem that comes with a few vodka drinks… and I also don’t feel physically well since my 3 month stint in the hospital…
(I’m getting flashbacks of Sandra Bullock in 28 days! If you haven’t seen it, drop what you’re doing and watch it now! lol…)
Anyway, @knd61283 don’t stress out about it too much… your body and spirit know what you need and when, so just do what feels right.
Eventually someone will spark joy in your heart and you’ll know that’s the right time… for me right now it’s my cat… I know that may sound so very typical, but until I meet someone who doesn’t remind me of a stiff drink, half my bed goes to someone on four legs, covered in fur, purrs unconditionally and doesn’t care if I haven’t put on real pants in two weeks! 
so what if she poops in a box? I once lived with a guy who peed in bottles… like, instead of a perfectly good toilet… 
lmao…
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This topic comes up sometime and everytime it intriges me I feel alot have the same view but I sounds like to me that your happy putting yourself first and staying away from drama early RECOVERY is always a good move your know when it’s right go with your gut
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I think is the good way, dating is not a joke or a just for fun. Can be a thing that can really break our hearts or we can break the heart of someone. We need time and security
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Yeah, I ain’t got time for that shit. I didn’t in my first year, I didn’t in my second year, my third year has been more about my love for my work and my employees. I’m still not entirely comfortable with the thought of having to give part of my life to someone else. Until I am, I’ll just stay single and do all the shit I want to do!
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Thank you. I also believe that my mindset is recovery first. It isn’t that I’m appalled by the thought of dating, it just isn’t a priority. Huge congratulations on meeting someone that is great for you. We all need a strong ally during recovery, but in the beginning, I believe we may find it primarily in ourselves.
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23 Days is one of my all time favorite movies. I whole heartedly agree with you on dating a drinker. I was with a good hearted man who couldn’t understand why I would have the desire to quit drinking. My being a drunken shit show didn’t seem to phase him because in his head I was “fun”. I think I’ve come to the point where I would rather spend my time alone, with my support system or with my dogs over seeking out what was once drunken romance. I’ve come to learn that when you retire the shit show, the men that loved that drunken courage don’t particularly care for the courage that comes with recovery.
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Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I believe completely on focusing on me until that feels right makes it way back.
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Yes!! My primary focus has been work and making myself the best possible leader that I can be. No relationship is going to climb the ladder for me and I’m now at the point of being capable to do it for myself, both happy and sober.
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Ugh, dating sites are the absolute worst ever. I lasted like two days after finding that I was constantly asked “why don’t you drink?”.
I hope that love will make it’s way to you also.
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Its up to you and it seems youve already have made up your mind! Do what makes you happy and if staying single right now is the choice your making, then do that! Whether you give it time or not is totally up to you, there is no right or wrong answer to this, its all indivually based, and whats best and most comfortable to the situation! Just my opinion
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Good on you 
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Thank you.
In the past I would find that I’d get black out drunk on dates I wasnt enjoying and wouldn’t remember if I even liked the person or not so would end up meeting them again (slightly embarrassed to even type that!) But I found sober I was more interested in the relationship with myself and finding out what I wanted etc rather than getting smashed on dates.
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So much yes!!! I found that I tended to date the men I met in bars because they are just as messed up as I was. Then I had a valid excuse to meet them out and get stupid drunk. Come to find out, they were just a bunch of really shitty men. I’m kind of in love with my being aware of what I actually want and need now. It’s freeing.
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I’d kill to have someone now that I’m getting sober again. But dating seems to difficult most days honestly. Rejection and drinking just go too hand in hand for me
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And NOW it’ll be even longer til you can date!
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YES I completely agree!!
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