I drank a lot and it mixed with the antidepressants I was on. I was staying in a hotel. I woke up, I shit myself and I thought I had been sexually assaulted. I thought it was someone else’s shit. It was me, but I called the cops and I was crazy, I didn’t know what was going on, I was in a complete delusion. I will have to start from day 1 and put this behind me but I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind, like going bonkers. I’m scared, I need to stop drinking forever it’s fucked.
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Well we’ve all done some dumb stuff while in active addiction.
I hope that experience is enough to get you to concede to your inner most self that you cannot drink successfully
Have you heard of Alcoholics Anonymous?
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Dude. I have been there. Not the hotel, but I’ve been in that type of situation. It’s scary. I did an outpatient program that helped get me off of alcohol. I’m only 71 days but it’s been 71 days that I haven’t shit myself (which I did many times - no gallbladder) or have to talk to the damn police. (Which I did - 2 calls were made to my residence pre-sobriety for a welfare check and I notoriously abhor police presence).
I’m not fabulous by any means now but I’m here and I have this community and so do you.
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Oh that sounds like a very ruff way to start a day. Today will probably be easy to make to bed tonight sober with last night chaos fresh. Book mark this post. And let it be a reminder of why you need to stop.
Tomorrow when you wake up commit to not drinking. Come up with a plan for when the thoughts of having a drink comes.
Let this be your very last day one.
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Thanks so much for the responses. I’ve never had anything happen like this before and I woke up so confused and scared, I was terrified. I feel so humiliated. I went almost 2 months without drinking before falling down again, and this is how I fall. I’m allergic to alcohol, I am an alcoholic and I can’t drink. I made a mistake calling the police, I was insane to do that, just absolutely out of my head. Anyway, sober now and I know my mind will start to recover day to day.
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What are you going to different this time around ? If you just keep doing the same things you were doing then you are going to get the same results
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I think that i have to acknowledge not just to myself, but other people which includes my friendship group and family that I cannot drink alcohol. I was put in a situation where I was literally staying above a bar, which was completely ridiculous and it’s no wonder I relapsed, I was not ready for that. I think it would be beneficial to attend some meetings, I know there are some online, I’ll have a look for them.
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I’m coming up on 8 years sober in AA. I’d say it’s more than beneficial
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices in early sobriety to protect yourself. It’s not up to your friends to change, it’s up to you to not go.
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I’m going to cancel my birthday party, (by saying I’m unwell) and will focus on spending the first 90 days with minimal socialization other than taking care of my Grandpa and spending time with family. I’ll attend some meetings, I do struggle with routine sometimes because of my mental health at the moment, but I will of course try my best.
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There is always an online meeting going.
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Thank you!
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Im on day one too. Today I will not drinkwith you.
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We got this!
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Im right here with you.
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