I went to meetings , but did not fit in! I know , who does? Guess I will work through you guys and try to achieve my goal. Thanks for the encouragement!
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As long as u r here I was worried when I didn’t see you. I’m a big believer in the 12steps programme. Nothing has worked 4 me before. It’s not even that hard hun . Just get a sponsor and she will help u through the steps . Your outlook on recovery will be so different I promise you x
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Thanks natnat! Appreciate it! Gonna join a gym and take my mind off this crap
I’ll look into it. I guess I’ve been too scared to dive in all the way.
I also live in a small town and hid my drinking! I’m sure it showed. I just can’t do that here. Embarrassed! I may have to travel 40 minutes to feel comfortable with talking with strangers. I don’t know.
As it says in the big book you will be amazed before your half way through! X
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Well if you need a friend , I’m here. 54 years old married for 29 years and 4 great kids. Just hit a place I don’t like anymore! Thanks for listening
I live on an island, you want to talk about small, lol. And yes, the first couple times is nerve wracking but they are all there TOO CUZ THEY’RE DRUNKS! I sat in the car for a few minutes and talked myself into it. Walked in strong and relaxed. Everyone is so nice and it makes their day to offer to help the newbies. I also had to tell myself it’s my ego keeping me scared. Leave it in the car, lol
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Ok, I’ll try
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Sanibel island is small and yes they know your shit. I moved from Florida to the Bible belt north of Asheville. Seems like a church on every corner, and they aren’t to holy if you know what I mean! Sundays everyone is nice Wednesday they talk about you. Funny thing is I had bad things happen in my life and resorted to alcohol ( beer is my choice) just seemed to be a great getaway! Hell I would say I’m a functioning alcoholic! Pretty much can throw down and still do my job, but see it interfering with so much more. Was a great athlete at one time, now not so much. Would really like to recapture my life before it spirals out of control.
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If AA isn’t your jam just go to NA it might suit you better…
I am going to be a bit harsh now…
I learned that it is not important to fitt at first.
I even felt resentment against the meeting I went to.
The only thing that counts is you not using. Recovery doesn’t have to be pleasant neither was using right?
If not fitting in is your excuse for using you’ll use. Because you’ll make you not fit in anywhere.
You are not weak… You are an addict taking that first step towards meetings shows your strength. Now all you need is a source for determination and you to can make it 
Be kind to you safari, you’ve earned it for suffering all those years before now.
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Thanks man! Appreciate the strong words. Feel that , well it just isn’t fun anymore, but feels fun when you do it. Don’t even go to bars cause I live in a small town. We do have a micro brew but not there much. I know there is a problem. So I stay home and drink privately in my garage. So sick! Thanks for the advice
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I think you and I have a lot in common actually. I don’t know your age but I had alot of bad stuff too when I was younger. It does shape how you cope with pain and make bad decisions. I still have issues as a middle aged woman because of my formative years. Obviously cuz I’m here, lol.
Stick around and know that you’re worth it.
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Gonna eat and go to bed.
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I’m so glad to see you back, Donna 
I realized the other day that I hadn’t seen you post in awhile and was worried about you. I’m sorry you’re having a tough go lately but so happy to know your back 
You contribute so much here and your sweet nature is something that I admire so much. Wishing you strength and sending you big hugs too 
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Thanks Katie for that sweet sentiment!
I’m going to try harder and get serious about it this go round; I don’t want to be the one who keeps coming back…!
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“It feels fun when you do it”
Versus
“drinking in my garage”
We dont use for fun we use to coop.
Try to let go of the positive affirmation of using it’ll help. It helped me a bunch when I looked in the mirror and said it is not fun being alone doing your doc shutting out all emotions and people.
I was merely faking my way true being lonely.
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