I have been drinking one or twice a week since my dad passed away in June. Sometimes the grief just gets overwhelming. But I feel this pull to become something bigger than this feeling. I’m ready to be sober.
I’m ready to be that person who says, “no thanks, I dont drink.”
Im ready for my life to start again.
Im ready to allow myself to feel, and learn to truly love myself through the strruggles.
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Welcome, @Dancingwheel (and to our Daily Check-in over there)!
I’m so sorry about the loss of your father.
That grief… so easy to carry around like a weight. Every glass I ever picked up was like a prolonged grieving. Putting off peace and acceptance, over and over, never wanting to let go.
Now as you say it, that was my Day 1: Finally being ready for life to start again. And it’s hecking light and beautiful is what it is. 
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I was thinking about you @Dancingwheel as I was writing a thank you letter to someone who sent me a card, and also an article on acknowledging difficult anniversaries. My son died from an overdose a year ago and I drank through the first 7 months of my grief.
I put off writing the letter for almost a month because it is still just so very painful.
But I have found comfort from surprising places. The person who sent the letter is a teacher from my high school. A teacher I never had. I graduated almost 40 years ago, and moved across the country. But he found out about my son’s death, had a shared understanding of the situation, and reached out.
The point of this is, that being sober has not alleviated my grief, but rather allowed me to really let it in and accept whatever kindnesses the world offers me in its tragic wake. It has allowed me to move out of the overwhelming rage I felt and into something different, something less destructive to my well-being.
I wish you peace and comfort where you can find it and accept it. 
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