A year ago, I started recognising, out loud to my partner and some friends, that I have a problem with drinking. About 8 months ago, I admitted to my secret drinking and began working on my addiction with a therapist, books, a period of abstinence, etc.
But now I must ashamedly admit that I slipped back into secret drinking again, and all while I am very happily pregnant. I am so ashamed to admit this even here to people I don’t know. I am filled with self-loathing, fear, guilt.
Sinking to this low has made me realise the seriousness of my addiction and face facts: I cannot moderate. I need to quit entirely, for good. I also now really want to quit entirely. Although I have recently failed, I have previously put in some good ground work and I can see a future where I am free of alcohol, happy, and can live a full life with the beautiful little family I am building, achieving the sporting and adventure goals that being me such joy, perhaps immersing myself in education again.
In therapy I have dealt with my own mother’s addiction and how this has severely affected me. I must not make the same mistakes.
I know I must also seek a group/help and not try to do this alone. Reading the books and exercise will only get me so far. I would greatly appreciate any tips in this regard (not interested in AA personally).
Hey awareness is everything. At least you are being honest with yourself. Be kind to yourself, beating yourself up won’t help you get farther. We are all here to listen. So keep coming back.
I know the beating myself up isn’t helpful, but at least a little attrition has got to happen because drinking while pregnant is so wrong. I will work on the self-loathing and try to get past it in a few days.
Hello girl I find your message full of strength and courage because it’s extremely difficult to admit vulnerabilities both to yourself ans to others.
First, I’d like to say that you should not be too severe against you because you do what you can… Pregnant or not. And there’s no need to remind you how harmful alcohol might be in your situation… Beating addictions is already hard enough when you just have to take care of you… I can’t even imagine what it could be when you have to take care of two people.
Sadly I don’t have any tips because, exactly like you, all my efforts end with me slipping back to addictions. But I’ve learned a lot from that journey so far and I’d be very glad and honoured to help you if you just wanna talk or smthg. So don’t hesitate to come talk to me if you feel the need
In addition to what Derek provided, The Luckiest Club is a great online sobriety community with many zoom meetings. Laura McKowen’s book, We Are The Luckiest, is a great read.
Hi , I am new to this forum and have not posted much . I too realised about a year ago I had a problem with alcohol . Binge drinking was my issue , I did cut right down but unfortunately it has crept back in !! This has a real negative effect on my family , basically I’m not a great person when drunk !! Upsetting my children and wife , being a shit to them emotionally, but I like yourself have realised that one or two is not a way forward . The only way is to stop completely. I wish you well in your journey . You can and will do it👍
I find your message full of strength and courage because it’s extremely difficult to admit vulnerabilities both to yourself ans to others.
Beating addictions is already hard enough when you just have to take care of you… I can’t even imagine what it could be when you have to take care of two people.