Releasing i had to be 100% honest with myself about my addiction has been the most excruciating thing I’ve ever been through in my life, but also liberating. Deciding to commit to getting clean for myself led me to one of the most grounding, and emotional moments I’ve ever experienced.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve carried this underlying feeling of guilt everywhere I went, and i could never get rid of it.
After deciding to quit, I went for a walk along the beach. Smelling the salt in the air, feeling the cold sand under my feet, and the sound of the water rippling, it was as if I was experiencing it for the very first time in my life. I couldn’t help but cry, and actually felt genuine freedom for the first time. That feeling of guilt just for existing is gone. Actually gone! I can finally breathe.
I know the path ahead is going to be more challenging that anything I’ve ever had to do, but the high I felt from life at that moment was better than any high I’ve ever gotten from drugs.
I just hope that on my lowest, darkest days that are to come i can remember that feeling and soldier on.
It’s time to live my life with integrity. Doing this because it’s the right thing to do, for myself and my family even when it gets hard.
