Today marks the day which, I hope, is the first step on the road to not ever having a drink again. Here is some background about me:
I am early 30s from the UK
I work in a professional job.
I have a good family around me and some great friends too
I live alone in a 2 bed flat I bought 2 years ago
Now so far this all sounds good, except I have had a bad demon that has consistently held me back since the age of 16 - binge drinking.
Since I had my first drink aged 16, I have always liked a binge session. Whether with work, at family events, with friends or even by myself once I have 1 drink then I have the urge to carry on and carry on under I am extremely intoxicated. It has happened consistently since that age and is something I have always been aware of. However this year, things have been worse than normal.
I would probably say the reason for this is:
Not enjoying my job as much, finding certain co-workers difficult to work with and feeling like my progress has been stagnant.
Issues with a friend who has got himself in a bad situation with the authorities and has relied on me for support - something which I have struggled to give given the accusations against him and his own behaviour
Being involved with lots of social events, which in many cases have involved alcohol being provided for free by the organiser. Many of these relate to work whereby I attend events and are given free food and alcohol.
Being single for the first time in a few years - despite the fact my previous partner was no better than me for binge drinking and we would at times encourage each others bad habits.
In recent times there have been various instances of me going out, getting really drunk and barely remembering large portions of the night including getting home. Drunk me never gets into trouble, but I am an intense and annoying drunk and I too tend to âzone outâ. Especially at work I am starting to get a reputation for this. My last drink was the early hours of yesterday morning. I then got sent in a cab home by some colleagues, which at the end of the road I jumped out and proceeded to walk home - despite the adverse weather outside. Again most the alcohol was free that evening.
I have never craved alcohol on a daily basis and I would say I only drink once or twice a week at present. But when I do drink, I dont stop until I physically have to.
I dont want any sympathy, because I am in a stronger position than many people. I have to face the music tomorrow in work when I hear once again about how much of a show I have made of myself. But I want today to be the day where I go sober, where I stop drinking all together. I cant get away from many of these social events, particularly work ones. But I do note that more and more people go out without drinking these days, and I want to be one of them. This is my first time trying to go sober by the way.
Looking forward to interacting with you all on here!
Huge respect for taking this first step â itâs not easy to admit thereâs a problem, let alone to make a change. What stands out is how self-aware you are about your triggers and patterns. That kind of honesty is one of the strongest foundations for recovery.
Itâs totally okay to feel nervous or even doubtful at the start â most of us do. But youâre not alone here, and youâve already proven you have the strength to reflect and take action. Every sober day counts, even the tough ones.
Work events and social pressure can be tricky, but youâll be surprised how many people will quietly respect your choice to stay sober. Over time, it gets easier to say âno thanksâ and feel proud about it.
Keep checking in here, share the ups and downs â it really helps to stay connected. Youâve got a lot going for you, and this could be the turning point that lets everything else in life get even better.
Wishing you clarity and strength â one day at a time.
You are in the right place here to get support and encouragement. Iâm coming up to two years sober and am also from the UK where drinking culture is shocking. You donât need to be alone in this, use the forum for advice and motivation and good tips.
Thank you for your good words! Yes I will definitely be posting on here and keeping in touch with everyone, I can already see that this is a very strong community of good people all with pretty much the same end goal.
I am a bit doubtful, more of myself, in terms of staying sober long term. Weekdays will be easy, but weekends and holidays (especially Christmas) I expect will be more different - I only know these things when combined with alcohol. But I really want to do it, and reading some of the stories on here it is possible!
Well done @Tragicfarinelli that is a brilliant achievement! We definitely have a bad drinking culture in this country. And there are many people out there who are like me. But that is no reason to not give a sober life a good try!
Try and see it as you would if you were a kid at Xmas or going on holiday or having an exciting event coming up. Kids donât drink but have the most natural innocent fun. Honestly, Iâm having way more genuine fun sober than I was having fake fun drunk. Plus I donât have to get out of any embarrassing and shameful situations. Itâs actually quite magical to experience the clarity of some events sober⊠Sometimes a little awkward, but you get comfortable the more into sobriety you get. Thatâs when you realise that work events and drinking nights out are fucking boring when you arenât plastered, and wouldnât it be better to go home early and get an extra couple of hours sleep and go for an early morning walk instead and pick up fresh coffee. Which sounds better?
Yes I agree, and it would be nice to have some more energy. I constantly feel drained and I rarely have a good nights sleep even when I havent had a drink for a few days. I know they are linked for sure.
Welcome, welcome! Glad u found us! Sounds like things have been a bit more stressful this year for u. Its normal for us as alcoholics and addicts to turn to what we use to cope (alcohol and drugs), when we dont know any other healthier ways. Over time tho, as we get sober time under our belts, we find other ways to deal with our triggers and urges. And then they become 2nd nature and alcohol/drugs rarely enter the mind. It does get easier!
In the beginning of my recovery, i wrote down my reasons for quitting and the consequences of what would happen if i did. Whenever i had the urge to use, id read over this list and it would help me remember why I am on this sober path. Maybe this would help for the weekends when it is harder for u?
Weekends and holidays are hard for a lot of people. But literally, just focus on the present day. One day at a time bcuz thats all we really have. Try to view the weekends amd holidays as just another day. Bcuz it really is just that! Another sober day!
Glad ur here! Hope u find this forum useful! Reach out before u pick up a drink and let us help u thru it
Thank you very much @Butterflymoonwoman, those words meant a lot. I am very glad to find you all too!!
I promise I will think of here before picking up another drink. The main battle for me is against anxiety and impulse. But I am going to work hard on that. I know it is a challenge, but it is not impossible, many here have done so well!
Today is Day 7 for me. The first Sunday in years that I didnât wake hungover. I, too, am hoping this helps me focus at work and care about my work again.
Good luck in your yourney. We all know and understand how hard it is to stay sober but I wanna make one point clear for you, it gets way better after 3-4 months, at least for me it was huge difference.
What helped me also:
I saw alcohol as poison and I took it very seriously that taking one sip can lead me to very bad state of mind and body.
I told most of my friends and family that I am not drinking anymore and when they got used to it I felt embarrassed if I start drinking again.
Feeling proud of yourself that you are fighting this battle, specially comparing to many people probably in your enviorment that are also having same problem but they donât want to admit and face it- the way you are trying your best to.
Sober life is better quality life, I can say that after year of sobriety and I do hope you manage to stay sober as long as you can.
