I feel down depressed hiding in my house to avoid neighbours after screaming shouting after lots and lots of drinks.Im ashamed & actually hate myself not in a good place. Using this forum to help me stop!!!
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I too am back at day one. Don’t be too hard on yourself and lean on the forum for help. There are some awesome folks who’ve been in your shoes. They will provide great insight and help you on your journey. Welcome aboard. You can do this and we all have your back!
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Hello @Rainbow82
I’m pretty sure everyone here has a moment, list of moments, or epic novel, of regretful behavior.
You are definitely not alone.
Take some time to take care of yourself, accept that the ‘drinking you’ is not your best you, and move forward.
We are here and we are glad that you are here!
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Im mortified how will i leave my house knowing everyone has heard me the language coming out my mouth was disgusting! Ive heard my neighbours arguing through drink im sure people have been there im so ashamed
Let your humiliation and shame fuel your recovery. I know it is embarrassing, but you did it. I think many of us have been there…I know I have. You f****d up, forgive yourself, apologize to those you harmed and move forward in sobriety. Use this as a learning experience…you know you don’t want to feel this regret and shame again…so make it so.
You can do this. 
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My partner has gone out drinking today as though thats going to make things better for us
I found it really helpful in early sobriety (and actually still do find it helpful) to keep my focus on my OWN sobriety and how I can improve as a person. Let your partner worry about themselves and their drinking…you focus on what you can control…YOU and your sobriety. For me, it kept me focused on my self and taking responsibility for my actions.
I cannot control what my partner does or does not do…but I can control what I do.
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Ok when ur relationship needs work thought we could try and talk sort things out but as we all know u cant talk to someone whos been drinking ! Yes me getting sober is my main priority thank you
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How do i deal with partner who is hurt but constantly going on about what i did even recorded me it was hard to listen to myself being like that my daughter was scared I cant appolgise enough
Time…it takes time to rebuild that trust. I know it is hard and painful to feel the shame and guilt. That load will lighten with time and work on our selves.
And I agree wholeheartedly, you cannot have discussions with someone when they have been drinking. I won’t engage in important or difficult conversations with my husband if he has been drinking, only sober. We both owe ourselves that respect and caring.
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Feel like im losing at every thing at the moment
I can understand that, but you aren’t. You are sober today, right? That is a win. You are here, reaching out, another win. You know you need to change, another plus.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You messed up, apologize and do better. It is all we can do. We are all just human and we make mistakes. We grow when we learn and change.
I know it feels hopeless, but there is always hope.
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Put time between drinking and yourself. Stay sober. Your outlook will improve as will your ability to improve your situation. What is done is done. There is stuff that needs to be done, there is stuff to change in your life and you will only be able to work on that when you are sober. Good you are here. It helps. Let’s work together on a better us.
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Yes i am sober today im hoping to be fully sober bu the time i reach 40 I know i can do it !!! Taking it one day at a time. Yes ive made the biggest mistake in my life & to see hear my daughter upset its enough to go down the road of a sober life !!! Im not a bad person but become one once i take the first drink ! It means alot to be able to talk to people that are here to help !
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Congrats on day 1! Day 1 means you have started. That means you want change. You’ve got this! You know what you no longer want and what you do want from here out so focus on that.
You are embarrassed right now. That feeling will pass. I have soooooo been there. Dont drink because of it. Get to an AA mtg. Surround yourself with positive people. What helped me early on is I kept busy. Keeping your mind busy is very important. Dont puck up the first drink from here out no matter what happens.
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I hate alcohol & never ever want to touch and will not allow it to ruin my well being &the well being of my family ever again
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Keep the recording. Let it be your motivator. It’s too easy to forget things and go back to old ways. I know when I’ve screwed up, as time passes, I often start manipulating the memory of it to make my role more sympathetic and easier to reconcile with my image of myself. That recording should keep you focused and honest. There’s no chance involved here, it’s a matter of when you’re done. Listen to the recording of yourself again and be done with alcohol. Time to move forward, not back.
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Remember the humiliation, let that be your motivation. For me, when the embarrassment/anxiety phase goes away, that’s when the cravings start…
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