Day 106 but why?


#1

Today is day 106. I never ever thought I’d be this far along. So proud of myself but having such a bad day I’m wondering what’s the point of not drinking. It’s hard to pretend everything in life is so rosy but i do know drinking is only a temporary fix that would end up making me feel worse. Hubby announced that he likes being party guy so he’s been drinking every night. I do not want to join him but it’s sooo not helping.


#2

I think maybe you answered this question…

with this answer…

Hoping your day turns around or at least you find some peace and strength to deal with the challenges :hearts::bird:


#3

Hey, congrats on your 106 days.

In full honesty, that same thought of “what’s the point?” has crossed my mind on a few occasions since I began my journey, especially in the earlier months. So, you are not alone in that.
I can only tell you my own experience. For me, the point of not drinking is to allow myself to fulfill my potential – to simply be the best “me” I can be. When I drink, I don’t like the person I become, nor do I like the aftermath (major “hangxiety”). Drinking robs me of the ability to put my best foot forward. Matter of fact, it puts my best foot a step back.

Over the past several months especially, I don’t really question why I am doing this anymore. It’s evident to me every day that I don’t live in dread, every day that I live with honesty and integrity, every day I wake up without totally hating myself. I can’t tell you what the point is for you personally, but I bet there are reasons and they are valid! Carefully consider them when the “what’s the point” bug hits you.

Might be worth talking to your husband about his behavior, how it affects you, and how it impacts your sobriety goals. I wouldn’t suggest he stop drinking altogether because of you, but maybe he could just be a bit more considerate and not drink around you or something to that degree (I know very little of the story here, but that’s how I am reading the little info given). I’m sure there’s a compromise in there somewhere.

All the best!!


#4

Lol, Ariel was so much more more succinct than I. I like her response better!

Thanks, Ariel :wink:


#5

Aint nothing you cant make worse by drinking


#6

Drtinking isn’t even a temporary fix…it is a temporary delay of the inevitable. Absolutely life is not rosy but dealing with the issues head on the best and fasted way to get through it. Drinking just prolongs the process.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

And congratulations on 106 days. That is some incredible numbers.


#7

Hi Cyn, i am also on day 106 and asked myself several times why not going back and have a couple of beers. If you look around this app you will find hundresds of postings of people who have tried to drink in moderation and have failed. As i do not want to go back where i have been coming from i have never dared to pick up this first drink again


#8

Your disease is talking to you. Like I always say my disease wants me dead. And it really does as my drinking has caused me to have liver cirrhosis and I am only 28 years old. When you feel this way, go for a run, meditate, journal, call your sponsor, volunteer. Don’t succumb to the voice in your head. It wants you in a dark room, isolated from the world with the bottle in hand. You’re bigger than this. Also, your boyfriend should be more understanding as to how hard this is for you. I would speak to him about setting boundaries. Good vibes coming your way :kissing_smiling_eyes:


#9

The point is to live life to it’s last full measure, and you can’t accomplish this drunk. A bad day is really just a couple of challenging moments that made the day “bad” and over a lifetime you will have many good days that make the bad ones seem trivial.


#10

Stoooooooppppp!

I went 140 days, had the same thought, and completely effed up. It’s not worth it. Find something less destructive to sink into. Even cake and ice cream aren’t as dangerous.


#11

This is a big reason I drank in the first place. Because I was putting up a facade. Trying to live up to what I thought I should be, what I felt was expected of me. It was too much and alcohol was my only release.

Self love, honest self reflection, hard internal work… These are all my releases now.

I think a big step is to stop pretending things are “all good” and start to figure out what’s wrong deep down and try to change them instead of drowning them in alcohol.


#12

I just ate almost a whole box of milk duds


#13

My first two months I had a huge sweet tooth.


#14

My first 8 months, no sweet tooth, my last 5 months, raging sweet tooth lol

What’s the point? Only you can answer that. I’m sober because I was not who I wanted to be as a drunk, I was a shell of the person I could’ve been. I never had suicidal thoughts sober, only when drunk. I never was physically or emotionally abusive sober, only when drunk. I never was financially stable or responsible as a drunk, I am as a sober person. Sober me isn’t nearly as self absorbed and spiteful as drunk me.

Whats the point? Lifes just better sober, even when it’s not perfect.

Keep trudging, saying no to that first drink and life will work itself out.


#15

Great job thus far on those 106 milestones! Each day I’m sure had it’s own challenges and victories!

I’ve felt very similar to the expressions youve shared as my X husband had the same love affair with the liquid harlot… that’s what I called her anyway since that was the only thing my husband could relate too or stand to have fun with whether I was fully present or not… but anywhooo… thats a whole different story…

But during those times where I had to struggle to find hope and meaning in longterm sobriety, I often treated myself to some alone time to seek out sober suport groups that centered on something other than abstinence. Getting involved in community interests that focus on bettering the community also really helped me integrate into a sober circle.

I also appealed to my vanity and enjoyed shedding the physical and emotional baggage alcohol left behind… there was a REAL ME under all that BS afterall! Some of us just burry our motivation deeper then others… love yourself enough to do this for YOU! Alcohol doesn’t deserve anymore of your time, beauty, or company… Because you are WORTH it!


#16

Hey, you’re not alone. So many nights I thought to myself, what’s the point of this? Of ALL of this? It’s a fools errand to spend time thinking about all that.

That’s the point, life ain’t grand all the time, and that’s ok. Most of the time, whatever is wrong is not our fault, its just life happening around us.

Day 106 and why not just one more? :blush: